Hey hey! It's dialogue punctuation confusion!

[Hex]

Is 'he spoke' a dialogue tag? As in (to pick a not-random example from the page I'm staring at):

He spoke, and the timbre of his voice was different, "Chrons experts, please help me decide if I need a comma or a full-stop."

He spoke and the timbre of his voice was different. "Blah blah blah..."

(actually I'd like to use a colon, but I'm trying to give them up)

 

[Warren_Paul]

Yes... and no.


That wasn't very helpful was it.


Definitely comma imo, certainly not a colon. I'm not sure either way is wrong, I'd just use a comma over a full stop.

 

[Abernovo]

The second works better for me, with the full stop. He spoke creates a little distance from the speaker, so I wouldn't have it as a direct dialogue tag with a comma, but that may just be me.

 

[The Judge]

Not a dialogue tag in the sense of "he said" ie "Yes," he spoke. isn't an option.

As you've written it here, comma, colon or full stop, whichever you like -- but I wouldn't have the comma after "spoke" as that separates out the "timbre" bit into a subclause which leaves "He spoke, 'Chrons experts...' " which is ungainly to say the least. For my taste the full stop is the way to go.

 

[RJM Corbet]

... (actually I'd like to use a colon, but I'm trying to give them up)

I like the colon too, to introduce dialogue, but nobody else seems to. I know various publishers have their own 'in house' rules about this sort of thing. Like numbers up to 10 written as numerals, numbers from eleven onwards, written as words, etc.

 

[allmywires]

How about:

When he spoke, the timbre of his voice was different. "Chrons experts, please help me decide if I need a comma or a full-stop."

...

(actually I'd like to use a colon, but I'm trying to give them up)

That's how I feel about semicolons

 

[Hex]

Thank you

 

[Peter Graham]

Hi Hex

He spoke, and the timbre of his voice was different, "Chrons experts, please help me decide if I need a comma or a full-stop."

Not in this above example, it isn't.

"Chrons experts! Please help me decide if I need a comma or a full stop or even an exclamation mark which is actually the right answer given that I am using something akin to the Latin vocative case in this sample, even though it isn't the one I'm looking for help with", spoke Hex.

This would be a dialogue tag, except "spoke" isn't ever really used in this context.

Basic rule - it if relates directly to a passage of dialogue and denotes who said it, it's a dialogue tag.

He spoke and the timbre of his voice was different. "Blah blah blah..."

Bit confusing as it stands. Are you saying "He spoke again, but this time the timbre of his voice was different", or "when he spoke, the timbre of his voice was different" (to how it had been in the past, presumably before the Arxxx'gggrph'aa had cruelly restructured his larynx) or "the timbre of his voice was different to that of the other speakers".

Regards,

Peter

 

[Hex]

"Thank you. I can't think why I didn't realise that before now," quoth she.

re the confusingness: it comes in the middle of a long passage describing the methods the Arxxx'gggrph'aa used and their pointy instruments of larynx reconstruction. There's also a musical interlude just before the chapter ends. I think it makes sense in context -- five million* or so people have read this and no one has yet complained that it doesn't make sense.

* exaggeration

 

[HareBrain]

I'd have said "he spoke" is no more a dialogue tag than "he waved his arms". It might indicate who is speaking, but it isn't directly related to the words spoken in the sense that "he said" would be. You couldn't write:

He spoke, "Marty, what an odious oik you are."

Though you could do the following.

He spoke thus: "Marty, what an odious oik thou art."

 

[Peter Graham]

re the confusingness: it comes in the middle of a long passage describing the methods the Arxxx'gggrph'aa used and their pointy instruments of larynx reconstruction

Fair play. I wasn't suggesting it made no sense at all, just that taken alone, it wasn't totally clear what you meant and therefore it was a bit unwise for tedious old curmudgeons such as myself to set to work with our packs of self-tapping commas and lost-head ellipses.

Regards,

Peter

PS: Hurrah for the musical interlude! Please say it isn't prog rock or damp-eyed soundscapes of whales breaking wind as favoured by yoga instructors.

 

[Ursa major]

...the Arxxx'gggrph'aa used and their pointy instruments of larynx reconstruction.

I'm seeing the pointy instrument as being like a wooden toothpick, particularly as it sounds as if it alters the timbre of the voice.... (Is this deliberate, or does it involve the toothpick shedding a spell...?)

​

 

[RJM Corbet]

I'm seeing the pointy instrument as being like a wooden toothpick, particularly as it sounds as if it alters the timbre of the voice.... (Is this deliberate, or does it involve the toothpick shedding a spell...?)

Well, depending on how 'Arxxx'gggrph'aa' is pronounced, one hopes the use of pointy instruments is restricted to larynx reconstruction only ...

 

[Hex]

... a bit unwise for tedious old curmudgeons such as myself to set to work with our packs of self-tapping commas and lost-head ellipses.

You/ your comments are never tedious (not even the one about there being no rules, although I liked the passive/aggressive stuff too)

PS: Hurrah for the musical interlude! Please say it isn't prog rock or damp-eyed soundscapes of whales breaking wind as favoured by yoga instructors.

No, indeed. It's a jolly dance number. With jazz hands.

@Ursa -- I must admit I haven't entirely worked out the precise way in which the pointy instrument works, although I think it has lots of sharp whirly bits.

 

[Brian G Turner]

He spoke, and the timbre of his voice was different, "Chrons experts, please help me decide if I need a comma or a full-stop."

My editing voice says you can drop "He spoke, and" entirely from the sentence, retain the meaning, and have it read simpler and easier.

After all if his voice sounded different and we hear words, then it's pretty obvious he spoke, so that fragment becomes redundant.

2c.

 

[Warren_Paul]

No, indeed. It's a jolly dance number. With jazz hands.

I love jazz hands!

@Ursa -- I must admit I haven't entirely worked out the precise way in which the pointy instrument works, although I think it has lots of sharp whirly bits.

Easy, stick them with the pointy end.