I am not sure it is aloof to honor your friends wishes! If she recognizes the level of their sentience and intelligence and grasps their desire for caution in revealing it that seems perfectly reasonable to me.
But there is so much we do not know about her. Perhaps she dies in childbirth or is overtaken by some other tragedy that makes it impossible for her to pass anything on to her children.
As a parent I can assure you there are things I know that I have not and will not pass on to my children. Fine children one and all but they really do not need to know everything about my life.
This is great timing! I was just thinking about what my next book would be, and now I know!! I just finished a pretty solid series by Ryk Brown, "The Frontiers Saga." It is military SF, maybe not at the very best, but very, very solid. (Through the first 4 episodes). The really good news? $2.99 a book!