Confidence Issuses

[Azzagorn]

I'm wondering, how do you lovely people get over the confidence hump? At this moment in time everything. I seem to write seems to be utter tripe! Seriously guys my conifdence is taking a pasting.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

It's really hard - ans I think we are harder than ourselves than ny others would ever be.
Do you have anyone else who reads your work and can ask about it? When I'm really down there are a couple of guys who are very good at reminding me I'm harder on myself than anyone else ever will be.
Also, we read stuff and it seems easy but actually we're mastering an art where we mostly only seem the outcome of those who are good enough to get published and we need to walk the walk first. So, if it's not working yet, it will if you stick with it.
Nc from what I've seen of your writing in the challenges you have every reason to stick with it.

 

[TheDustyZebra]

Well, the confidence hump that I had was about being able to come up with enough for a book -- I thought I was doomed to short stories forever! Not that that's a bad thing, because I like short stories, but I really hoped to write books.

So, stupid as this is going to sound, what got me over that hump was actually doing it. Seriously. I tried NaNoWriMo in 09 and only made it to about 8000 words, but in 2010 I tried it again and made it past 50k words with a lot more plot left to go, and it was eye-opening. I found out that all I had to do was have the right idea. And although I haven't managed to finish that one yet, I've had several more book ideas come to me, so I know they are out there for when I have time.

Whatever your confidence issue is, I suspect the answer is the same. Just keep doing it.

 

[Kickerz]

I think that in order to get over a lack of confidence, you should just remove it as a factor of consideration.

When I am doing something, I usually begin an endeavor with a certain understanding: If I do this, and I am not very good, I will be OK with that.

It really takes the pressure off, and cuts the legs out from under confidence problems. In truth, I have found that approaching topics of interest like this usually liberates me to just enjoy them, knowing all the while that I am actually getting better at it.

 

[RoninJedi84]

I agree 100% with Kickerz. Speaking toward the art of writing, I spent a very long time worrying whether or not I'd be good enough, and as a direct result I rarely finished a story I started for over ten years. Now, though, I've come to the understanding with myself that it doesn't matter. If I get done and it's not that good, I can always make it better. While the ultimate goal is (obviously) to be published, contracts, the whole nine yards - when I'm finished with my WIP, I personally don't care if I'm turned down by every publishing house in the nation. At the end of the day, what matters is I still wrote a flippin' novel, and it can always be improved and made "good enough".

So yeah, I say snatch the negative thoughts and chuck 'em out the window. Sit down and get it done. Then if it needs work, do the work. Stick with it, and tell the story you want to tell.

 

[Kickerz]

I agree 100% with Kickerz. Speaking toward the art of writing, I spent a very long time worrying whether or not I'd be good enough, and as a direct result I rarely finished a story I started for over ten years. Now, though, I've come to the understanding with myself that it doesn't matter. If I get done and it's not that good, I can always make it better. While the ultimate goal is (obviously) to be published, contracts, the whole nine yards - when I'm finished with my WIP, I personally don't care if I'm turned down by every publishing house in the nation. At the end of the day, what matters is I still wrote a flippin' novel, and it can always be improved and made "good enough".

So yeah, I say snatch the negative thoughts and chuck 'em out the window. Sit down and get it done. Then if it needs work, do the work. Stick with it, and tell the story you want to tell.

You got it figured out!

 

[allmywires]

I'm wondering, how do you lovely people get over the confidence hump? At this moment in time everything. I seem to write seems to be utter tripe! Seriously guys my conifdence is taking a pasting.

I'm just coming out of a 'dip' in confidence at the moment, I get them every now and then - my solution is to step back from the WIP, think about something else for a while (usually I do not write in these periods) and then when you feel better about it, come back to it. Today is the first day I've written anything in about a week and a half (a long long time for me!) and I'm excited about it.

When I am doing something, I usually begin an endeavor with a certain understanding: If I do this, and I am not very good, I will be OK with that.

Spot on. I used to agonise about whether publishers/agents would read my work and criticise it. Now I just want to write a good story for me. Anything else would be a bonus.

 

[Grimbear]

I'm just coming out of a 'dip' in confidence at the moment, I get them every now and then

ditto. Only more often than that. There are two things I lose confidence over - one is the strength of my writing, which, although I have times where I think it's ok and passable, I spend an equal or greater amount of time thinking it's pants.

Th other thing I lose confidence with is my ability to ever finish anything. Due to the above, I get a certain distance into something and lose confidence it's even worth finishing.

I just tell myself, when I get this, that it doesn't matter. The important thing is to carry on and I can edit it, and change it, and that all hope is not lost, because things can be improved upon and it's easier to improve something really bad than to improve something that's ok as the mistakes are that much more glaring and easy to spot.

Seriously guys my conifdence is taking a pasting.

Yep. I know how you feel.

knowing all the while that I am actually getting better at it.

But I agree with this. I'm learning, slowly. A lot of that is thanks to you guys.
I may find advice difficult to swallow at first, but I kind of mull it over for a few days, like taking a nasty-tasting medicine, you don't like it necessarily, but you know it will do you good in the end.

One way to give yourself a confidence boost, is to take out something you wrote awhile ago, and see how far you've come.

 

[allmywires]

I get a certain distance into something and lose confidence it's even worth finishing.

Happens to me all the time. Trying to work through it at the moment - it probably means I'm going to end up changing almost my entire WIP, but hopefully that will make it better, and I'll be grateful I did it (one day far in the future...) when I've actually finished something and am proud of it.

 

[Sapheron]

This might be unhelpful, but I hear finally getting published is a great help to the old confidence. Beyond that though, at least personally, I find it's just one of those demons you have to put up with. We all have our crosses to bear, and for an aspiring writer, one of the heaviest is having the strength to believe in your ability to produce better words than a drunk chimpanzee.

 

[Grimbear]

is having the strength to believe in your ability to produce better words than a drunk chimpanzee.

There's something to aim for anyway

 

[Jake Reynolds]

Every writer goes through this. I'll say it again. Every writer goes through this. The thing to remember is why you're writing. Are you writing to impress others with how skilled you are? Are you writing to be famous, to write a bestseller and be wealthy? Or are you writing because to do otherwise would kill a beautiful part of yourself, and no matter what anyone says you just have to do it or else your life will somehow be a shade less bright? And, if it's the latter, does it really matter how it's perceived by anyone else?

I'm not saying we don't all want to be published, to have people read our work and therefore transcend the world that surrounds them, but we also need to remember why we write, and that's because to not do so would be damnation to what makes us who we are.

Keep writing, and know that every word is making you better at it.

 

[Ursa major]

Th other thing I lose confidence with is my ability to ever finish anything. Due to the above, I get a certain distance into something and lose confidence it's even worth finishing.

This affects a lot of people, including me. I'm a very enthusiastic starter, but often the enthusiasm wanes quickly so... I'm.... You get the picture.

This has even affected me in my professional life, so I quickly migrated away from designing and writing code to the proposals/strategic end of the business (coming up with ideas and responding to customers' requests for what they might be doing three to five years out).

However, I've always known that I had to write a book (and an SF one at that), so I just stuck with it, to the extent that I've managed to complete at least the first draft of three of them. (They're the first three volumes of a tetralogy**.) These days, I spend most of my writing time improving (I hope) WiP1.

Even though the original drafts of those WiPs were far from being as good as they could be, I do feel proud of finishing them.

So, basically, if even I - an inveterate non-finisher - could complete a novel, anyone can.



** - Note that I've only written the first few chapters of WiP4, so the whole work isn't finished.

 

[AJB]

Hello Azzagorn,

As Springs says, I'm sure you're just being too harsh on yourself. In a way, it's good, sort of, since it shows that you have high standards for yourself, meaning you have that urge to make further improvements; something which all writers are continually looking to do.

To echo other comments... Once you've written something, that's not the end. No one writes anything perfectly on their first draft. Editing is the key to getting something you're happy with. Another echo: The more you write, the better you get. It's like any skill - Practice makes perfect.

Try not to put too much pressure on yourself and try to get back in that frame of mind that makes you enjoy writing.

AJB

 

[Glitch]

I started by writing just enough so I could sit back and watch the movie in my head.
Now I'm trying to translate that onto paper for other people to enjoy.

The point is you need to enjoy it. If pressure replaces enjoyment you may start to hate writing. Have goals by all means; but unless you enjoy the story you are trying to tell, chances are no one else will either.

 

[Mouse]

I'm wondering, how do you lovely people get over the confidence hump?

I remind myself of what I'm good at. Or wail about how awful I am here.

So yeah, when I'm thinking 'I can't write this,' I think (or try to) 'okay, you may suck, temporarily, at description, but you are all kinds of awesome at dialogue.'

Try that.

 

[Spellblade]

Confidence should not be about results, but about the satisfaction of the amount of work you put in what you like doing. I'd love to win a gold medal in the olympics...but seriously..I know I'll never have the patience to work out so much..so confidence wise..its a non-issue because I have no expection...

when it comes to writing, I hope to get published, and I don't have any deadline...I know it is going to happen, because I am willing to sacrfice an infinte number of hours until I achieve my goal... Lack of confidence often comes with its lot of impatience. My advice is, project yourself in a future where you are succesfull at what you are working towards, and keeps that level of hard work until you are where you want to be....

And we all have our personnal challenges and issues...I'm a french Canadian, living in a french province..trying to publish and English Science Ficiton Novel...talk about a difficult step to climb!

 

[chrispenycate]

And we all have our personnal challenges and issues...I'm a french Canadian, living in a french province..trying to publish and English Science Ficiton Novel...talk about a difficult step to climb!

Ah. C'est peut-être ça la réponse au gens qui disent que mon anglais c'est trop académique; l'écrire en français

I think everybody has confidence crises in whatever they do; if not, they're not pushing themselves hard enough, just coasting.

the only way to know if you've achieved your personal level of incompetence is to go beyond it, into the unknown. Which is a bit scary, and there are no guarantees.

But otherwise you're only doing the same old things (whatever they might be):

Anyway, in the Chrons these crises of confidence are dealt with by aversion therapy; if you self denigrate, you get slapped. Some residents need it more often than others…

 

[StilLearning]

My egos massive (not self denigration, I am one hell of a guy along with it ) so when I mess up, and have to confront that I may not be so perfect, it's a long fall and rough landing.

I've got mechanisms for dealing with this, and protecting my Hindenburg like ego:

1: I've kept various mementos of all the great stuff I've already achieved.

2: I remind myself constantly that I'm learning more from a failure than a success, and greatness doesn't turn up overnight but has to be built off the back of lots of failed attempts.

3: I rely on my family for pick-me-ups and advice, hugely - anything I've ever done is 50% down to them.

4: If all else fails: I go into the back garden, throw a screaming hissy fit at the sky, scoff a bar of chocolate, and then go to bed with a very bad action movie. I have punch bag for times when verbally abusing the universe just won't do.

My neighbours truly think I'm insane because of this, but it works for me.

 

[Colbey Frost]

I like that sick feeling when someone tells you what's wrong with your work. That moment of horror as you realise you've wasted your time... because you know, or should now know, where you're going wrong and correct it.

I live in my own little world so a lack of confidence isn't a problem for me until someone bursts my bubble