Help wanted with a single line.

[Bowler1]

I have a line that I'm not sure about, mostly because my spell check does not like the word 'clickity'. Any and all ideas welcome.


'The room was silent, not even the little clickity clicks of a keyboard.'

 

[AnyaKimlin]

I like clickity. It doesn't feel like a full sentence though.

Mine objects to kerplictions but I am keeping it

 

[Ursa major]

Google thinks 'clickity' should be spelt 'clickety', but then complains about clickety, offering clicker, clickers, clicked....

 

[Tannara Young]

You're missing a verb. What were the clickitys "not even" doing? Being heard? Breaking the silence? Echoing? Existing?

 

[Venusian Broon]

I agree with Tannara, so I'd put something a bit like:

'The room was silent, not even the little clickity clicks of a keyboard registered.' (or sounded or something like that.)

Also, my instinctive use of clickity is to use it with 'clack' but that sort of implies, at least in my mind, railways and trains...

 

[SciFrac]

I like "clickety" and I agree with Tannara. Add a verb. While you're at it, can you take out "was" and use an active voice?

 

[billhafan]

I have a line that I'm not sure about, mostly because my spell check does not like the word 'clickity'. Any and all ideas welcome.


'The room was silent, not even the little clickity clicks of a keyboard.'

I looked it up and find it listed as: clickety-click : n. - A rhythmic, fast succession of slight sharp noises.

also:
clickety-clack :
   [klik-i-tee-klak] noun -a rhythmic, swiftly paced succession of alternating clicks and clacks, as the soundhttp://dictionary.reference.com/browse/sound produced by the wheels of a train moving over tracks.

Hope that helps?

 

[Abernovo]

Rather than clickity-click, I'd go for clickety-clack, like billhafan. I also think some sort of comparative might help.

'The room was silent; unlike the other offices, there wasn't even the clickety-clack of a keyboard.'

I really like clickety-clack/click, but sounds (although much more pedestrian) would work. It wouldn't have the same feel, though.

 

[prizzley]

You might consider

'The room was silent, not even or without even the usual little clickity clicks of a keyboard.'

I wondered why we should expect the clickity clicks, so 'usual' helps out.

My vote is for clickety clicks. Clackity clacks are much louder, as in billhafen's railways.

 

[billhafan]

I had a similar dilemma with the description of a character walking menacingly towards his victims - I thought the relentless clicking of his shoes on the marble floor sounded like a metronome, so used: the metronoming beat of his approach (etc), but found it wasn't a real word ... then tried something like: his heels metronomed as he approached (etc.), and found that too wasn't a recognised word (?) really frustrating, as both sounded right to me!

The alliteration of both your choices are good for me, and add to the vision. I guess it goes down to personal taste, now you know either are usable - though sometimes I think we (as writers ) are entitled to make up the odd word to paint a picture, if the reader can go past it and understand its use - even if the OED doesn't list it. After all, if it gets used again by others, it then ends up in regular use and included in the OED and elsewhere, and if deliberate, rather than a mistake, I personally think we should do it - after all, English is a living language, isn't it?

Maybe a bit controversial for the purists, but we write and read Sci-Fi and Fantasy, with lots of made up words that our imaginations throw out there, included - especially Names (some of which are unpronounceable!)

And if floccinaucinihilipilification can be used, there's hope for lots of our odd words, I'd say.

 

[Bowler1]

I agree the verb is missing, sounded or similiar will be added to the line for completeness, so that was very helpful. I thought of the train thing as well, but that feels too big for association with a keyboard. I think I will use the '-' and link the words and remove 'was'. I had dithered on e or i, but I'll use e now.

As Chrispy is not on this thread I'll be brave. I also think English is a living language and has scope for change. So fingers crossed in years to come clickety will be a respected and accepted word, fat chance, but you never know.

It's an important line as my character makes a mistake in a meeting and finds himself in a difficult position, so the silence has to have impact. It's also going to be a competition entry, so using a made up word is a brave choice.

Guys, thank you all for the help. Focus on such small details is something I could only ever hope to get on here.

 

[SciFrac]

... fingers crossed in years to come clickety will be a respected and accepted word.... It's also going to be a competition entry, so using a made up word is a brave choice.

This is fiction. We make up worlds that don't exist and give them names only relevant in our stories. I think new vocabulary is part of the fun, this is how language changes. I always enjoy things like this, because I see that the writer trusts me to figure it out, and I respect them for treating me like an intelligent reader.

 

[Venusian Broon]

I think clickity (or clickety) is actually ok as a word - just a very obscure one that isn't really used a lot nowadays. People use cars and planes much more instead of trains and the other mainstay of clickity-clack, typewriters, don't really exist in the modern world. I have to say though when I'm touch typing, it sounds more clickity-clack to me than clickity-click.

The word reminds me of other similar constructions that surely must be legal, as I've heard them used, such as lickity-split. (of course I may have got the spelling wrong...)

As Scifrac says new vocabulary is a lot of fun. One that stands out for me is the way PKD used the word kibble. I've actually used it in the way that he used it, in the non-legal sense*, i.e. to describe loads of useless objects that seem to multiply**. Although there appears to be a legal definition that must be where he derived his version: to grind into small pieces.



* I'm assuming that the PKD defininition has not made it to mainstream dictionaries. Perhaps I'm wrong. But I'm pretty sure it wasn't 'correct' when he first wrote it down.

** Except in my case they really did multiply.

 

[Grinnel]

I am writing on a laptop, to my keyboard goes 'tuka tuka' no help there' Im afraid.

 

[nubins]

I dont think there is a problem with the line, but does it have to be clickety? Keyboards in films and.. er.. well the old style keyboards shall we say sound more like a "clack" than a "click" I think. Not that that helps here.

If you really feel it needs to change... perhaps tapping or patter as alternatives to use?

 

[Venusian Broon]

If you really feel it needs to change... perhaps tapping or patter as alternatives to use?

Perhaps pitter-patter...no wait that's more for rain, ye gads, back to the same problem

EDIT - oh yes and the pitter-patter of tiny feet as well of course.

 

[Bowler1]

EDIT - oh yes and the pitter-patter of tiny feet as well of course.

Ekk... I don't want pitter-patter. The little woman is already bugging me about future little feet, that's more than enough for me...