Gord, I don't think the talk about life 'like us' means looking exactly like us. If you have a water-rich planet, with something like nucleic acids as a basis for life, the basic hypothesis is that you need cell-like structures. Without something akin to cell walls, you lack a containment and stuff can disperse. Once you have cells, or something like them, then there are patterns that are likely to occur.
Then you have the intelligence factor. Do you sacrifice your arms or your head in a fall? So, is it likely that evolution will probably favour some protection for brains, or their equivalents? The truth is often odder than we can imagine, but there will likely be patterns that we can identify.
As to neutron stars and black holes, neither have ever been visually observed. They are, as I understand, mathematical models, that best explain the results gathered. Unless someone comes up with something better, I'm fine with them, personally. I'm sure the models will be refined over time.
Metryq's comment perhaps comes about because of 'icy' comets. For years, comets were described as clusters of rock and ice, although nobody had ever collected samples or been able to study them closely. A few years ago, they were able to and found that the particular comet they collided the spacecraft with was much rockier than expected. So if comets aren't necessarily icy, then do other models need tweaking? That question is close to the heart of all good research.
Metryq, forgive me if I misrepresent you. It wasn't my intention, only my interpretation of a current debate going on about the exact properties of some astronomic phenomena.