Advanced dialogue punctuation

Jo Zebedee

Jo Zebedee

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Dad is saying "SpaceCon, 'may all your dreams be astral' TM, can say what they like."

Which is fine. Except I want Dad to make little quote marks in the air at the slogany bit.

This is what I have, but its soooo clunky:

“SpaceCon.” Dad made quote marks in the air, and put on a false voice. “’May all your dreams be astral’ TM can say what they like.”




Heeellllllppppp.
 
"SpaceCon, 'may all your dreams be astral' TM, can say what they like," said Dad, finger-quotes and all.
 
Would this work?

"SpaceCon, 'may all your dreams be astral,'" said Dad in a put-on voice and making quote marks with his fingers. "TM, can say what they like."

I wonder if 'advertising voice' would work, instead of false, or put-on voice? You know, that over the top voice used by some advertising voice-overs.
 
Is the trademark related to the name Spacecon, or the motto? If the latter, then TM should be inside the interior quotes too.
 
I like "advertising voice" as well. Why isn't SpaceCon included in the quote? Don't commercials say their company name as well? Whatever you choose, I suggest using the simplest version.
 
No, TM is the dad making a joke about the motto. I think. There would be a TM at the end of any advertising, I'm guessing, like Disney have it, but not directly linked to the slogan. Does that make sense?

Actually, I think they should be. That's the third time I've changed that so far...
 
The TM is confusing. When dad says "they" it looks like he is abbreviating their name to TM. Like Proctor and Gamble is P&G.

If it's for 'trademark' then spell it.
 
I'm hoping to work out where the function is to turn it into one of the proper TM logo. I've done it once before, but i can't figure out how. Any techies. I like advertising voice and finger-quotes, i'll work with both of them.
 
I think it also works without the TM at all. The desired effect is given by the interior quotes. In fact**, it works pretty well without any mention of what he's doing with his fingers or what voice he's speaking in.

**(Disclaimer: not actually a fact.)
 
Thank you, James. (that's a really useful one to know, I had no idea there was such a function).

Um, I did wonder if it was obvious enough without the TM, if it is I might leave it off.
 
“SpaceCon.” Dad gestured quote marks with his fingers. “May all your dreams be astral. TM can say what they like.”
 
I'd leave the TM off, cos you don't tend to say that bit, do you?

Is the bit in quotes sarky? Or is it really their slogan?

"Space may-all-your-dreams-be-astral Con, can say what they like."

As in Mc-heart-attack-in-a-bun-Donalds. 'Cept my punctuation's dodgy as hell today.
 
I'd whack it all together:

Dad made quote marks in the air, and put on a false voice. “SpaceCon: May all your dreams be astral can say what they like.”
Click to expand...

Agree with Mouse, the TM isn't necessary and makes it clunky.
 
I think we all agree to ditch the TM. When I first read it, I didn't get that it was trademark. So yes, it will confuse the reader.
 
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