(I just started the book and by page 10 just couldn’t help myself, I‘m sorry)
“Did you find it hard to locate us?” said the vision of Burberrry clad blonde perfection who greeted me.
“uh…no…uh…glass skyscrapers and medieval castles make for an interesting blend of architectural styles, very distinctive” I said nervously.
“I just wondered why you were 10 whole seconds late,” she said with icy contempt.
“I…uh…was delayed by the guard. I’d like to complain that he wanted a full body cavity search, by the way.”
“Wanted?” she shook her nimbus of magnificent frosty allure, “…you mean you got in without one?”
I was just about to reply to this when another ash blonde apparent model from the Burberry’s catalog stepped out of the two giant oaken doors at the end of the teakwood paneled waiting room. “..Ms Anastasia,” she said in a voice of syrupy pleasantness,”..have you been offered refreshment?”
“uh..no” I replied, watching as the other blond went as white as her hair.”
“I….see”, she gestured to the guards in medieval costumes I had been wondering about and they stepped forward to drag the first girl off screaming. “Would you like coffee, tea, water, or Fanta Grape”
“uh…water” I said, wondering why I had acquiesced in my roomate’s pleas to keep her appointment with this mysterious tycoon she had told me it took her half her college career to get an appointment with.
I mean, she’d just looked so pitiful, laying there with her wrists bleeding and the crimson soaking through the back of her Burberry coat.
“Mr Gray will see you now,” The ash blonde's voice was like the sound of a lot of glass breaking somewhere in the back at Tiffany's. I followed her through the door and immediately tripped. Looking back I noticed the 4inch slab of brass that had risen through the floor and was now sinking back.
“You may rise”, said a voice as I struggled to my feet. It came from an enormously fat figure seated on a huge jeweled throne atop a raised dais about sixty feet away. As I approached him across the ivory floor I noticed he was clad only in his underwear. He seemed about 16, and had enormous spectacles, with the actual Coca-Cola logos clearly visible on them. He was surrounded by computer screens on poles. I couldn’t see what was on them but the moaning and screaming that was emanating from them gave me a good idea.
He took a bite from the gargantuan drumstick in his hand, dripping grease onto his chin and smiled down at me.
“Hey, You’re pretty, wanna have sex?
“How dare…” I remembered the girl being dragged off, “uh…no.” I managed.
“Are you sure? I’ll pay ya a million bucks”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Here’s the contract, no sex without the contract.” He tossed a very greasy volume about the size of Webster's at my feet. “Don’t forget the notary”
Uh…just one thing.” I said as I turned to go. “How did you get so wealthy?
He laid the drumstick onto a plate held by another ash blonde at his side and leaned forward, steepling his fingers. “I know people extremely well and I realize how to deal with them almost instinctively. I am obsessed with control and have always worked very hard at managing all aspects of my life and the people around me with an iron discipline. And my father died 6 months ago and left me ten billion dollars”
I picked up the contract and left the building. I threw it into the trash can at the corner. The bus driver wouldn’t let me on with it as he said he didn’t want his vehicle to smell of fried chicken for the next week.
“Did you find it hard to locate us?” said the vision of Burberrry clad blonde perfection who greeted me.
“uh…no…uh…glass skyscrapers and medieval castles make for an interesting blend of architectural styles, very distinctive” I said nervously.
“I just wondered why you were 10 whole seconds late,” she said with icy contempt.
“I…uh…was delayed by the guard. I’d like to complain that he wanted a full body cavity search, by the way.”
“Wanted?” she shook her nimbus of magnificent frosty allure, “…you mean you got in without one?”
I was just about to reply to this when another ash blonde apparent model from the Burberry’s catalog stepped out of the two giant oaken doors at the end of the teakwood paneled waiting room. “..Ms Anastasia,” she said in a voice of syrupy pleasantness,”..have you been offered refreshment?”
“uh..no” I replied, watching as the other blond went as white as her hair.”
“I….see”, she gestured to the guards in medieval costumes I had been wondering about and they stepped forward to drag the first girl off screaming. “Would you like coffee, tea, water, or Fanta Grape”
“uh…water” I said, wondering why I had acquiesced in my roomate’s pleas to keep her appointment with this mysterious tycoon she had told me it took her half her college career to get an appointment with.
I mean, she’d just looked so pitiful, laying there with her wrists bleeding and the crimson soaking through the back of her Burberry coat.
“Mr Gray will see you now,” The ash blonde's voice was like the sound of a lot of glass breaking somewhere in the back at Tiffany's. I followed her through the door and immediately tripped. Looking back I noticed the 4inch slab of brass that had risen through the floor and was now sinking back.
“You may rise”, said a voice as I struggled to my feet. It came from an enormously fat figure seated on a huge jeweled throne atop a raised dais about sixty feet away. As I approached him across the ivory floor I noticed he was clad only in his underwear. He seemed about 16, and had enormous spectacles, with the actual Coca-Cola logos clearly visible on them. He was surrounded by computer screens on poles. I couldn’t see what was on them but the moaning and screaming that was emanating from them gave me a good idea.
He took a bite from the gargantuan drumstick in his hand, dripping grease onto his chin and smiled down at me.
“Hey, You’re pretty, wanna have sex?
“How dare…” I remembered the girl being dragged off, “uh…no.” I managed.
“Are you sure? I’ll pay ya a million bucks”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Here’s the contract, no sex without the contract.” He tossed a very greasy volume about the size of Webster's at my feet. “Don’t forget the notary”
Uh…just one thing.” I said as I turned to go. “How did you get so wealthy?
He laid the drumstick onto a plate held by another ash blonde at his side and leaned forward, steepling his fingers. “I know people extremely well and I realize how to deal with them almost instinctively. I am obsessed with control and have always worked very hard at managing all aspects of my life and the people around me with an iron discipline. And my father died 6 months ago and left me ten billion dollars”
I picked up the contract and left the building. I threw it into the trash can at the corner. The bus driver wouldn’t let me on with it as he said he didn’t want his vehicle to smell of fried chicken for the next week.
On rereading the responses I see that none of them really indicated that but it had somehow become a fear of mine after I'd posted it.
