GAME: Hook my first line and sink her in to a paragraph!

[Boneman]

"If I were you, pal," the barman said, "I'd get out of town pronto."
"How many times have I told you - I'm not called Pronto" I said, indignantly.
Besides, getting out of town was impossible, since the force-field had been lowered. When they got their quota of indiginents, they'd lift it again, but until then I was stuck. May as well have another beer. I didn't see the knife descend, but I felt it.



The cave was uncovered by the earthquake, and some foolish children entered it before we knew what was happening.

 

[J Riff]

The cave was uncovered by the earthquake, and some foolish children entered it before we knew what was happening. When the kids reappeared a few hours later, we knew that we had made a terrible mistake.
Cthulhu had claimed them- our very own beloved offspring, and it was octoid horror-beasts, not children, who emerged from the cursed cave on that long-ago afternoon. In some cases it was an improvement, but even well-behaved children with eight arms are a handful for any parent.

Delbert had no intention of missing his favorite TV show.

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

Delbert had no intention of missing his favorite TV show. Billy Smith, Star Ranger was broadcast five nights a week in fifteen minute segments, starting exactly at six o'clock. Delbert put on his official Star Ranger helmet, slightly too large for a seven-year-old, as his dad mumbled something about somebody named Ike. He held his official Star Ranger ray gun in his hand and bounced eagerly on the couch. Mom was humming "How Much Is That Doggy in the Window?" when Delbert saw the tiny blue woman under the TV set.

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The conductor raised his baton and nodded to Samuel.

 

[Cathy M.]

The conductor raised his baton and nodded to Samuel. It was his first time as lead violinist, and even though they had practiced the same solo so many times, the boy looked nervous. He could see sweat forming at his brow, Samuel's finger trembling so badly it caused his bow to shiver, 'Just don't look at the crowd.' thought the conductor, taking a deep breath as he prayed for the best. He gave an encouraging smile, watching the boys grip instantly tighten as he took the stance of a true musician, before he raised the baton higher in his hand, and with one sweeping motion, signaled the band to play.

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The stars fell from the sky like rain.

 

[jastius]

The stars fell from the skies like rain in a silver fountain of light. The tachyon drive was jammed into reverse with the last bitter capering’s of that madman who had doomed us all. The incremental forces of thousands of years of wear being brought to bear onto the ships outer hull in milliseconds were tearing her apart. We watched the sun pool up like a melted crayon upon our hull through the lace work of the remaining frame, the wavelengths of light and gravity fields all run amok in a crazy maypole dance. Jenny grabbed for my hand, tears of farewell streaming down her face. We stood there together as the ship finally ripped away. Our eyes promised to remember with every fiber of our being. With the last breath of oxygen in our lungs we stared down as the universe in a cataclysmic explosion began anew. Jenny held my hand as we boarded the star cruiser for her maiden voyage. The first faster then light tachyon drive ship. A new ship and the start of our new life together.




The security gate announced with a blare how wrong this innocuous seeming visitor was.

 

[Alex The G and T]

The security gate announced with a blare how wrong this innocuous seeming visitor was. In one pants pocket the intruder held a handful of coins, and a disposable cigarette lighter. The other pocket was exposed to contain a bundle of car keys and a toe nail clipper. The alarm blared again to reveal a belt buckle; and yet another time for an aluminum-wrapped pack of chewing gum. Clearly, this menace had to be foiled.



Karl felt a subtle susurration flicker across his hematosphere.

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

Karl felt a subtle susurration flicker across his hematosphere. He adjusted his retinas to full interaction and searched for an explanation. A routine diagnostic check revealed no abnormalities. Just to be sure, he sent a team of nanos on a search-and-destroy mission. A few miiliseconds later all cell structures had been optimized to perfect function. He felt better, younger, stronger. That was nothing new; he felt that every time he reset himself. He had just decided that the sensation had been a figment of his imagination when he felt the first headache of his life, and blacked out.

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The cave was wet, dark, and full of high-pitched chattering.

 

[MPorter]

The cave was wet, dark, and full of high pitched chattering. Lucy adjusted the makeshift bandage around her arm and tried the radio again. Nothing but static. The fading glow from her electric torch barely touched the darkness now. What would happen when its weak heartbeat flicker finally stilled? She did not want to think about it. She did not want to think about the deadening cold that leached at her limbs. At least the pain in her arm was now a more manageable throb. This was not how she had envisioned their tenth anniversary.


“Come on, it will be fun,” Brian had insisted. He clutched the cruise brochure between his hands like a life preserver. “You said you wanted to get away. How much further away could we get than the Antilles Islands? There’s sun, snorkeling, spelunking…”


Lucy’s laughter echoed off the cave walls...

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Cancer was such an ugly sounding word.

 

[Boneman]

Cancer was such an ugly-sounding word. I objected to it, since the wanted poster described me as a cancer in society, which should mean I'd be spreading to others. But everyone who was anyone knew I worked alone - always had done, always will. But they were right about one thing: I was uncurable.


God, I hoped I was awake.

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

God, I hoped I was awake. To imagine that this glittering palace of ice, surrounding the ship on all sides, was merely a dream would be too terrible to imagine. I had learned well from my companions. Life is very short, but dreams last forever.

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Jacqueline slammed on the brakes.

 

[Boneman]

Jacqueline slammed on the brakes. The knight and his charger flew over her car and she saw sparks flying as the hooves skidded along the road, the horse skittering this way and that, as it tried to stay upright.

"Damn," she murmured. "I thought I'd closed my mind before I left."



I barely felt the blade as it made the first ritual cut.

 

[J Riff]

I barely felt the blade as it made the first ritual cut. I continued reading the sports page as Louie gave me my usual ten-dollar haircut and shave. Soon, I was ready for action, and the discoteque called to me like the jungle calls to a giant savage crocodile, or perhap an anaconda. My name is Snake, SnakeOil Smith they call me, and I am the hippest thing in tight pants around here, sister. Just ask the guys outside seven eleven, they all know me.

The Tsunami struck the city just as Herbert finished re-shingling the dog house.

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

The Tsunami struck the city just as Herbert finished re-shingling the dog house. He took pride in his work. The shingles were made of redwood and felt like rough fur. The word "BUTCHIE" gleamed in polished brass above the opening. It gave him something to think about when the giant wave swept him away. Herbert clung to the dog house for most of a day and a night, then wound up in a baseball field in the next town. "Nice dog house" the paramedics said when they found him.

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It was her last match, and the light would last only a few seconds.

 

[J Riff]

It was her last match, and the light would last only a few seconds. She scrabbled through drawers, hurling objects over her shoulder as she searched frantically for the only object that could save her.
Flesh sizzled and she yelped as darkness filled the room, but her hand closed around the familiar cylindrical tube of her Hello Kitty flashlight and she groaned with relief.
Moments later, back under the covers, she continued reading the latest JRiFF novel and all was well with the world again.

Bruce threw his cellphone to the ground and stomped on it visciously.

 

[sinister42]

Bruce threw his cellphone to the ground and stomped on it viciously. It lay there and writhed at him with the stubby arms and legs it had decided to grow and use to strangle him. He walked on, trying to keep up with the vinolinguist, who was explaining how the bioengineering of grapes into sentience was leading to more complex variations in wine flavor and a more efficient and varied vinoculture. Bruce was skeptical; the current fad of bio-computation and genetically enhanced technology had always seemed to him a strange and dangerous path - a theory amply demonstrated by the scrabbling cell phone bleeding its life out behind him.


[much debt owed to China Mieville here - that guy is seriously warping my brain...]

"George wasn't dead, but there was a funeral for him anyway."

 

[Boneman]

George wasn't dead, but there was a funeral for him anyway. By saying goodbye to the living in this way, the village held a wonderful celebration of his life and he enjoyed every minute of it. There'd be no mourning and regrets when he did pass on, and he didn't think that would be for a decade or so. He was almost correct.


The tree fell in the night and nobody heard it.

 

[J Riff]

The tree fell in the night and nobody heard it.
Piqued, it creaked erect with a bark of annoyance, and settled in to wait. The idea had taken root in its mind, that it would be a sap to fall unheard.
Later it branched out into thinking about the possibility of leaving the forest, but suddenly, after only a few decades, a peasant wandered into the deep woods where the tree dwelt, and it fell over with a satisfying crunch. Unfortunately it crushed the hapless peasant before he heard it fall, and so the tree stood again, and waited. Its waiting there now - for you.

The alien Brain-creature floated into Earth's artmosphere.

 

[Boneman]

The alien Brain-creature floated into Earth's artmosphere. It took the name Tracy Emin, and for decades fooled the gullible and the stupid into believing an unmade bed was art worth money, when every schoolboy had the same art at home, and their mothers wouldn't pay a penny for it, insisting that the work of art be destroyed forthwith. Having beamed up hundreds of cows, the alien was miffed when someone cut one in half, and people paid money to see it. So she left our artmosphere, and floated home.


The coins slipped easily from my hand into the purse of the courtesan.

 

[J Riff]

The coins slipped easily from my hand into the purse of the courtesan. She curtsied once and set off upon her appointed task, knowing that I, the King, would be very displeased if said duty was not carried out to the letter. I waited in a dim alleyway, posing as a simple peasant or street ruffian, and before long the wench reappeared, but there was a problem. She had forgotten the bucket of lard.

The bones of the missing men were found behind the beer parlor, in a sack.

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

The bones of the missing men were found behind the beer parlor, in a sack. Sargeant Jake Barlow felt sick. He'd known most of these men, given speeding tickets to a few, eaten burgers and cole slaw with a couple. The sack was one of those big burlap things that sailors hauled around in old movies. Doc Mitchell, the local coroner and sometime forensic examiner, pulled each bone out of the sack, examined it as if it were a rare artifact, and placed it carefully in a plastic bag. His rubber gloves were immaculate. "Funny thing," he said. "Just bones. Been missing only two days, and there's not a trace of flesh left."

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From above, the clouds looked like a white ocean.