imagery issues

[juelz4sure]

I am having a huge issue with some imagery, I will admit that if I can figure out how to do this I will be using it in the 300 word challenge. If this is not allowed that fine as well I'll go go in a different direction, either way I would still like to know how to do this, for possible future reference.

Sometimes in movies you'll see a character begin to tell a story, it will then actually show you the story opposed to the story teller telling it. How might one put that in words? Any help would be appreciated and again if this is not allowed for the challenge I will not use it in any form.

 

[HareBrain]

If I understand you right, it's just a case of moving from the storyteller's voice to straight narrative. Here's an example.

"It was a wild night," the storyteller said. "The moon was being blown all over the place, and most of the constellations got all shifted out of shape."

That was when the Great Bear started looking like a saucepan, he told them. And all through that wildness, Mr Embridge stood at his gate, waiting for his possum to come back from the shops.

(Then you just carry on with the story.)

 

[Hex]

Gosh. I'm looking forward to finding out what happens to the possum.

What HB said, Juelz. And I think it can be really effective.

If you want to make it clunkier you could have a line saying something like:

The storyteller's rheumy eyes looked inward, and Cassie could almost see the wild memory there: the Great Bear bent to look like...

 

[Warren_Paul]

Nothing to add but back how HB showed it. That's the way to do it, and it is a very interesting example. Where's the rest of the story, HB?

 

[David Evil Overlord]

Gosh. I'm looking forward to finding out what happens to the possum.

Mr Embridge learns the valuable lesson that possums, once unleashed at the shops with your credit card, cannot be restrained.

 

[Ursa major]

Gosh. I'm looking forward to finding out what happens to the possum.

It played possum. By the time the great bear noticed the possum squirming in the saucepan, it was too late...

 

[The Judge]

juelz, if it's just the issue of technique, then there's no problem using the advice here for your 300 worder (but try and avoid writing about possums, they get embarrassed at the publicity...). The only problem might arise if in any way you're explaining the story or showing how the imagery you intend to use is a metaphor for something else or the story is an allegory or something of that sort. Steer clear of explanations and you're fine.

Not long now until the 300 worder opens -- I'm looking forward to seeing your story-in-a-story!

 

[Tecdavid]

Another idea, for a larger story perhaps, could be to write the storyteller's segment in a first-person narrative, as if the storyteller is adressing the reader themselves. A prologue could be written this way, before the narrative changes to third-person for the body of the work.
I don't think this is what you had in mind, but it's a thought.

 

[juelz4sure]

Thanks for all the help, I think I know how I'm gonna approach the story now hopefully it works out.