Father and son interaction. Is this odd?

[AnyaKimlin]

Having a moment with a beta reader comment.

My main character in the opening scene is "arguing" with his father about his persistent lack of school attendance and his ability to lose his guards. His father uncharacteristically whacks him on the back of the head and then backs off regretting it. He goes quiet and sinks into a chair, tired.

My main character mentions his father looks older, it is obvious the father is angry and seems out of sorts but beyond their interaction I give no reason why. (It does come out later in the story). My beta reader wants me to give them the reason but I think it is too much information in the first chapter. I do make it clear the father is king and an absolute monarch but I don't want to "invent" a reason

Personally, I think the fact that his son has been seriously testing limits is enough for a moment of uncharacteristic violence followed by regret for the action.

Thoughts?

 

[Juliana]

Personally I would be happy with just the basic info you already give. I'm always quite happy to wait for more information down the line, as opposed to all at once in the start of the story. Gives the plot a bit of mystery.

 

[TheDustyZebra]

I agree. From what you say here, it sounds reasonable, and leaves something for the imagination and/or the further reading. We don't have to know everything up front.

 

[AnyaKimlin]

Thanks I think I will leave it. My view is it would be an infodump to give more information and ruin the rest of the book.

 

[Dozmonic]

You explain the father's reasons later, which means the loose end is tied up. No need to explain it all there and then. It adds a thread for the reader to watch out for.

 

[AnyaKimlin]

ok great thanks. I have come to the conclusion said beta reader is great for my cosy mystery but may not be as into fantasy.

You may get more questions as I am looking at another comment with a furrowed brow. I can cope with negative feedback and constructive criticism. But when I am left scratching my head that is when I struggle because I do not know if I am just being blind.

 

[Bowler1]

But when I am left scratching my head that is when I struggle because I do not know if I am just being blind.

We're all a little blind when it comes to our own writing. Your original father son interaction seemed fine to me. The reader should want to do a little work figuring stuff out, and enable the reader to engage with the book/plot etc.

 

[Brian G Turner]

Readers will often have different personal preferences - question is separating the stylistic disagreements from any technical errors being pointed out.

 

[AnyaKimlin]

I do agree. My gut is it is someone being picky. Also the agent I have just submitted to, has said in a blog interview that she hates it when new writers put an entire book into chapter one.

The other complaint was my mention of Sherlock Holmes in the first chapter as a banned old world text. He says I should leave mentioning it until later. Personally, I think that would be a mistake. Having Sherlock there gives the connection with Earth straight away and introduces one of the more important series characters by proxy. (It is his book). That I am more confident about as two other beta readers have said they loved the mention of Sherlock it added intrigue with him saying he would be better off caught with porn.

I'm dreading checking out the comments on chapter two lol

 

[Bowler1]

I've had one line that has split my readers, almost 50:50, no middle ground between them so far. In my case, the fact that they've all commented one way or the other on that one line means to me it has impact, so I'm keeping it. Unless an agent says otherwise....

Anyway, you can't please everyone all the time - take their kind efforts and comments on board, and decide for yourself. Then cross fingers and toes, and hope you made the right choice.

 

[AnyaKimlin]

I think that is my issue - they have gone to a lot of effort and I like them.

But you are right Bowler I should have more confidence in it.