AnyaKimlin
Confuddled
This is more a plea for help than a critique as it is still in dirty draft mode (so I apologise for the standard of writing) and it maybe a little confusing.
I have a nasty cold and this has bothered me all afternoon - anything just to dislodge an idea so I continue would be wonderul. It is an electronic device of some description (technology about contemporary to our own but can be a little before or after). She's an assassin (in my world it is a clan/race) but they need to prove both that and the fact she has been selling drugs that were stolen from a lab in another country.
He stands up, salutes me. ‘Your Majesty.’ Whatever else goes on between Jack and myself in private he manages to be professional at all times when we are in public. He walks over to Lady Lydia and hands her the warrant. ‘Ma’am, if you tell us were your children are we can either make sure they stay there or take them back to the palace. Hand me your mobile phone.’
‘I don’t have one.’ She glares at me.
My eyebrows rise in Qing’s direction. ‘That, true?’
‘Left jacket pocket.’ He nods. ‘I can hear the drone from it. There is another electronic device in her umm… ‘ The teenage boy blushes and points to his chest and coughs. ‘Bra.’..
‘Don’t suppose you sniff out drugs can you?’ I grin at him.
‘I’m an assassin not a dog.’ He is indignant.
Jack places his hand on Lady Lydia’s arm and insists she rises to her feet. ‘Lady Lydia, unless you want a strip search I demand you hand me both your mobile phone and the other device.’ He tugged at the neck of her dress.
She sniffs and sucks in her lips in a manner that makes me consider Galileo. (is a cat) ‘He’s lying.’ Her head nods towards Qing. ‘How can you take the word of a convict against the widow of a prince?’
‘I’m not taking his word for it.’ I move to stand right in front of her, making full use of my entire six-feet eleven inches. ‘As my Chief-Captain says he’s quite happy to remove that pretty outfit to find out which one of you is telling the truth.’ Pointing back in the direction of Qing I wink at him. ‘Not to mention he is the son of a princess. Technically he outranks you in society.’
Jack fingers the collar of her dress and whispers something in her ear.
Her expression manages to sour further and she sniffs. ‘Your fathers wouldn’t approve of you treating me that way.’ She goes into her pocket and hands her phone over to Jack.
I have a nasty cold and this has bothered me all afternoon - anything just to dislodge an idea so I continue would be wonderul. It is an electronic device of some description (technology about contemporary to our own but can be a little before or after). She's an assassin (in my world it is a clan/race) but they need to prove both that and the fact she has been selling drugs that were stolen from a lab in another country.
He stands up, salutes me. ‘Your Majesty.’ Whatever else goes on between Jack and myself in private he manages to be professional at all times when we are in public. He walks over to Lady Lydia and hands her the warrant. ‘Ma’am, if you tell us were your children are we can either make sure they stay there or take them back to the palace. Hand me your mobile phone.’
‘I don’t have one.’ She glares at me.
My eyebrows rise in Qing’s direction. ‘That, true?’
‘Left jacket pocket.’ He nods. ‘I can hear the drone from it. There is another electronic device in her umm… ‘ The teenage boy blushes and points to his chest and coughs. ‘Bra.’..
‘Don’t suppose you sniff out drugs can you?’ I grin at him.
‘I’m an assassin not a dog.’ He is indignant.
Jack places his hand on Lady Lydia’s arm and insists she rises to her feet. ‘Lady Lydia, unless you want a strip search I demand you hand me both your mobile phone and the other device.’ He tugged at the neck of her dress.
She sniffs and sucks in her lips in a manner that makes me consider Galileo. (is a cat) ‘He’s lying.’ Her head nods towards Qing. ‘How can you take the word of a convict against the widow of a prince?’
‘I’m not taking his word for it.’ I move to stand right in front of her, making full use of my entire six-feet eleven inches. ‘As my Chief-Captain says he’s quite happy to remove that pretty outfit to find out which one of you is telling the truth.’ Pointing back in the direction of Qing I wink at him. ‘Not to mention he is the son of a princess. Technically he outranks you in society.’
Jack fingers the collar of her dress and whispers something in her ear.
Her expression manages to sour further and she sniffs. ‘Your fathers wouldn’t approve of you treating me that way.’ She goes into her pocket and hands her phone over to Jack.
I'm only part the way in.
