Jumping through time, sort of.

[David Evil Overlord]

No, it's not time travel. Not this time.

My super hero novel I, Singularity has a new opening bunch of chapters detailing her first week as a super hero. There is at least one scene for each day, sometimes two or more (current chapter headings include the imaginative "Friday Night" for example -- planning to change that, but for now it helps me keep track).

So, seventy seven pages of daily updates. Then, I'm planning to jump forward about three weeks. By then, her cast will be off, her broken fingers healed, and a rather auspicious date for the appearance of a new super villain will occur.

The problem I have is this -- as a reader, would you feel cheated if a book started out with each day lovingly detailed, and then suddenly three weeks disappeared in a puff of smoke?

 

[Juliana]

It might seem a little odd...

Maybe you could use some sort of time ploy, like having each chapter start with a short diary entry. Then have a page or two of "Day X - blank" to show she sort of gave up recording time and it flew by. (Haven't read your work so have no idea if this sort of thing fits in).

 

[Ursa major]

The problem I have is this -- as a reader, would you feel cheated if a book started out with each day lovingly detailed, and then suddenly three weeks disappeared in a puff of smoke?

Not as disappointed as I would be if I had to read through 231 pages (77 pages per week) of inconsequential happenings.

There are a number of ways you could approach this. Have that first week contained in its own section of the book, for instance: a title of 'Protecting the Weak' might not be best for this, but I couldn't resist the pun.

(Oh, and you probably shouldn't use just the days of the week as general chapter titles, as there are only seven of them.)

 

[jastius]

i'm with ursa on this; diaries are like salt - a little goes a long way.
maybe she could lose the thing under the couch or on a bus or whereever it turned out that monsterchic's copybook took off to. then have it show again three weeks later...( and ouch, david, do you have to break her bones? i have been in three major car crashes and fallen twenty five feet and fifty feet and haven't broken anything yet, but i've dislocated everything you can think of.... for gosh sake give her some milk to drink david!!)

 

[David Evil Overlord]

Ursa Major, punslinger.

I'm thinking that the first 77-odd pages will be a separate section. Just not sure if anything worth writing about will happen in those three weeks.

Having her super hero alter ego drop out of sight for three weeks works perfectly for a little confusion I'm sowing in the ranks of the other super heroes of this world.

But her secret identity self will still exist for those three missing weeks.

The main action, however, will be the party that has to happen in three weeks time, and the gatecrasher...

Jastius, super heroing is a very dangerous job, and no hero should save the day without cost or any injuries at all (unless they are supposed to be Superman, and even he has his kryptonite).

 

[Chel]

If it would bore you to write it, it's likely it would bore the readers to read it.
If there's nothing going on during those weeks that moves the plot forward, it probably shouldn't be described in detail.

But of course, the readers need to be made aware of the time that has passed. A couple of ideas come to mind: Seasons change while your superhero gets more and more annoyed at not being able to do anything? Here in Southern Finland, if I had been forced to sit inside the last couple of weeks and the next, I'd miss the snow melting and the air outside finally getting (slightly) warm(er) for real.
Your superhero could read the news, wishing she was able to be out there fighting crime - she could even pester the police with anonymous tips in her frustration.

Yeah, having written all that, I realise that I might actually feel a little cheated if there was no mention at all of what she has been doing while healing up. If she's only been sleeping and eating, I'd still want to know even that, just so I'd know I didn't miss anything important.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

No, I'd be fine with it, I'm doing something similar myself.

 

[Glitch]

The problem I have is this -- as a reader, would you feel cheated if a book started out with each day lovingly detailed, and then suddenly three weeks disappeared in a puff of smoke?

Does each day have to be so lovingly detailed? Could you leave small chunks of time out during this first section as to not disorient the reader when you do it over a bigger chunk?

 

[BetaWolf]

Aye, my characters are on a spaceship right now going between asteroids. There's a lot of waiting for the orbits to line up (even with good planning), so they have to pass the time, and I have to show time passing. I thought of doing a diary system between sections--heck if it's good enough for Gene Roddenberry . . .

 

[Glitch]

and I have to show time passing.

But do you have to show time passing? Could you skip the time with a chapter break? Unless of course you have other plot lines to include.

 

[David Evil Overlord]

Does each day have to be so lovingly detailed? Could you leave small chunks of time out during this first section as to not disorient the reader when you do it over a bigger chunk?

The first day is her discovery that she has super powers. The rest of the time, she's trying to learn how to use them without revealing her secret identity to everyone in the neighbourhood. I think her day-to-day progress does need to be detailed. Up until her first super hero/super villain battle, anyway.

Probably the only things she really needs to do over those three weeks are:

Come to terms with all the death and destruction she's just witnessed, since the super villain was the kind who enjoys killing innocent bystanders. She's made a start on that by the end of the first section of the book.

Let her fingers heal. For that, she needs time. And no heavy lifting.

Make up with her boyfriend. Last time the reader saw him, they were arguing. And since he's the one who will be having the party...

Make up with her best friend. Last time the reader saw her, they were arguing. They were also both very drunk, so how much each of them remembers about that day is questionable.

So, while there are some things she could do, I don't think we need daily updates. I could probably solve half her problems* in a page or two. Which might just be what I'll do.

*That doesn't mean the solutions will be any kinder than the problems. Bwahahahahaha!!!

 

[jastius]

Ursa Major, punslinger.



Jastius, super heroing is a very dangerous job, and no hero should save the day without cost or any injuries at all (unless they are supposed to be Superman, and even he has his kryptonite).

not saying that david.. but it just doesn't make sense.
ask any doctor what is harder to heal, bones or soft tissue and they will say soft tissue. ask what will go first, bones or soft tissue and they will tell you most get soft tissue injuries before they get broken anything. thats all i was trying to say...(oh, and if you break her nose, she will snore forever... deviated septum.)
if she is weeks in a cast then she will have atrophy. if she doesn't have atrophy because her superpowers from being a superhero prevent it then why would her phalanges break in a simple fingerjam?
and if she is superhealer girl then why isn't she out faster? just doesn't compute
and boyfriends are complete mo's who argue incessantly until they are overcome by one's goddess-like powers at which time they will no longer argue for fear of losing said goddess. No matter what went wrong... its always his fault. Always ... by the time three weeks had passed most chicks would have the 'to let' sign up and be back on the market. he should be bringing her soup, and helping her keep the cast out of the bubblebath and taking the cat out for a walk or whatever, to help her in her time of need way before that.

 

[Vertigo]

Just make it part 1 and part 2. Plenty of books I've read do this with an often big jump between the parts. So long as you make it very clear where you are in time early in Part 2 then your readers should be perfectly happy.

 

[steve12553]

The other thing to do would be to make sure the early part of the story obviously doesn't cover every day. Skip a day or two to indicate to the reader that only the significant events are being shown.

 

[David Evil Overlord]

not saying that david.. but it just doesn't make sense.
ask any doctor what is harder to heal, bones or soft tissue and they will say soft tissue. ask what will go first, bones or soft tissue and they will tell you most get soft tissue injuries before they get broken anything. thats all i was trying to say...(oh, and if you break her nose, she will snore forever... deviated septum.)
if she is weeks in a cast then she will have atrophy. if she doesn't have atrophy because her superpowers from being a superhero prevent it then why would her phalanges break in a simple fingerjam?
and if she is superhealer girl then why isn't she out faster? just doesn't compute
and boyfriends are complete mo's who argue incessantly until they are overcome by one's goddess-like powers at which time they will no longer argue for fear of losing said goddess. No matter what went wrong... its always his fault. Always ... by the time three weeks had passed most chicks would have the 'to let' sign up and be back on the market. he should be bringing her soup, and helping her keep the cast out of the bubblebath and taking the cat out for a walk or whatever, to help her in her time of need way before that.

Okay, lets see if I can deal with all this.

She discovered her powers on Monday. By Friday night, she's faced with her first super villain. The only other hero she knows at this point has only had super powers for two weeks.

So, no training from more experienced heroes, and very little time to figure out what her powers can do. And no training in how to throw a super powered punch (unless you count what she did to her long-suffering clock radio one morning).

And although she's stronger and tougher than your average person (but not fast healing), she's just punched a hero whose powers include Superman-style invulnerability. I broke one of my own fingers playing basketball many years ago, and I figure Superman's jaw is a little bit tougher than a speeding basketball.

As for snoring -- the very first scene of the book, I imagined her snoring. But I couldn't work out a convincing way to portray a first-person POV snorer who probably denies she snores, anyway.

"It's all his fault". I know enough about women to know this is true

They will make up, and in less than three weeks. He has a bigger part (Mouse! ) to play in the story than love-interest-for-one-week. And he does feel bad about what happened, and fighting with her when she's hurt. Didn't help that she was still doped up on painkillers, and she's not exactly sure how they started fighting (but she's sure it's his fault).

 

[jastius]

for the first scene you could have the boyfriend sneak out while she is snoring[ ( have a flash back of the whole thing and her sleeping and dreaming of all the events ) so that the start is the finish (almost...)] so that it is told from his point of view for a minute. it might be the only chance he gets to get his version in...
( but don't forget the bubblebath... mustn't disappoint mouse, now)

 

[David Evil Overlord]

Bubblebaths are good. I also have a scene planned that should keep Mouse happy.

 

[jastius]

And david... girls don't really punch. unless they have kickboxing training or something it is just not a natural response for a female as it is for a male. and they are taught not to go for the bony prominences but for high strike soft tissue. throat, knee, groin solar plexis.instep. nose. eyes. actually doing a palm stab against an unbreakable nose would give the injuries you describe. [open hand- base of thumb and palm drive upwards... usually taught in gym class]
girls usually hit with something. (purse, shoe, broom, mop, rock) my dad was in the army and he always said a rock in a sock is as good as a club. maybe she could hit him with a rock and the rock breaks along with her fingers? that would be fairly supermanish.

 

[David Evil Overlord]

I like the rock idea. I like it a lot.