Diaries and web-speak

[BetaWolf]

What I'm thinking about is emulating web-speak in writing. I started what I think will be the prologue for a novel or maybe a short story in itself. My MC is the only survivor of a bad wave of antibiotic resistant infections.

Not to give too much away, but she is sixteen and seven months pregnant--so she would tend to use things like LOL in her own writing. She befriends a kitten and then she starts having these odd dreams. So I decided to have her keep a diary, which end up being stories within a story.

Now to the (real) question: is it okay to use web-speak (e.g., LOL, ) in the diary entries. A rough example:

July 18, 2023
Took a nap after breakfast on the hammock. Damn tuna and mustard are at it again, LOL. Dreamed I was in a green field with a few trees here and there. I was sitting next to a pond full of clear, warm water, with my feet just skimming the water. I wasn’t pregnant anymore, and I could actually see my feet.

Btw, I am indenting the diary passage (the first one goes on for two or three pages). This might become an issue for e-readers, so I'm not sure whether to just make it a new section or indent.

@springs, I think you were dealing with a similar issue a while back, so any ideas, nice lady?

 

[HoopyFrood]

I kept a journal when I was around that age and even back then I was using LOL, similar internet-based acronyms and even the odd drawn emoticon. I think it would be even more likely now, these things have especially become integrated into the younger generation's communication. I even say LOL at funny things when speaking, despite what the letters actually mean!

 

[BetaWolf]

Thanks, Hoopy, you're full of good advice today. I'll keep working at the diaries. I'm not sure if this story is going anywhere, but it does help mix things up a bit.

 

[hopewrites]

As long as its true to character. Not all kids use l337 in their online communications, and each l337 speaker tends to tailor it to their own personal "voice"

Personally I think its a text-only answer to intonation and jargonization of language that all people do anyway when speaking to eachother.

If I was reading it n a modern or post modern fiction I wouldn't think anymore about it than the use of dialects in Emily Bronte or Dickons or Jane Austen.

 

[EloiseA]

When I read certain blogs and tumblrs, I'm reading what 'diaries' have morphed into and I like the idea of someone texting quick spontaneous entries with abbreviations and LoLs or emoticons, graphics, hyperlinks, quotes. That is how I imagine a 16-year-old single mother-to-be would express herself. Especially if she was alone in a dystopian world with nobody to talk with.

At the same time, Betawolf, the quality of the writing and insight needs to be as sharp and compelling as readers would expect from a more conventional text -- if not I'd find the SMS-style short cuts irritating. As with dialect, you want to be immersed and caught up in the story and not just distracted by the funny-sounding accents.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

I think it's okay to use - and I think I've seen it done in some stuff, where letters or emissives are used to frame the story.

Off the top of head, some that do it/something similar and might be worth a look at:

Ender's Game uses a framework of letters from Graff, e-articles by Demosthenes and Locke as an integral part of the story, and manages to give each of them their own voice - which is, I think, the main thing.

Now that coffee is seeping into my brain, I do remember commenting on a thread like this before, and I think I mentioned looking outside the genre for where it gets used as well --

Bridget Jones' diary uses diary entries to great effect (and is quite funny)
Ps i love you used letters to frame the plot (would suggest a skim read of that, it's not great)

You're just updating that convention with modern speak. I like it.

And you called me a nice lady thankyou, lovely wolf.

 

[BetaWolf]

Thanks for the comments.

@hopewrites: I was never too comfortable with dialect--my first workshop instructor was heavily against it, which was probably an influence--but I thought this would be a way to help give my MC Lizzie her own voice. In the first draft of the first diary entry--about three pages--I have three LOL's and two emoticons, so I don't think I'm being excessive here.

@EloiseA: Thank you for the thoughtful comment. So true. I am using the shortcuts here for poignant moments, like when she is being sarcastic or ironic. I've seen some rather bad uses of dialect, so I'm being careful here.

@springs: Those are some good books for me to look at again. I want to give it a modern edge, but not have it feel too *trendy*.

And you called me a nice lady thankyou, lovely wolf.

You're welcome. It's good to observe the niceties from time to time.

 

[Vertigo]

One thing to be aware of is that sort of word use is likely to sound and feel dated very very quickly as web slang is likely to (and indeed has in the past) evolve more rapidly than everyday speech.

 

[Ursa major]

One thing to be aware of is that sort of word use is likely to sound and feel dated very very quickly as web slang is likely to (and indeed has in the past) evolve more rapidly than everyday speech.

On the other hand, diary entries tend to be very date specific (obviously), so as long as the slang is appropriate to the date, it should be fine.

 

[Glitch]

SMS type talk has disappeared from people I know. Probably due to smart phones having better text input. Or that we've grown out of it.

As a diary entry in a book, I'd probably be ok with it for short passages. For longer passages of text it would put me off.

 

[prizzley]

It would drive me mad, but then I'm a Luddite.

 

[BetaWolf]

Thanks for the input, guys. I'm surprised that no one has written a YA entirely in that lingo, but then again maybe someone has.

The way I was writing with it yesterday, it was mostly to punctuate bits of dry humor.

 

[chrispenycate]

The important, IMNSHO (in my not so humble opinion) is that any critical information remain, for a considerable period of time, immediately accessible and not require consultation of a glossary. So, how fast is text speak evolving? Certain contractions seem to last fairly well, such as your LOL. Others, the more complicated usually, seem to drift out of fashion, or become clique recognition symbols, and how could someone work out what ROFLMAO signified if it were no longer a standard expression?

Which means that for the book to have staying power either the information carried in abbreviations should be unimportant to the flow of information (almost padding there) or the meaning should be obvious from context, clockwork orange style.

Obviously, I am not part of its target audience, but that's an irrelevancy.

 

[hopewrites]

Chris,as I understand your point in the context of wolfs question, a use of l337 (that's the name of the dialect) as a punctuation supplement is perfectly permsible.

.= that thought is complete
?= quarry, lack of confidence in the truthfulness or validity of preceding statement
Lol= acknowledgment that humor is intended
IMO =disclaimer, opinion being expressed
imnsho =argue at your own peril, I'm confident my opinion is correct.
Rofl= that was funnier than intended
"(Words)" =someones exact phrasing
Ect.

That being the case I'm more than inclined to agree with you. Imnsho its an underused tool of communication oft over looked. I still know a fee people who resist it because its not the language they grew up with. But these are the same people who resist all change with curmudgeonness. Lol

 

[steve12553]

Going back to your original passage, the only slang abbreviation you use is "LOL". Your passage is dated 10 years into the future. Realistically, ten years from now the devices being carried will be one of two things: either something with very sophisticated vocal recognition requiring no abbreviations or pencil and paper because society failed and we've slipped halfway back to the Stone Age. And to be honest, I don't want to hear about a character that vocalizes "LOL", do you? My phones don't really require me to type but rather will allow me to speak into them and do the typing for me. Ten years from now you might just be able to think into them.

 

[BetaWolf]

Thanks for the insightful comment, Steve.

The MC is working without electricity--a war is on and the power grid is down, so it would be the latter case. She is keeping a pen and paper diary and that is where the LOL's and such would come in--not in the general narration, which is close third person.

She has been scavenging to get by and subsists on canned food, etc. Would a teenager in that situation, say a decade from now use abbreviations in writing a diary? Would readers in our time and the near future accept this kind of writing in a fictional piece?

There is advanced technology like you suggest will soon exist, but she doesn't have access to it (well, not yet in chapter one). Most people have fled her area, but she has decided to dig in where she thinks her family will come looking for her. Not that I'm saying that's the wisest thing she could do.

So in the end, it's not that essential to the story; it would add some color to the writing, maybe. The diary scenes are important, however, and I want to make them as accessible to my readers as I can.

 

[bluenimbus]

for myself i find i ten to be far more formal in writing than when i speak, especially when keeping a diary. i have not read all the other comments, so apologies if this has been pointed out, but it all depends on the social background of your MC. if you have read 'clockwork orange', the language use is very distinctive, and at first almost incomprehensible, but it works. reading your passage aware that you would be including the lol and i was still somehow surprised when i read them in context, i'm not sure whether i liked it or not, they seemed out of place but then there is not much written in this style so it's hardly surprising. who knows, you may start a trend

Btw i know there is a book written entirely in text messages, don't know the title, but it was aimed at YA, trying to appeal to teen readers in a more familiar lingo.

 

[BetaWolf]

Thanks, bluenimbus. I'm not seeing this character really using too much informal language, now that I've written a few more scenes for her. She's the quiet, contemplative type, from a farming background, into nature.

Basically I was trying to test the waters with this thread.

 

[hopewrites]

my diary at 16 had stories and full illustrations as well as extreme emotional rants. the entries were (and still are) wildly sporadic. I never write unless I have something "especially important" to say.
Dreams, escapades, crushes, heart breaks, achievements and massive failures.

I've since burnt them so I cant give you any examples. but if I had been immersed in web culture at the time, then yes I would have used the idioms and expressions of that culture.

Thing of it this way, a characters journal is more them than anything else they do or say.

If its appropriate to put it in then do so.

 

[BetaWolf]

Thanks, hw. It's been a frustrating thing to write so far, but I got some headway in this evening. I think I'll take your advice to heart and see what develops.