Head-Hopping

[Tecdavid]

I'm just keen to hear everyone's take on it. Is a rapidly-switching PoV a disengaging, irritating thing, or is it quite beneficial to a story if handled well? If a scene switched between PoVs with every third or fourth paragraph, would you consider it an example of bad writing?

And if it can be done well, how, exactly, would you say it's done well?

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

This is very hard to do. One way I can imagine it working is to have your story divided up into several small sections divided by space breaks to warn the reader that some kind of change is happening. Switching point of view even between paragraphs with no space breaks can be confusing, and I would not suggest doing it within a paragraph. (I suppose if the whole story is about shifting points of view -- somebody's mind getting invaded by an alien life form, for example -- you might be able to get away with it.)

I suppose a story which relates an event that has great effects on many different kinds of people -- like a disaster movie, for example -- could benefit from frequent changes in the point of view. A smaller, more intimate story, with fewer important characters, probably would not.

 

[TheDustyZebra]

I don't consider it "head-hopping" if it's in different paragraphs, really. I tend to write in what I think of as omniscient, so having different people's thoughts in succeeding paragraphs is perfectly normal.

It's when a section is mostly in one person's POV and suddenly there's someone else's thoughts in the middle that makes it head-hopping. If a paragraph starts in one person's head and ends in another, or wanders in and out, that's bad.

 

[Tecdavid]

It's when a section is mostly in one person's POV and suddenly there's someone else's thoughts in the middle that makes it head-hopping. If a paragraph starts in one person's head and ends in another, or wanders in and out, that's bad.

Ahh. Well, that's easy to understand. I think I've heard a few people attribute the term Head-Hopping to PoV switches across a short selection of paragraphs, too, though. As Victoria says, that might be because it can still seem muddled and frantic, to some, if not set out correctly?

 

[crystal haven]

I mostly write in first person, so I'm not brilliant with this, but I think it can depend on how close pov it is. If a reader is in one head, and suddenly finds themselves in another, that's when it can be disorientating.

I try to have a character walk across the room or something, taking the reader with them before switching pov, to give the reader a chance to move from the first character.

 

[BetaWolf]

Frank Herbert and Michael Moorcock come to mind as successful head-hoppers. Moorcock tended towards 3rd person omniscient at times and zoomed in and out as need be. In neither case did I either consciously notice the shift or get jarred in the brainpan.

I tend towards first person/close third person, with at least section breaks between POV shifts: Timothy Zahn influenced me that way (but like Herbert section breaks were closer to cinematic scene breaks).

Post a good example of your own in critiques, Tecdavid, and I'll be happy to comment as I can.

 

[thaddeus6th]

I think this is tricky to answer. In my first book I had many PoVs. A few were major but I also gave minor characters cameo PoVs. My reasoning was that the book should follow the story, and if that meant leaving the protagonist and seeing what a lieutenant in the Watch was doing then that was fine.

In Journey to Altmortis (second book) I still had a fair number of PoVs, but few minor ones and as most of the story involved a party travelling together there was less distance between the experience of each PoV, so changing them wasn't as divergent (or disjointed, if you like) as in the first book.

It's too early to say how that's gone down, as I only released the latter earlier this month.

As a reader, I think the only time PoVs may have been an issue for me was in the later A Song of Ice and Fire books. A Dance With Dragons seemed fine in this regard, but I have vague memories of being irked with both the number of PoV characters and their nature (ie none of them were Tyrion) in A Feast For Crows.

I'm pretty relaxed about third or first person, omniscient or, er, narrow (?), many PoVs or just one. Like a Lib Dem in the bedroom, I'll go along with just about anything.

 

[Brian G Turner]

My concern with omniscient is that I think people are tempted to write it, because they think they are writing a film, not a story.

When you look at omniscient done really well, ie, Dune, omniscient is used to juxtapose characters in conflict and therefore drive tension - ie, Paul, Jessica, and Yueh early on. At no point does Frank Herbert use omniscient like a film - the invasion of Arrakis by the Harkonnens is one of the most dramatic pieces in the book, and yet you never see any of it.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

I think, actually, sff don't do omnipresent as well as mainstream genres do, which is partly the strong trend to close 3rd.

TecDavid, I think reading some books that do it very well is key. Captain Corelli's Mandolin does shifting third with absolute ease and grace. I'd love to be able to do something like that, but I have nowhere near the skill needed for it. And I think gracefulness is the key -- if it's forced it feels like headhopping. If you want an example of an incredibly bad example to look at (imho, she is a times bestselling novelist, so it's obviously not holding her back) Sherilyn Kenyon's Born of Shadow was full of it and it wasn't graceful...

 

[allmywires]

Captain Corelli's Mandolin does shifting third with absolute ease and grace.

I was going to say this but of course springs beat me to it

I'm not sure I can think of any others off the top of my head but I would suggest reading around it. I think some of the more 'literary' stuff out there plays a bit fast and loose with what we'd call conventions so maybe start looking there?

 

[Tecdavid]

I might look some of these suggested authors up, then. What makes it worrying at the moment is that it's tough to tell whether any WiP of mine has done it fluidly enough (I know what's going on, and who's eyes we're seeing things through, but a reader might not. ), so I might take you up on your offer, BetaWolf.
I suppose head-hopping can be the result of an author trying hard to avoid omnipresence, while also trying to convey every character's thoughts and feelings all the same?

 

[allmywires]

I suppose head-hopping can be the result of an author trying hard to avoid omnipresence, while also trying to convey every character's thoughts and feelings all the same?

I think so. I used to do it (unconsciously) to show each character's reactions to certain things in a scene. These days I just pick a POV character and roll with it, mainly just cos it's easier on my brain, but you do lose out/run the risk of making your other characters unsympathetic at times (especially if you're trying to write a *nice* character and your others are dicks but you don't explain why!)

As always, you have to find a way that works best for you.

 

[Mouse]

I'm reading Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy at the mo. That head hops, though I can't work out whether it's annoying or okay. I think the writer in me is annoyed, the reader doesn't really care.

 

[The Judge]

Oddly, I didn't notice the head-hopping in THHTGTTG, or rather, I didn't characterise it as such. It has such a strong narrative voice, for me it was as if someone else was telling the story anyway, ie as an external involved narrator, not one of the characters, so it wasn't head-hopping, just the external narrator dropping as God into everyone's thoughts. Perhaps, also, because it is so anarchic and downright daft, I wasn't reading it seriously.

Dune, on the other hand, I found difficult to sink into when I re-read it last year because of the head-hopping, and that was despite having very fond memories of it, and enjoying it for itself.

I do think whether head-hopping works to a large extent depends on whether you like the author/book/style of writing. If you do, then you forgive it and call it omniscient. If you don't, then you call it head-hopping.

Since it is a barrier to some people, though, I'd avoid it if at all possible. Unless it's vital that you change character POV within a scene and there's no other way to show what needs showing, then I'd suggest you don't.

 

[Mouse]

Oddly, I didn't notice the head-hopping in THHTGTTG, or rather, I didn't characterise it as such. It has such a strong narrative voice, for me it was as if someone else was telling the story anyway, ie as an external involved narrator, not one of the characters, so it wasn't head-hopping, just the external narrator dropping as God into everyone's thoughts. Perhaps, also, because it is so anarchic and downright daft, I wasn't reading it seriously.

That's why it doesn't annoy me exactly cos it's just the way it's written. It does feel like it's someone else telling the story, though sometimes I'm thinking stay with one person!

 

[TheDustyZebra]

I've never noticed head-hopping in Hitchhiker's Guide, or as TJ says, perhaps never characterized it as such. I'll have to go look now, thanks a lot!

I'm quite a heretic, I'm afraid, because I've never cared for Dune, either the book or, worse, the movie. Can't say it's because of head-hopping, though, as I don't really recall the reason.

I'm not entirely sure that what I mean by omniscient is the same thing referred to around here -- it's possible that what I write is considered third-person close, or something else. I'll have to read up on the descriptions and make sure.