Thoughts on a simetaphor

[HareBrain]

"Her laughter is like a waterfall of gold coins".

This was in a radio adaptation of Sarah Dunant's Blood and Beauty a couple of days ago. What first struck me is that it's a simile where the comparative is itself a metaphor, a weird combination (or is it that unusual?) that I think should be called a simetaphor. A waterfall of gold coins doesn't exist. In fact, a waterfall of anything apart from water doesn't exist, otherwise it would be a something-else-fall. So why a waterfall of gold coins? And why gold coins? Do they sound any different from other coins?

Anyone who's got lucky on a seaside arcade "penny falls" machine** will know what a fall of coins sounds like. If it sounds like any laugh, it's the laughter amused demons in hell might make in order to further torment the unfortunate inhabitants. And gold coins would not, most likely, sound any different. So why would an author want to compare someone's laughter to a horrid rushing tinkling and jangling sound?

This, I think, is where the waterfall and the gold comes in. People like waterfalls; they're pretty. People like gold for the same reason, and because it makes you rich, and the same applies to coins (well, gold ones at least). Compare the effect of: "Her laughter is like a load of tarnished farthings slithering off a cliff", which in reality would sound exactly the same.

I think the simetaphor *appears* to be suggesting the sound of the laughter, and that's how most readers would unquestioningly take it, but it *actually* relies on using associations to conjure only its feel, i.e. prettiness and desirability. But is this clever writing, or a shoddy simile? And does anyone but me care? Do I even care? That's the real question here.


** stop that smutty giggling.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

I stopped giggling. I quite like it. I see it as a sense of it being drawn out and generous. I don't think it's shoddy writing, I think it's someone who's finally found something just perfect for what they wanted.

 

[Phyrebrat]

I agree with your thoughts HB and altho it sounds quite nice, it makes me feel like it's a bit up-your-own-****-y (the author, not you )

Waterfalls are good for imagery though, whether used in this way or not. In fact I used one in Mouse's sekrit santa story. But that was to do with the energy of a gushing waterfall draining away in that the MC was experiencing a soothing rush in his spine.

They're effective but I think we have to be careful in how we implement them for fear of them becoming clichéd.

I used to love those penny falls slot machines. My Gran and I used to spend hours on them. Your comparision to someone laughing like the payout on one of those things made me laugh like a storm drain (did you see what I did there! )

pH

 

[The Judge]

I wouldn't call it shoddy exactly, but I don't think it's particularly well thought out, and it would have annoyed me no end had I heard it.

What she means, I imagine, is it's a pleasant tinkling sound, not a jangling clatter which is what I associate with coins falling -- and a waterfall of them would be worse, because that would be continuous and the higher and broader the fall, the noisier it gets. Having said that, never a gold coin has passed under my fingers so for all I know the sound they make is like a glorious ringing purl of laughter.

 

[chrispenycate]

If there is a "like" in there it's a simile. And a metaphor is not necessarily something imaginary; if I observed "her laugh was a torrent of silver bells", it'd not only be a metaphor, but something I have actually observed (at a dance school where one of the little wretches managed to tip a box of accessories down the stairs at great risk to life and limb) and so could do a realistic comparison with, as well as disposing of the rather splashy white noise roar of an actual waterfall, and the jackpot rattle when you tickle her under her (presumably unique) armpit.

Yes, different metals do sound different; though I've never a cascade of gold onto a pile of coins (a much closer situation than them rattling through the metallic guts of a machine) I can certify the difference between brass and silver (or again cupro-nickel, of which modern "silver" coinage is constituted). I cannot, however, truthfully say I've ever heard a laugh which could be compared to any of them, even by a severely enamoured swain.

 

[Tywin]

Am I off-base in thinking that there is no metaphor involved in the example? I think this is just a simile. A waterfall of gold coins may be imaginary, but I don't think it's a metaphor as presented.

"Her laughter is a waterfall of gold coins." would be a metaphor. Just as "Her laughter is a waterfall." would be a (poor) metaphor even though it is not refering to something imaginary.

Now, for a "simetaphor"?
"Her laughter was like a waterfall that was a stream of gold coins." errr... or something like that.

 

[Tecdavid]

"Her laughter is like a load of tarnished farthings slithering off a cliff"

I larf'd.

I think this is the danger with metaphors. The image of a waterfall and of gold coins is pretty, because they're both pretty things. Laughter is a pretty thing too (especially the innocent sort), so surely a metaphor packed with prettiness should fit it nicely? But, when actually comparing a waterfall and coins to someone's laugh, I don't think the image is all that pretty at all... Kind of creepy, in fact. I suppose this can happen when an author really just wants to add some artistic imagery to their narrative, but fails to really consider the connection before slapping lovely pictures in there.

 

[HareBrain]

Am I off-base in thinking that there is no metaphor involved in the example? I think this is just a simile. A waterfall of gold coins may be imaginary, but I don't think it's a metaphor as presented.

Look, stop trying to scupper my efforts to get a word I invented into the OED.

You're probably right. Your final example is a better one -- and let's hope nothing like that ever gets into a published book.

 

[Tywin]

Look, stop trying to scupper my efforts to get a word I invented into the OED.

You're probably right. Your final example is a better one -- and let's hope nothing like that ever gets into a published book.

Lol, no I think you're right and there is such a thing. Maybe even not always so awkward either.

"Her touch was like silk that was an electric shock."

Is that better? (this could be a fun game I think, actually)

 

[Tywin]

I have also just entered "scupper" into my list of words that I need to introduce into my Midwestern American dialect.

 

[HareBrain]

"Her touch was like silk that was an electric shock."

Is that better?

Maybe it's the fifth cup of decaff talking, but I actually quite like that!

 

[Glitch]

To me, the author is conveying the imagery of the waterfall and gold coins, rather than the sound. People like waterfalls (assuming it's not coming through your front door), and gold is associated with wealth. Both together might conjure a smile from the reader, which is what I'm assuming the author intended.

As for cleaver or shoddy. Overuse might move it into the realm of shoddy, but light use could be classed as cleaver ?

 

[Mouse]

I'm not a massive fan when they're all fancy pants like this. Just say her had a nice laugh and be done with it.

Her laugh sounded like a buttercup dancing under the chin of a virgin unicorn. *puke*

 

[Glisterspeck]

To me, the author is conveying the imagery of the waterfall and gold coins, rather than the sound. People like waterfalls (assuming it's not coming through your front door), and gold is associated with wealth. Both together might conjure a smile from the reader, which is what I'm assuming the author intended.

I'd think the same, that the author has pulled a sensory bait and switch: set it up to be about sound but delivered through the visual.

Worse than the penny falls, how about the rows of slots in a casino, with always a jackpot clattering about in one of them. That's how I'd imagine the sound described. Yuck.

 

[anivid]

Eeh - I once saw/heard a waterfall with gold apples - or was it a fountain?
- yes I think so, because the apples didn't fall anywhere but were carried up by the water - which on the other hand was falling - before rising - and falling again - da capo ad libitum
The sound ?? - of falling water, which actually is a rather noisy one

 

[Tywin]

Her laugh sounded like a buttercup dancing under the chin of a virgin unicorn. *puke*

The Chrons need a 'like' button already.

 

[Teresa Edgerton]

I like ornate prose. Occasionally, I have been told that my own prose edges toward the purple end of the spectrum.

But that sentence goes too far for me. I can see why others might like it, but to me it looks like the writer was showing-off, rather than reaching for the most apt figure of speech*.

_____

*Note how I have managed to include both simile and metaphor -- with a nod to personification -- without inventing new words. Though I actually like "simetaphor" and am probably showing off, too.

 

[Ursa major]

"Her laughter is like a waterfall of gold coins".

As someone (Glitch) has already suggested, no explicit mention of the sound was made, so it might be referring to a visual similarity.

So what I'm now imagining is a mouth full of gold teeth, all of which are in the process of falling out.

It's all rather unpleasant, really.

 

[Mirannan]

"Cataract of gold coins" might read/sound better. The literal meaning is pretty well the same, but the word "cataract" is fairly well established as a workhorse word for use in simile.

 

[TheDustyZebra]

Hmm... I guess I'm in the minority here, which doesn't necessarily surprise me!

I like the "waterfall of gold coins" ...errr... "simetaphor". I like "simetaphor", too, and wish you luck on the OED.

Yes, gold coins make a different noise than other coins -- that's why shopkeepers used to drop them on the counter to see if they were gold or not -- they have a "ring" to them that other metals do not. So I would assume that a waterfall of them would have a pleasant ringing sound, which works for me as a comparison for laughter.

It's also possible that the author was thinking of the sparkling of light off the waterfall of gold coins, rather than the sound, and in that case it seems to me that gold would be more sparkly than many other things.

Works for me.

Note, I would be happy to test the waterfall of gold coins theory for anyone who cares to send me enough to experiment with. For the good of science and the furthering of our writerly efforts, of course.