The Revision Process . . .

[Christopher Lee]

So, I'm making a thread on the fun part of the job: re-writing your work.

What needs to happen is this: Everyone post one question that you ask yourself during the process of reading over your work and writing the second draft.

Just one question. Only one. Hopefully, this will aid other members who feel as though an anvil has been tied to their ankles, and it's just dragging them deeper and deeper into the black, mysterious abyss that is Re-Write. When I first started rewriting my old first drafts, it was daunting. I read all the books, listening to what they had to offer. But in the beginning, it was difficult and a little intimidating.

So, everyone give me one question that you pose to yourself during a rewrite. Together, we should cover all the bases, and hopefully even the more seasoned of us will discover one or three that we were not asking ourselves before.

If it's going to break your little scribbler's heart, then feel free to add one additional piece of advice along with your one question that you ask yourself.

Ready; Set; Go!!

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

Question one: What words can I remove without changing what I am saying in any meaningful way?

There are several examples.

"She felt the rain soak her tennis shoes" can be changed to "The rain soaked her tennis shoes" without losing anything, and the sentence is more direct.

"I'm in big trouble, she thought" can be changed to "I'm in big trouble" in the same way.

"She opened the door and then she yelled for help" can be changed to "She opened the door and yelled for help."

 

[The Judge]

I'm in two minds whether this is a Workshop issue, or a plain GWD one, Grizzgreen, so if this thread miraculously disappears from the one forum and appears in the other, you'll know why.

Anyhow, since Victoria has pinched my first idea, the one question I'll add is "Why?" (though in fact I ask this in the original writing as well, not just in the re-write).

Why is she standing outside the door? (What has she been doing beforehand, which means she is coming back here?)

Why is he reacting as he is? (What things have happened in his past to make him wary/anxious/stressed?)


EDIT: now decided -- and moved to GWD

 

[Jo Zebedee]

What do i intend get from it? Ie better writing, more defined market?

 

[Perpetual Man]

Am I enjoying it?

As someone who finds the editing/redrafting process very, very hard, one of the most important things is am I enjoying it as a reader rather than a writer. If the answer is yes it can help me with the momentum needed to get on with the redrafting.

 

[Boneman]

Have I repeated words in quick succession?

 

[Venusian Broon]

Does what I'm reading matter?

i.e. Have I spent two pages describing in detail the internal workings of a hi-tech security system as part of the action of a charater walking through a door? Is any of it relevent to anything at all in the novel? No?...then get rid of it!

 

[alchemist]

In a similar vein to others, what is the purpose of this scene? Can I get it to work better by having more than one purpose?

(this is an issue with my romance sub-plot. If the scene serves romance alone it can be dull, but if it's romance wrapped in a shell of something else, it seems to flow better)

 

[Brian G Turner]

Question one: What words can I remove without changing what I am saying in any meaningful way?

There are several examples.

"She felt the rain soak her tennis shoes" can be changed to "The rain soaked her tennis shoes" without losing anything, and the sentence is more direct.

"I'm in big trouble, she thought" can be changed to "I'm in big trouble" in the same way.

"She opened the door and then she yelled for help" can be changed to "She opened the door and yelled for help."

Great reply.

Another one I'm using is to look more carefully at character motivations and ensure they have proper emotional development arcs. I'm applying ideas from Save the Cat and The Writers Journey for this.

This also means looking at peripheral characters more deeply - I've just reached a couple of short scene from a peripheral character POV where I've realised it's fine, but it would be better if I read a couple of books on criminal thinking, so that this character can seem fresh and unique.

So making characters more real by looking at how develop and change, how dramatic events have the potential to change them, and determine what they want, internally and externally, and make them as individual as possible.

 

[Susan Boulton]

Where does this stand on the crap-o-metre.

Lot of - delete.

So-so - re-write.

Ok - it can stay for now.

This is not half bad - keep.

 

[johnnyjet]

Does this scene advance the story or is it just filler that adds nothing to the story or character development? (Even if it's a great well written scene, if it does nothing for the story, I have to kill it.) (I just realized this is similar to what a couple others have said. Sorry for the redundancy.)

 

[Christopher Lee]

Great replies so far, guys! And thank you for moving it, Judge. I wasn't sure which one was better.

The question I start with is, "Why did you write this, Chris? What's the underlying reason for its existence? And is the reason something that readers will go along with?"

 

[Bowler1]

Is this entertaining/does it flow - if I'm not enjoying the re-read then there is no reason for the reader to either. Don't be afraid to kill off your words when repeating and waffling, just because you wrote it doesn't make it good.

Second draft? I wish! More like draft 10 or 12 before I start to worry I'm editing too much. I do recommend putting stuff aside for a bit once complete, give yourself distance and reduce the emotional aspect/attachment we all develop for our WIP's.

 

[thaddeus6th]

Is this funny (enough)?

I'm having some new problems trying to mark the first draft of my comedy for improvements (I've gotten better at this for 'serious' writing). The problem is I know all the jokes, and all the punchlines, and it makes assessing the humour, or lack thereof, quite hard (I had the same problem with the very first scene, which was partly why I put it up for critique).

Hopefully, this'll be another area where my expert quartet of beta readers will be able to provide me with a useful external opinion (or four).

 

[Hex]

What questions am I asking/ setting up (in the first half), and have I answered them (by the end)?

 

[MPorter]

Have I used this phrasing before?

A quick word search will tell me if I've "offered with some sympathy" before or how many times did someone say something "in their own defense". It's tricky in longer manuscripts. Each individual instance might fit well within the context and flow properly but cumulatively I think it weakens the story and points to a bit of laziness on my part.

~Mike

 

[sknox]

Does it take me out of the story?

"It" can be anything, from a spelling mistake to a continuity error to characterization or setting.

It "takes me out of the story" when I stop to scribble a correction or a note. I try to make my first serious edit pass (I make small revisions frequently in the course of writing) be one where I read the work aloud. So the taking-out means I stop reading aloud to make the note.

 

[Cathy M.]

Does it flow properly?

Whats another word for... (insert problem word)

And the biggest one I have had hanging about my head,

"Does this make sense?"

 

[Brian G Turner]

Another one I'm pushing on is removing the verb "to be" as a modifier when I can create a stronger standalone verb, ie,

was [verb]ing

to

[verb]ed

He was laughing

to

He laughed.

 

[DomDulley]

What is the purpose of this scene? Would I lose anything critical if I cut it?