Passive Voice - Help Please!

[Sunseal]

Okay... so I've heard a lot about the passive voice but never delved into the idea behind not using it. I understand the idea behind it, as in passive voice is is kind of like "it would be better not to put that on the floor", which is a bit wishy washy, as opposed to "don't put that on the floor."
Am I right there?
Basically guys, I'd just like as much help as possible in order to get a firm understanding of the passive voice so that I avoid using it in my writing.

(PS - I'm sorry if there is already another thread about the passive voice, I had a brief look through and didn't see anything)

 

[Mouse]

Passive:

John was sat on the chair.

Not passive:

John sat on the chair
(Or: John was sitting on the chair).

Also passive - when things are happening but nobody's doing the things. So like... 'A lantern was lit' instead of 'Somebody had lit a lantern.'

Passive is NOT always bad!! I use it when I need it. If the character is in a passive situation, for example, say they've been captured, then you can use passive to get across the helplessness. Erm... so, 'She was struck.' Passive, but feels helpless. Whereas if you made it active 'Jill struck her' it doesn't feel the same.

Hope that makes sense.

Someone'll come along and talk about objects and subjects and what have you, but I never understand all that and found examples finally helped me get my head around it.

Another example: 'He was hit by the car' (passive) compared to 'The car hit him.'

 

[Hex]

Hi Sunseal,

Passive voice is more a way of structuring sentences. So if I'm using active voice (which is generally a good way to do things), I'd say something like:

"Katrina asked the question about passive voice."

In passive voice the sentence would be something more like this:

"The question about passive voice was asked by Katrina."

(I think grammatically, the thing that's the object of an active sentence -- in this case, Katrina -- becomes the subject in a passive sentence).

Sometimes they work fine, but they can make prose feel sort of untidy and a bit muddy. I think this is for a couple of reasons: first, they can be confusing; second, they often read as unnecessarily fussy (so even in the simple examples above, you need three more words in a passive sentence); and, often they're used when people are trying to avoid identifying the object, which is generally annoying and makes me frown, which gives me wrinkles and it's all bad.

 

[Ursa major]

The main problem with the passive voice is that it bleeds involvement and empathy from the narrative.

Active: John picked up the sword.

Passive: The sword was picked up by John.


Apart from making an inanimate object the subject of the sentence, it also diminishes the person who should be the focus, because we can shorten the sentence to:

The sword was picked up
​

because from the point of view of the sword, the important thing is that it has been picked up. As it happens, the passive voice is often used when documenting something like a scientific experiment. And it is used there precisely because the "who is doing it" is of no consequence: the experiment succeeds or fails because of what is being done, not who is doing it (as the whole point is that a successful experiment should be repeatable, by anyone with access to the same materials).

But to the reader of fiction, John, not the sword, is the focus of the story (or, at least, this part of it) and the reader is following what he does, how he does it and to what purpose. Besides, if someone else picks up the sword, that might change the story completely.


(Note: if you want to remove (some of) the relevence of an action -- i.e. you don't want to draw undue attention to some action or other -- then the passive voice can help. So if, at the end of something important, people are collecting stuff and you write

...while the sword was picked up by John.
​

the reader may not see it as important at that time. In this way, you can be honest - you've said who has the sword - without fully revealing all that is going on.)

 

[chrispenycate]

In passive voice, the subject of a sentence has something done to it, rather than doing something. Thus 'the object was put on the floor', as against the active 'I put the object on the floor' (Or 'I was pushed against the wall by the tempest' as against 'The tempest pushed me against the wall').

It is generally a weaker form, and should be used sparingly – but that doesn't mean never. In some cases the very imprecision is what you were after; "I swung round the corner and was flung against a wall," (active-passive) doesn't specify what force, or entity, threw you against the wall, as presumably you weren't aware of what it was. In these cases, where only the result can be recognised passive is almost inescapable. And in a "He had been soaked by the rain, burnt by sun and wind, bitten by insects and weakened by exhaustion and hunger," situation, where it would be very easy to convert to active mood, it is the 'he' that is the important factor, and he is acted upon, is not responsible for the actions, he undergoes the experience passively, the root of the concept.

 

[Beef]

I think active voice should be the default, since it obviously sounds a lot better, but there are a few instances where the passive voice is preferable, since it allows you to omit the subject of the sentence (or is it the object? I can never remember the technical names for these things)

To better explain, examples:

Active

The town planning association arranged the town in a grid.

An anonymous enemy soldier injured Phil Mitchell in battle.

Earlier today, my dog, who is really quite terrifyingly big and scary and was about to undergo anger management training, bit my local postman.

God constructed the universe in such a way that nothing can exceed the speed of light.

Passive

The town was arranged in a grid (by the town planning association, but who cares?)

Phil Mitchell was injured in battle (by someone, but, again, we don't know who, and it isn't really important anyway.)

Earlier today, my local postman was bitten by my dog, who is really quite terrifyingly big and scary and was about to undergo anger management training. (sometimes it's better to put the modifiers at the end of the sentence, so that the reader understands both parties involved that much faster)

The universe is constructed in such a way that nothing can exceed the speed of light. (here the PV allows you to avoid a religious conversation, since you're really interested in a scientific one.)



Hope that's at least slightly helpful!

 

[Sunseal]

Ah, you guys are epic, I understand the workings behind the passive voice so much better now. I think I had the right idea in the first place but your comments have all helped to solidify and further my understanding. If someone asked me what the 'passive voice' is now, I could answer them and I'm sure it will better my writing.

Thanks!

 

[Erin99]

Passive:

John was sat on the chair.

Not passive:

John sat on the chair
(Or: John was sitting on the chair).

Psss! Mouse, those aren't passive.

It's just present continuous tense. And avoid "was sat" - "was sitting" is the grammatical way in narration, unless it's a character speaking or an internal thought.


The problem with advice about passive is that people tell you to watch out for the word "was" (or is, or are, or be, etc), but that's not always correct. In fact, I've seen a lot of people incorrectly labelling present continuous as passive.


(Sorry, I'll leave now... )

 

[Mouse]

Um, yeah, Leisha, I know. Hence me writing NOT passive.

 

[Erin99]

"John was sat on the chair" isn't passive...

 

[Mouse]

Right. According to my grammar checker it is*, but I don't really give a toss. It's not something I would actually write any more (since being told on this site) that it's passive.

I would never ever tell someone to avoid was, or be careful of using was so never fear.

*can take a screen shot if it really bothers you!

 

[Erin99]

Urgh, eventually I switched the grammar checker off, when I used to use Word (Scrivener doesn't have one, so I don't have a choice, now). Useless thing.

I remember the checker pulling me up on "was sat", though - I wrote that a lot in my early work, and JJ pointed out that it wasn't grammatical. Mayhaps turning it to "was sitting" would appease the checker anyway?

But yes, I can definitely confirm that it ISN'T passive. The man is sitting in a chair - that could equally say "The man lounged in a chair", or "The man rested in the chair", which are just as active but are more descriptive.

The man is the agent (or "subject"); the chair is the patient (or "object").

 

[Mouse]

I wouldn't even write 'was sitting.' They were just examples and I did say 'was sitting' wasn't passive.

 

[Erin99]

I write "was/were sitting" quite a bit".

Anyway, since I've probably now confused this thread, I'll duck out. Oops!

I would never ever tell someone to avoid was, or be careful of using was so never fear.

Oh, and that comment about "avoid was" wasn't meant at you. Sorry if it came across as such.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

I don't know about was sitting and what not - my Ulster idioms cause horrors everywhere. All I do know is Mouse absolutely murders my overused passive voice when she betas for me and the sentence always sounds better after.

 

[chrispenycate]

Mouse's first example could be passive if John was sat on the chair by somebody else. Not an ordinary interpretation of the phrase, but possibly what the software believed.

 

[Mouse]

Sorry if it came across as such.

Came across as patronising more than anything.

I don't know about was sitting and what not - my Ulster idioms cause horrors everywhere. All I do know is Mouse absolutely murders my overused passive voice when she betas for me and the sentence always sounds better after.

Cheers, dude. My whole work sounds better after you beta for me.

I say 'was sat' all the time or 'were sat.' I also say 'sat sitting' or 'stood standing.' Don't write it though. Now.

Chrispy: Yep, I saw it on another site where they said that 'was sat' makes it sound as if the person's been plonked there.

 

[Erin99]

No, no! I wasn't directing that at you. I was giving general advice in the thread. Gah!



Anyway, since I'm off-topic... *slumps away*

 

[Brian G Turner]

Came across as patronising more than anything.

I decry "was" an evil word, to be avoided where possible!

He was sitting - weaker
He sat - stronger

We've had this conversation before, though.

 

[Mouse]

He was sitting - weaker
He sat - stronger

This is what I'm trying to say, yes.