Opening Sentence: A Hook Game.

[Perpetual Man]

Following on from a number of other threads that are being batted around at the moment, concerning the hook at the start of a story, and how soon a piece of writing, be it novel, short or other grabs you. I thought of a little game that may or may not work.

I'm going to post two opening lines.

One is from a fully published work by a successful writer.

And a second by myself.

The challenge is three fold:

1. Identify which is mine and which is professional.
2. For the presumed professional identify the book and author. (Only Google as a last resort)
3. (Optional) Do they work in your opinion?

The person who guesses correctly or comes closest after a few guesses gets to set the next one. But can just do a professional one or one of their own or as I have done... it's up to them.

Hopefully by looking at this we can learn about what makes a good opening.

 

[Perpetual Man]

Round One:

Long, long ago, when the earth was a little younger, there came into the world a strange race - human in many respects, but also somehow different.

and

It moved through space blotting out the stars, the black skin pitted with silver lights, the far end a billowing pit of brilliant hell-fire.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

The first is the published, the second is you, I think.

I think the first is a sci fi, and Clarke or Heinlein would come to mind.

 

[Perpetual Man]

I did not think the spotting the writers would be that hard, and you have proved me right springs.

If I were being incredibly sneaky though I could say the second was published as well, albeit a long time ago in a gal... well maybe not that far away.

As to the writer of the first - not going to give too much away but it is not Clarke or Heinlein.

To be fare, thinking about it, it might be a little obscure (I would have hoped not) but it is a book that had a great effect on me.

 

[J Riff]

Okee. )

Five hundred short years ago it had been a planet of harmless monkey-like humans.

The last man on Earth was a vampire.

 

[jastius]

ummm.. arthur c clarke followed by anne rice?

 

[tinkerdan]

Not sure:
I have not read all her works but this sounds like it could be
Zenna Henderson

Round One:

Long, long ago, when the earth was a little younger, there came into the world a strange race - human in many respects, but also somehow different.

.

Did you mean for others to post openings and how many guesses were you looking for for each round and did you mean to have rounds overlap or should we do one round and wait a bit or were you going to input all the data for each round and...

Anyway maybe some guidance here.
Perhaps that's why this one never took off.

Also:: why in the heck did this get punched to the top of the stack of new posts when I went there.

 

[tinkerdan]

By golly I mean to revive this thread


First::
There was no possibility of taking a walk that day.

Second::
I woke up in bed with a man and a cat.

Third::
I forced the door, nice and quiet, with my ever-so -slightly-illegal pulse pistol at the ready.

All published one of them rather new and possibly one of you.

Guess away.

You don't have to be correct. Perhaps after; give a few of your own and we'll leap frog through these with perhaps an eventual reveal if no on can figure them out.

 

[jastius]

1. What Michael Collins said back in the Eagle lander..after Neil and Buzz went for their constitutional..?
2.Words you'll never hear from Hugh Hefner?
3. How Mr Niven really became the head of the SFWA?

 

[tinkerdan]

You almost had me there.
I had to look and see what thread I was reviving by accident.
Naughty naughty shame on you.

I don't think it takes that much to be head of SFWA

I'm not sure you know Hugh that well.

If they did do the constitutional then there would be every reason to take that walk.

 

[Vaz]

Mr Jenkins would be here soon, I stroked and pressed at the smooth synthetic skin on my arm, welcoming the rough feeling of the hidden scales beneath.

It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.

The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel