Game! Random item generator

[Spiegal]

After having a go in a few of the other chain games I thought of a new one!

The rules are simple. Think of an obscure item and then the following poster describes what it is, where it came from and what it does! It could be from SF for example a 'Hypercoil Deioniser' or from Fantasy, 'The Obsidian Mantle'

It can be anything you can think of, no matter how absurd or mundane.

Hopefully this will help to inspire people doing a bit of world building or fluff writing for their own stories

I'll start with one of the examples

The Obsidian Mantle

Forged in the crucible of the earth's core, the obsidian mantle was brought to the surface during an eruption that blasted a hole in what was thought to be a long dead volcano. Months later when the dust cleared, all that remained atop the now extinct summit was a crater many kilometres across. Sitting atop a raised pillar in its centre was the Obsidian mantle. Imbued with the cataclysmic energies at the centre of the planet, it allows the user to summon pillars of fire to explode from the ground or rend the very crust of the planet itself. The wielder truly has the power to bring about their very own apocalypse.

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Hypercoil Deioniser

Have fun!

 

[Boneman]

Hypercoil Deioniser.

With the advent of mobile phones in the 20th and 21st Centuries, and the great plague brought about by electromagnetic induction of superbugs that bred on the phones themselves and are transmitted orally on an in-breath, the need for protection is vital. The new Hypercoil Deinoniser attaches to your phone, is inconspicuous, and offers 100% protection against all known viruses and bacteria, allowing you total confidence to talk to anyone, anytime. Pick yours up now from phones'R'Us. With a lifetime guarantee, and a price of only $200, you can talk as you walk and not drop dead.

Infundibular Endostaple.

 

[chrispenycate]

The hypercoil deioniser is a minor but essential component in the hyperwarp drive field generator. Essential, not in transit, but in contacting matter at the other end.

Any metal, any conductor above absolute zero degrees will be surrounded by a cloud of free electrons, prevented from escaping (most of them) by the positive electrical charge generated in the substrate by their loss. Unfortunately, these bonds do not survive the dimension shift of transit, and the ones in the outer shell are left behind in Einstein space. After four or five transitions (needed for almost any star travel due to the cumulative improbability of position theorem) the vessel is several tens of thousands of volts positive relative to its departure. Inconvenient for a welcoming handshake. Early ships threw conductive cables to the reception station, and waited for the charge to trickle away. The deioniser valve takes care of the problem at root, absorbing the electron cloud into all objects at the instant of dimensional shift.

It simultaneously immobilises all combustion products, specifically tobacco (and other substances ignited by spacemen) smoke, leaving the air squeaky clean.




The orthogonal trajectoriser

 

[Spiegal]

Marketed as a foolproof aid in calculating the flight paths of catapulted goods, the Orthogonal Trajectoriser was a short lived piece of tomfoolery that resulted in the deaths of many users and bystanders.

Mounted onto the Professor Quentin Sharpley's Gravity Busting Trebuchet it resembled a massive brass telescope with an ugly collection of spinning cogs on the far end. The risk of death was unusual in that rather than being caused by the wildly innacurate flinging of projectiles, it was in fact the lethal 'Calculating Cog Matrix' that would claim life and limb. Popular with the upper classes of the Victorian social strata the flowing dresses and pompous smoking jackets of the rich and privileged who used them at their much celebrated 'Flingaroo Fayres' would prove a lethal combination with the perpetually spinning gears.

The phrase "don't lose your head" originated from the death of Hubert Barnalay whom used to become overwhelmed by an infuriated rage whenever he began to catapult objects to the far side of town. As he lined up a shot featuring an ostrich and two lions, his much adored fez, with extra long tassel, became tangled and thanks to the chin strap tore his head clean off.

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Urn of Capitulation

 

[chrispenycate]

In the Beta Capular system most legal disagreements are settled by ritual combat, despite their neighbours attempting to prove to them that this is barbaric and primitive ("It's cheaper than your lawyers, more conclusive than your legal system, and the municipality can sell tickets," being the best known argument to maintain the tradition).

If a combatant who recognises his defeat can bang his head three times against the Urn of Capitulation, the case is decided against him, and he is free to leave. More frequently it became the Urn of Decapulation, with the victor shaking it three times to simulate his opponent's detached head banging from inside.

Generally, even the vanquishers were fairly banged about after the combat, frequently missing limbs and with large tracts of integument detached. A medical tool used for temporary repairs while awaiting regeneration is the Infundibular Endostapler, the endostaples themselves being brilliant and often jewelled to point out the courage and effectiveness of the male involved (those chosen by females are less decorative, guile being more important than muscle in those combats). The fact that a really powerful warrior would not need patching up is generally glossed over.

Wurpling mulch.

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

Infundibular Endostaple.

Medical jargon for a small device implanted in the navel which allowed the wearer to be tracked 24/7 by the International Security Agency. Impossible to removal without very unpleasant, and always fatal, results. First used after the World Court decided in Yossarian v ISA that being found innocent of terrorism was insufficient to allow one to be removed from the "permanent watch" list. Currently installed in 13.7 percent of the world population.

Wurpling mulch.

Famed gardening aid found only in the small village of Wurpling in eastern Wales. Analysis reveals only normal components such as dead leaves, moss, mushrooms, and worm castings. However, regular applications of Wurpling mulch have resulted in strawberries the size of cantaloupes and roses in Scotland in February. Exporting the product outside the UK is forbidden, but a thriving "green market" in the substance has made it more expensive than an equal weight of saffron in the United States and continental Europe. Few take seriously the suggestion by some locals (now millionaires) that "was the wee folk done it."

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"Smart" microceramics

 

[Spiegal]

This has been great so far guys, loving the ideas

"Smart" Microceramics

An offshoot of nano-engineering, Smart ceramics were hailed as one of the most fundamental technologies in reducing the risk of launch and re-entry failures and accidents to almost zero.

Removing the need for thousands of man hours to be spent individually checking each heat tile for microscopic hairline fractures it was now an industry standard for a turnover of 8 hours. 3 hours were spent running diagnostics through the swarm computer of the micro ceramics with the other 5 hours spent doing mandatory human checks and repairs to any problems. After these were complete the spaceplanes could be refuelled and rolled out to the launch catapult.

A layer of ceramic tiles 5m across could carry out over 1.4billion calculations per second distributed over several thousand individual pieces. When interfaced with the spacecraft's navigation and airframe computer the tiles could alter the external surface shape to change aerodynamic properties removing the need for complex flaps, canards and air brakes. This encouraged "softer" designs for vehicles that closely emulated those from nature. The first prototypes were based on the Peregrine Falcon, with swept wings that could flex and shift the whole craft without the need for steep rolls and pitches.

In the event of damage or structural failure, the ceramics could change their properties and shift position to reinforce components or soften an impact. This meant extensive retrofitting of existing space stations and vehicles to protect against orbital debris and micro meteorites that had been the bane of engineers since putting them into the heavily cluttered space around earth and other nearby planets.

The physical strength of the tiles was met with a single weakness. The computing power of the tiles was so great that an alternate means of attack was the use of a computer virus. Named "Wildfire" due to the shocking speed it would spread, the virus locked up the tiles into ugly tumours upon the surface causing ships to break up on reentry and shifting armour away from vulnerable areas such as engines, cockpit and power systems.

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Synth-haem

 

[BenSt]

Synth-haem

Cooked up by the factory workshops of the Alchemists guild, Synth-haem is as the name suggests a synthetic form of devil's-haem, the fiery liquid that when mixed with alcohol causes severe burns. Synth-haem however is not created by distilling dragon-vine mixed into a paste of the very rare Monoceros horn. Synth-haem is instead created using simple elixir of gold dissolved in the tears of vulcan, formed into a paste and scraped into a walnut shell to be toasted in dragon-vine embers. Synth-haem has the added benefit of being entirely colourless, and unlike devil's-haem does not have the foul, putrifying smell reminiscent of a grave. Unlike it's original inspiration though, synth-haem takes longer to affect the intended victim, and it is entirely possible that if the victim becomes aware of the poison might seek medical assistance. Synth-haem's alchemical sigil is of a double headed dog, one head yellow the other white, sat upon a cloud with a thunderbolt emerging.

Lock of Kallenberg

 

[Spiegal]

Racked with Civil war, blighted with famine and rife with plague, the land of Lössiver was on the brink of breaking from the rulers who had dictated it throughout most of its history.
Baron Schlossinger, who spent the majority of the troubles locked in his chambers, had grown increasingly paranoid of wrongdoers seeking to kill him and steal all of his riches. He had murdered almost half of his house servants after accusing them of insurrection, and had his castle's dungeon filled to capacity. He could take the fear no longer and sought the 5 most skilled locksmiths in the kingdom. One by one he tasked them to craft an unbreakable lock and, when the task was done, killed each and every one of them.
Growing more and more erratic with each passing hour he finally secured all of his belongings within. With his material wealth safely stowed away he shattered the 5 keys on his anvil and cast them into the furnace.
With everything he owned secured he chose to make sure his ultimate key to the whereabouts of the stongbox would never be found.
Taking his flintlock to his temple he shot himself in the head, forever securing his massed fortune to all treasure hunters to date.



Nano-Leech

 

[jastius]

the blue cobalt rays criss-crossed over the nano leech enclosure on the third level of the duranium mine of the asteroid. the tiny glowing filaments under their sliding skin lit up each time their busy teeth reached another hot pocket of rocket juice. Chester adjusted the polarity on the molecular sieve and watched another production vile fill up.. it was hard to believe that just one of the tubes could drop you into a hyperdrive flight that would lift you from the oort cloud to proxima centauri 4.243 light years in fifteen days...
the lash of the electron whip hit chester, with a fearful crack and shower of sparks, shocking chester out of his musings."back to work ape creature!" grated the giant slime leech that led his work party.. chester quickly filled his arms with the canisters and joined the long line of indentured workers loading the grarlock's shuttle. Yes mankind had reached the stars.. as the dogsbody of the galaxy.

tetrazine web

 

[Spiegal]

Ana gritted her teeth as the fugitive gained distance on her. Had it not been for the previous engagement with the gunship she might have kept pace, alas, the glass shards peppering her thighs and an ache feeling suspiciously like a fracture were slowing her down. Another wave of lightheadedness washed over her as the auto injector spewed a numbing cocktail into her veins. Not exactly what she needed right now.

With capture now seeming impossible, she depressed a control on her weapon gauntlet and aimed down the sights. Squeezing her fist she triggered the weapon. A hollow bang sounded as bundle of fine mesh leapt forth in a high arc. As it approached the sprinting Tulian it unfurled and wrapped around sending him tumbling hard to the ground.

With the ship leaving any second now, Ana had no choice but to remove him from the equation. Pressing another control a wireless signal was sent to the web that had ensnared her victim. The flexi-metal cable carried the signal through to the embedded Tetrazine explosives and with a shuddering blast turned the alien inside out.

A few spatters of gore landed nearby but the explosion had vaporised most of the corpse with barely a scratch on the ground. They would never know he was gone.

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Omni-cloak

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

Congratulations! Consumer analysis paradigms reveal that you are one of the lucky few who can truly appreciate the stylish utility of the new BioCorp Omni-cloak. For the low, low price of 0.375% credit availability per week, you can be ready for any situation calling for a sense of adventure as strong as your sense of fashion.

BioCorp's patented viral symbiote technology allows your Omni-cloak to adapt to your body as quickly as it adapts to the environment. Need a little extra energy while climbing Nix Olympica? Your Omni-cloak supplies endorphin analogues directly to your neurons, while maintaining comfortable temperatures and optimal concentrations of oxygen. Invited to an offshore cocktail party? Your Omni-cloak serves as gills, while displaying tasteful kinetic light patterns that show you to be a person of refinement and elegance.

Order your Omni-cloak today! Available in Fem, Masc, Herm, and Neut body fittings.

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Kwan's Harp

 

[Spiegal]

For as long as I could remember Kwan carried his Harp with him. Whether it was slung over his shoulder or clasped in his hand, it never left his side. No surprise really, considering it was gilded with gold and silver and strange little pearls hung from its surface, ethereally shimmering like the sky of some other world.

Whenever we asked him to play he would decline. Politely at first but every time we asked he would be firmer and angrier, our constant demands growing ever more irritating no doubt.

One day the great plague from the highlands finally reached our town. Hundreds were struck down and within days most were dead or dying. All except Kwan. He still walked the town seemingly untouched by pestilence, trying to save as many as he could, delivering medicine, transporting the dead and fetching food and water for whoever needed it.

Despite his efforts, the plague was spreading and our time was almost up. He gathered who he could to the town centre, the young and old all blighted and teetering on the brink of death.

For the first and last time he played his harp.

A blinding light descended, purifying everything it touched, healing the sick, raising our loved ones from the clutches of death and causing a surge of life to rush through the empty streets. When it finally died down I found myself in the street, in my finest clothes bathed in the golden sun of a mid summers eve, fete stalls and bunting joyfully adorning our streets and the laughter and cheer of our town dancing on the air.

I don't recognise the hills around our town now but we never leave, what more could we ever want? Delicious food, the best company of friends and family and an ever present feeling of joyous anticipation for something we never quite reach.

I never saw Kwan again, but every so often you may glimpse him in the sky, the face of our deliverer and saviour. Paladin Kwan of Telmatharr.

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Ephemeral chronometer

 

[BenSt]

Ephemeral Chronometer

Devised by the mad scientist Traxos Spinbane to calculate the time-space differential between the quarks of nucleii and orbiting electrons in atomic structures. Why he devised this and founded a whole new language of measurement is unknown, but the chonometer became very important to the foundations of time travel. Being able to detect the intricate strings of temporal causality connecting all versions of matter strung through out the infinite instances of the Universe, the chonometer was combined with a temporal position regulator to pinpoint exact instances in time. This device was then combined with a spatial matrix AI, thus allowing for an exact calculation of space-time coordinate. It was thus that phrases like gnosis-bubble, overlapping material series, and the measurement of a hysark entered into Human vocabulary.

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Trident of Merovia

 

[Spiegal]

apologies for the shoddiness, I just wanted to get SOMETHING down


"Orion's was the lance that pierced the heavens"

Parents told the story a thousand times before their children slept. As adults it was their turn to tell it to their own children when night approached.
The great battle had sundered the continents, shattered the skies, and ripped our dimension in two. A story to live on through the ages.

The gods were locked in mortal battle on the other side of our spiritual realm. Whenever a blow was parried lightning would blast from the heavens. When a god was slain a volcano would explode or tsunami wash us away as they collapsed to the ground.

Millennia passed and the stories became legend, then myth, then superstition.
We grew up. Science overtook our minds and we became beings of logic and reason.
"Gods battling in the realm of our spirits? What a fanciful piece of storytelling!" they would claim.

They would have us believe that nothing could be this far fetched. That was until the battle finally spread into our world.

One morning the sky burst. In a flash of fire and clap of thunder so loud it was heard across the planet, a city was wiped from the face of the earth.

When the dust cleared, the hollowed remains stood before us like the skeleton of a giant vanquished beast. Standing as a monument to the dead city was a weapon of one of the gods, disarmed with such force that the weapon was forced through into our world, it had landed atop the city and destroyed it in one massive explosion.

In the aftermath we recalled one of the lines of the myth.

"Merovia's was the Trident to split the Earth.

We believed again.

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Azure Gate

 

[BenSt]

Once completed, the Azure Gate would be the city's crowning achievement. The Emperor, Gregorious XI had commissioned the triumphal arch after having defeated his arch-rival Benarious the Small in the north, the Arch so named for the battle site... the Azurella plain. A year of careful planning had seen the scaffolds erected, the basic concrete arch formed, and in workshops all across the city figures were being carved and painted, reliefs of the battle and the Triumph which had brought Benarious' head to the temple for desecration and gilding. The arch had created many new jobs and money was pouring out of the treasury, but neither the elites nor the commoners cared.

Gregarious donned his robes of state, the silver ivy crown of his predecessors placed upon his brow, the gilded sword that had been his fathers, and approached the podium to address his people.

"My friends, we who are the victors of this most terrible war. We who stand on the bones of our enemies and the earth soaked red with their blood. We who were the conquerors, and the preservers of peace, we who stand alive today to celebrate this day... are blessed. Though this gate I present to you all humbly is a reminder of our salvation, this gate is not mine alone, nor yours. This gate is an opening to the entire world, an entrance and exit point for our children and their children. Let us never forget the events of the Azurellian Fields, the brave men and women who fought for and died for our great civilization. This gateway is not a commemoration of myself or my kind, but of all of you. When you walk below it, take a moment to pray for and remember all who were present that day. My friends, I salute your resiliency, your support, and your courage. May God continue to bless us all."

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Barnacle Fruit

 

[TitaniumTi]

The first sense was hunger. The Tribe delved in mud, searching for the globules that assuaged their pangs. The second sense was itch. The Tribe rolled in mud, soothing the itch of their growing wings. Then came colour; above them, the azure gate beckoned.

One mind succumbed. Briefly, the Tribe saw expanses of green and blue and gold, before distance broke the bond between one mind and many.

More wings unfurled.

The mercurial analyst

 

[TitaniumTi]

He preferred to call himself to Barney FruIt, rolling his second name into two solemn syllables. When he returned to the commune at Christmas, he allowed his parents to introduce him by his full name, as he took each proffered hand in his plastosteel grip. A sensitive robot, he understood that even Free Spirits were subject to peer pressure.

The mercurial analyst

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

The mercurial analyst towered over the lords and ladies gathered to witness its first demonstration. It was a white cylinder nearly three meters tall, its alabaster surface festooned with intricate circuits of jade and chalcedony like secret writing. Magister Stallert smiled at the gathered aristocrats and activated the analyst by tapping it firmly three times. It rang like a cathedral bell and lit up from within. Vague shadows danced within the pearly light, as the liquid metal which enabled it to function flowed up and down, left and right, around and around. "Who wishes to ask the first question, exalted ones?"

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Sand skimmers

 

[TitaniumTi]

Sand skimmers flit above the vast, shadowy banks of data trawled from the depths of the Oceans of Information. As they move through their inhuman dance, they pick and link ideas and facts, thoughts and beliefs, creating chains of knowledge that, in seconds, surpass the accumulated achievements of human history.

Bactero-celestial particles