junkodudeturkey835
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Nov 23, 2013
- Messages
- 83
Due to me being so stupid and putting the whole short story for people to read in a previous thread, here is the first part of the story. Surely this will get tons of people saying "show, don't tell" being the main issue with it, but anyway, enjoy.
“Funny, its boiling outside, yet this attic feels so cold?”
Mark Bateman was searching for a photo of himself as a child. His current girlfriend is curious to know what the tall African-American looked like when he wasn’t so tall. Photos of him from the 80s were stored up in the attic according to his father, Jack. The attic was filled with old relics of a bygone era. It has been 15 years since Mark was last up here, it was much more spacious and had only half of the stuff that could be seen right now.
The stuff that filled the attic are boxes of old VHS tapes (with a VHS player), old desks, 80s robot toys and a handful of home computers that dated back to at least 1980. Mark fondly remembered playing with those robot toys back in the day. He used to imagine the robots were piloted by a human inside, fighting evil aliens bent on the destruction of humanity. He was an avid watcher of cartoons featuring giant robots, most of which he can’t even remember the names of since they just faded into obscurity, perhaps there are some VHS recordings hidden away in the boxes.
His father is a hoarder of sorts, despite having no use for any of these items in this day and age, he still clings onto them since they apparently remind him of “happier” times. He had a car accident in 1992 that permanently damaged his legs, unable to run or do anything demanding with the condition of his legs. That’s all well and good, despite the fact they take up unnecessary space in the attic. In fact, the attic was filled to the brim with this junk, there was hardly enough room to walk normally since there were useless toys lying around on the floor. Jack told him to be careful up there because of this, but Jack just didn’t have the audacity to clean the attic up for the sake of his son before he came over. Not enough time in his life for it he claims, if Mark had a penny for all the people who use that excuse to mask their laziness, he would be a millionaire.
Mark picked as many of the toys up and placed them into random boxes, but many were still left on the floor since there were just way too many to clean up on his own. The computers don’t even work anymore, their circuits were fried long ago from overuse and age, not to mention how useless they are compared to modern PCs. And Jack owns most of the VHS movies on DVD now, the ones he doesn’t have are just low quality B-movies that no one remembers anymore or random TV recordings that may or may not be of the cartoons Mark used to love watching as a kid. “Might as well look through these boxes, maybe she will like some of this crap.”
He first inspected an unusually cold cabinet that was emitting a cold breeze that was coming from the gaps between the drawers and the cabinet support. Something felt wrong when he first entered the attic. The weather outside was boiling to the point staying outside would be an unbearable experience, but in here it was like the attic was in a different world, the temperature was freezing. It was as if it was ahead in time, already in the winter period of the country. This cabinet has been in this attic for what seemed like a decade or so. Dust, cobwebs and spider eggs decorated the dull and grey object to the point it seemed as if the webbing was holding the cabinet in a tight sticky grip. Patches of recently hatched spiders were climbing the webs, which only added to how gross the dust and webbing were. Mark cringed whenever he touched the cabinet, accidently squashing a few new-born spiders in the process.
The air it was emitting felt like a gentle breeze, like the kind from having a window open. But this was a cabinet, not an open window, and even if it was there is no way it would have made the room feel this cold. Something just isn’t right about this, even the dumbest of the dumb would see the impossibility in that.
The breeze seemed to have been originating from the back of the cabinet. Mark pulled the cabinet away from the wall, inspecting the back he found nothing. The breeze was coming from inside the cabinet itself, behind the drawers. Mark at first had a feeling that it could be a cooler that was placed inside the cabinet for whatever reason, but this cabinet had been untouched for years, that couldn’t be it.
Pulling out the top drawer, which was unusually loose, the air got colder to the point it felt like he was in a cooler part of the world. What he saw wasn’t normal in the slightest. The metal wasn’t there, instead replaced with the view of a grey rocky formation in a desert during what appeared to be daytime. Perhaps this was just some fancy picture that was placed at the back of the cabinet as an illusion, but this looked far too vivid to possibly be a picture. Needing to see more, with his heart pounding like that of a rabbit, Mark pulled out the remaining two cabinets, which were also unusually loose, in haste, He finally saw the rest of it.
The ground was flat on the other side, looking cracked and dry like a barren desert on Earth with two large rocks in the distance. The desert seemed to go on for eternity from what he could see. Mark just stared in disbelief, what was this? A portal to another world, or perhaps a world localized inside the cabinet, it could be either for all he knew. Using his smartphone, he activated the video recording feature and entered the cabinet. He poked his head through the back, his head entirely in this unknown place. This certainly wasn’t an illusion, it was real.
The air was heavy, breathable, but it was harder to breathe compared to oxygen where he was, he was wheezing and felt his fight or flight response starting to kick in, but he resisted the urge to move. It was cold, unusually so with the place looking like it had just been fried by a child with a magnifying glass. Looking up at the sky, the sky was blue, but there were no clouds. Instead, he saw a strange rotating spiral pillar of immense size with alien symbols and patterns floating in the void between worlds.
The pillar emitted a bright blue glow which made it very clear to observe from the surface of the world. It was easy to make out details on the pillar, the pillar was full of small tiny cracks that decorated the entire thing, identical to the cracks on the surface of the place Mark was partially in. The pillar had to at least be around the size of Jupiter since it filled up almost the entire sky, it was at least large enough to cause vibrations on this world since a loud rumbling could be heard. But the rumbling was so loud it was impossible to figure out if it even originated from the pillar, perhaps both the world and the pillar were rumbling. But if that was the case, why is everything completely still. Mark stared at it for half a minute, hypnotised by its size and the rotating. This certainly was not of this world, perhaps not even of this universe.
He next focused his attention to around the frame of the door, he couldn’t see what it was coming from. For all he could see, it was just a window in the middle of a desert. He put his left hand around the corner of the back of the cabinet, his right hand back in the room holding onto the front of the cabinet, keeping him from falling in. He thought that there had to be some sort of archway or object keeping this window open, but when he felt for perhaps a structure around the back of the window, he felt nothing.
Perhaps maybe it was like some sort of magical glass, so he attempted to feel the back of the “glass”. When he did, his hand just went through it like nothing was even there, he gasped. He didn’t even feel anything weird, and it was as if his hand was just moving around through the air. Putting his left hand back in its original position, he looked at the two rocks one last time. These were the only sort of formation in this world from what he could see. Just two lonely rocks in contrast with the barren wasteland where nothing could have existed or procreate. With nothing else to really observe from here, he turned to leave the cabinet. He had to tell Jack about this, surely he would be pretty fascinated by the discovery of a world inside his cabinet.
“Funny, its boiling outside, yet this attic feels so cold?”
Mark Bateman was searching for a photo of himself as a child. His current girlfriend is curious to know what the tall African-American looked like when he wasn’t so tall. Photos of him from the 80s were stored up in the attic according to his father, Jack. The attic was filled with old relics of a bygone era. It has been 15 years since Mark was last up here, it was much more spacious and had only half of the stuff that could be seen right now.
The stuff that filled the attic are boxes of old VHS tapes (with a VHS player), old desks, 80s robot toys and a handful of home computers that dated back to at least 1980. Mark fondly remembered playing with those robot toys back in the day. He used to imagine the robots were piloted by a human inside, fighting evil aliens bent on the destruction of humanity. He was an avid watcher of cartoons featuring giant robots, most of which he can’t even remember the names of since they just faded into obscurity, perhaps there are some VHS recordings hidden away in the boxes.
His father is a hoarder of sorts, despite having no use for any of these items in this day and age, he still clings onto them since they apparently remind him of “happier” times. He had a car accident in 1992 that permanently damaged his legs, unable to run or do anything demanding with the condition of his legs. That’s all well and good, despite the fact they take up unnecessary space in the attic. In fact, the attic was filled to the brim with this junk, there was hardly enough room to walk normally since there were useless toys lying around on the floor. Jack told him to be careful up there because of this, but Jack just didn’t have the audacity to clean the attic up for the sake of his son before he came over. Not enough time in his life for it he claims, if Mark had a penny for all the people who use that excuse to mask their laziness, he would be a millionaire.
Mark picked as many of the toys up and placed them into random boxes, but many were still left on the floor since there were just way too many to clean up on his own. The computers don’t even work anymore, their circuits were fried long ago from overuse and age, not to mention how useless they are compared to modern PCs. And Jack owns most of the VHS movies on DVD now, the ones he doesn’t have are just low quality B-movies that no one remembers anymore or random TV recordings that may or may not be of the cartoons Mark used to love watching as a kid. “Might as well look through these boxes, maybe she will like some of this crap.”
He first inspected an unusually cold cabinet that was emitting a cold breeze that was coming from the gaps between the drawers and the cabinet support. Something felt wrong when he first entered the attic. The weather outside was boiling to the point staying outside would be an unbearable experience, but in here it was like the attic was in a different world, the temperature was freezing. It was as if it was ahead in time, already in the winter period of the country. This cabinet has been in this attic for what seemed like a decade or so. Dust, cobwebs and spider eggs decorated the dull and grey object to the point it seemed as if the webbing was holding the cabinet in a tight sticky grip. Patches of recently hatched spiders were climbing the webs, which only added to how gross the dust and webbing were. Mark cringed whenever he touched the cabinet, accidently squashing a few new-born spiders in the process.
The air it was emitting felt like a gentle breeze, like the kind from having a window open. But this was a cabinet, not an open window, and even if it was there is no way it would have made the room feel this cold. Something just isn’t right about this, even the dumbest of the dumb would see the impossibility in that.
The breeze seemed to have been originating from the back of the cabinet. Mark pulled the cabinet away from the wall, inspecting the back he found nothing. The breeze was coming from inside the cabinet itself, behind the drawers. Mark at first had a feeling that it could be a cooler that was placed inside the cabinet for whatever reason, but this cabinet had been untouched for years, that couldn’t be it.
Pulling out the top drawer, which was unusually loose, the air got colder to the point it felt like he was in a cooler part of the world. What he saw wasn’t normal in the slightest. The metal wasn’t there, instead replaced with the view of a grey rocky formation in a desert during what appeared to be daytime. Perhaps this was just some fancy picture that was placed at the back of the cabinet as an illusion, but this looked far too vivid to possibly be a picture. Needing to see more, with his heart pounding like that of a rabbit, Mark pulled out the remaining two cabinets, which were also unusually loose, in haste, He finally saw the rest of it.
The ground was flat on the other side, looking cracked and dry like a barren desert on Earth with two large rocks in the distance. The desert seemed to go on for eternity from what he could see. Mark just stared in disbelief, what was this? A portal to another world, or perhaps a world localized inside the cabinet, it could be either for all he knew. Using his smartphone, he activated the video recording feature and entered the cabinet. He poked his head through the back, his head entirely in this unknown place. This certainly wasn’t an illusion, it was real.
The air was heavy, breathable, but it was harder to breathe compared to oxygen where he was, he was wheezing and felt his fight or flight response starting to kick in, but he resisted the urge to move. It was cold, unusually so with the place looking like it had just been fried by a child with a magnifying glass. Looking up at the sky, the sky was blue, but there were no clouds. Instead, he saw a strange rotating spiral pillar of immense size with alien symbols and patterns floating in the void between worlds.
The pillar emitted a bright blue glow which made it very clear to observe from the surface of the world. It was easy to make out details on the pillar, the pillar was full of small tiny cracks that decorated the entire thing, identical to the cracks on the surface of the place Mark was partially in. The pillar had to at least be around the size of Jupiter since it filled up almost the entire sky, it was at least large enough to cause vibrations on this world since a loud rumbling could be heard. But the rumbling was so loud it was impossible to figure out if it even originated from the pillar, perhaps both the world and the pillar were rumbling. But if that was the case, why is everything completely still. Mark stared at it for half a minute, hypnotised by its size and the rotating. This certainly was not of this world, perhaps not even of this universe.
He next focused his attention to around the frame of the door, he couldn’t see what it was coming from. For all he could see, it was just a window in the middle of a desert. He put his left hand around the corner of the back of the cabinet, his right hand back in the room holding onto the front of the cabinet, keeping him from falling in. He thought that there had to be some sort of archway or object keeping this window open, but when he felt for perhaps a structure around the back of the window, he felt nothing.
Perhaps maybe it was like some sort of magical glass, so he attempted to feel the back of the “glass”. When he did, his hand just went through it like nothing was even there, he gasped. He didn’t even feel anything weird, and it was as if his hand was just moving around through the air. Putting his left hand back in its original position, he looked at the two rocks one last time. These were the only sort of formation in this world from what he could see. Just two lonely rocks in contrast with the barren wasteland where nothing could have existed or procreate. With nothing else to really observe from here, he turned to leave the cabinet. He had to tell Jack about this, surely he would be pretty fascinated by the discovery of a world inside his cabinet.
