Description / Dialogue Naming

[Westie]

I have an issue when it comes to the explaining what a character said or did. For example, a main character called Bob Smith:

Do you write "Bob jumped in the pilot's seat and started flicking switches" ...or... "Smith jumped in the pilot's seat and started flicking switches" ... or even ..."Bob Smith jumped in the pilot's seat and started flicking switches"?

It's a tricky one that gets me all the time.

Also, is this consistent across the board - do I call him Bob, Smith or Bob Smith at every instance, and do you do this for major, minor and redshirt characters throughout the story?

 

[Jo Zebedee]

It depends who the pov voice is. For close pov, if they call him Bob, call him Bob, if they use Smith, use Smith. If it's their child's pov, call him Dad. You may have to be a bit twisty so we know it's the same character but there're ways around that - wearing something notable, carrying on a scene in a new pov, 'My Dad, The Bob Smith, astronaut....'

If an omni narrator, I'd live with the full name once, and then settle on one.

 

[tinkerdan]

Generally you would at sometime identify the character by his full name ( or rank or serial number) afterwards when it's clear who you are talking about; he's the only Bob in the scene or the only Smith or the only captain, doctor, engineer.

But you want to try to be consistent in the scene. If you start with Bob Smith you could finish with either Bob or Smith the rest of the way through (in narrative this is) as long as you consistently use it throughout the scene so as not to confuse the reader.

Dialogue is a different animal and could cause some good opportunity for humor if everyone in the scene has a different name for him. You might need to establish that prior to the scene so it can be followed easily.

 

[TheDustyZebra]

Yes, it depends on what the other characters call him. And if you start with a "Smith jumped into the seat and started flicking switches," then you can probably get by with a few "he checked the display" and "he turned to the co-pilot" instances before you need to refer to him as Smith again. You just need enough (and in the right places) references to his name to make it clear who's doing what. Even if he's the only one there, a Smith once in a while is a good break from he.

 

[ralphkern]

When writing my first novel, I had this exact same debate with myself and the conclusions I came out with was that I believe you can use names to help set a bit of a tone.

My first covers a group of people who know each other very well and, whilst they're consummate professionals, they are all on first name terms, so use that in the narrative itself.

The sequal (well sidequal) is set in the same 'world', but covers a different group of characters and is a darker story and has a completely different group dynamic. I felt using last names kept with the tone of the piece better.

Additionally, I made a very conscious choice in a short story (in the critique section) that when in speech they would use first names, and I would use last names in the narrative. My reasoning being that I wanted to show they are friends to each other, but the narrative I wanted to be quite clinical. I felt this helped to emphasise their friendship in quite a harsh setting. Maybe it works maybe it doesn't, I'm sure greater minds than I will have a view on that. I will add I think that would only work with a smaller dramatis persona though as you're doubling the amount of names people have to remember. There were two people in that story, I wouldn't want to do it with twenty.

 

[Mouse]

What springs said.

In the collab we have a character called James. In the narration in his POV, he's James. In the narration in the other character's POV, he's Jim.