Spaceship landing

[Jo Zebedee]

Sorry, guys. First time I've serially abused the board in a while.

There are character thoughts and what not included in this scene not shown below, so don't worry about the lack of exposition. It's also made the first section a little staccato.

What I'm wondering about is the landing itself -- within the realms of space opera possibility? The freighters refer to the ship the pov character is on and the flanking ones. The pov character is in the co-pilot's seat and, although a reasonably competent pilot, isn't skilled enough to undertake this sort of landing.

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The planet grew bigger, taking on its familiar orange-tinge, much faster than he’d have liked. Three flanking ships pulled away, each focused on their section of the great desert. An alarm sounded as the planet’s Space Control tried to make contact, but was flipped it to silent. The communicator flashed an angry red.



He leant forward, watching; already, ships would be mobilising in the port, to be joined by those based in the desert compound.



The ship’s engines screamed in protest at the speed of descent. His stomach dropped as the grav-regulator tried to adjust but couldn’t keep up. He swallowed nausea and kept his focus on the skies ahead, growing lighter as they streaked through the upper atmosphere. New alarms sounded, insistent and loud. They plummeted down, the ship shaking, his teeth rattling. Level out. Now.


The first ships emerged from the port; a small fleet of fighters, splitting into four, two targeted on each freighter. He pointed, the pilot nodded and pulled out of the descent to streak across the blurred desert beneath. The ship dropped lower, the speed it carried from space letting it outpace the fighters, but it wouldn’t be long until the distance closed.



“Salyn, Tarn, cover me.” The pilot's voice carried just the edge of worry.



“Coming round.”



Two of the freighters broke from their flight path, picking up the pursuing fighters. Laser-bolts flashed against the freighters’ shields, allowing their ship to pull away, leaving the dog-fight behind. The ship banked and slowed, but the planet was still coming at them much, much too fast.



“Brace. Touchdown in ten.”



He pulled the brace restraints across his body and crossed his arms, letting his seat pull him against it. His mouth was dry as the ship passed over the desert, churning up the sand. The pilot leaned forward, watching, watching.


“Nine.” The countdown started from the control panel. They were seventy feet above the desert at best. “Eight, seven, six…” Forty feet; oh, gods, get this over. “Five.”



He put his head down, and concentrated on his boots, but they weren’t much of a distraction in the midst of the alarms and the roaring noise from the engines.



“Four. Three. Two.”



Farran hit the landing command and thrust himself back in his seat, into the brace position, his brow beaded with sweat. “Hang on!”


The ship hit the ground, hard and shuddering. Reverse thrusters kicked in at full power, screaming in protest. More alarms sounded, lights flashed and blared; the ship may be equipped for space-to-ground landings, it didn’t have to like them. Finally, the ship came to a halt.




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[Brian G Turner]

It seems fine to me - but one potential issue is that the danger/stakes are inferred, rather than made clear. I'm not sure if it's something you kept out specifically, but I would have been happier to read more doubt regarding the pilots thoughts, and the stakes made plain - the hideous death awaiting all of them if they messed up. Conflict and all that.

One quick editing suggestion:

Finally, the ship came to a halt.

Stronger verb than "came". 'Juddered' or similar to continue the language that this is not a smooth stop.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

It seems fine to me - but one potential issue is that the danger/stakes are inferred, rather than made clear. I'm not sure if it's something you kept out specifically, but I would have been happier to read more doubt regarding the pilots thoughts, and the stakes made plain - the hideous death awaiting all of them if they messed up. Conflict and all that.

One quick editing suggestion:


Stronger verb than "came". 'Juddered' or similar to continue the language that this is not a smooth stop.

Thanks, Brian. I like juddered. The exposition with the stakes etc in it is deliberately left out so that the crit remains anonymous from the work, if that makes sense, as this one will hopefully see the light of day.

 

[chrispenycate]

[/Quote]

Sorry, guys. First time I've serially abused the board in a while.

There are character thoughts and whatnot included in this scene not shown below, so don't worry about the lack of exposition. It's also made the first section a little staccato.

What I'm wondering about is the landing itself -- within the realms of space opera possibility? The freighters refer to the ship the pov character is on and the flanking ones. The pov character is in the co-pilot's seat and, although a reasonably competent pilot, isn't skilled enough to undertake this sort of landing.

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The planet grew bigger, taking on its familiar orange-tinge, much faster than he’d have liked. Three flanking ships pulled away, each focused on their

Its, or her. There's no need for the generic (and essentially plural) possessive here, and 'each' is singular.

section of the great desert. An alarm sounded as the planet’s Space Control tried to make contact, but was flipped it

No 'it'.

to silent. The communicator flashed an angry red.



He leant forward, watching; already, ships would be mobilising in the port, to be joined by those based in the desert compound.

joined (in mobilising, not physically) is possibly not the best word.

The ship’s engines screamed in protest at the speed of descent.

Why? The engines aren't needed for the descent here, only (perhaps) for steering. You've got all your interplanetary velocity (from the first paragraph; do you have any idea how fast you are travelling if you can see the planet grow?) plus the planet's gravitational attraction. The only acceleration you are getting is by atmospheric friction, which has put a plume of plasma round the ship through which you can see nothing; information about the ground ahead, and the fighters, is tight-beamed in from a remote sensor . Actually, you're probably going in backwards, engines first, with a minimal thrust just pushing the plasma away from your hull.

His stomach dropped as the grav-regulator tried to adjust but couldn’t keep up.

The grav-regulator has nothing to worry about but turbulence here; the only real strain will be at the very end. I trust they replaced them when they upgraded the freighter's engines?

He swallowed nausea and kept his focus on the skies ahead, growing lighter as they streaked through the upper atmosphere. New alarms sounded, insistent and loud. They plummeted down, the ship shaking, his teeth rattling. Level out. Now.

Um, why? The planet's in the direction you're going, your motors are aimed towards it to slow your progress, what's the use of flying flat? You're not expecting aerodynamic lift?

The first ships emerged from the port; a small fleet of fighters, splitting into four, two targeted on each freighter. He pointed, the pilot nodded and pulled out of the descent

That's just not going to happen. They'll continue dropping whatever they do. Meteorites don't swoop.

to streak across the blurred desert beneath. The ship dropped lower, the speed it carried from space letting it outpace the fighters, but it wouldn’t be long until the distance closed.

The fighters will have accurate trajectories of where the freighters are going and will aim for where they're going to be when they get there, not their present position. Actually, if they're atmosphere craft they probably can't match the reentry velocity, and if spaceworthy will lift out of the atmosphere to gain velocity with visibility. No risk in the time intervals before touchdown.

“Salyn, Tarn, cover me.” The pilot's voice carried just the edge of worry.



“Coming round.”



Two of the freighters broke from their flight path, picking up the pursuing fighters. Laser-bolts flashed against the freighters’ shields, allowing their ship to pull away,

Not clear this is our POV ship that's pulling away. And a severe lack of discipline and organisation on the part of the fighters.

leaving the dog-fight behind. The ship banked and slowed, but the planet was still coming at them much, much too fast.



“Brace. Touchdown in ten.”



He pulled the brace restraints across his body and crossed his arms, letting his seat pull him against it. His mouth was dry as the ship passed over the desert, churning up the sand. The pilot leaned forward, watching, watching.

That's a hypersonic shockwave lifting the sand into the air. Much like the one from a nuclear explosion. What a pity the pilot can't see it, but has to concentrate on his instrumentation.

“Nine.” The countdown started from the control panel. They were seventy feet above the desert at best. “Eight, seven, six…” Forty feet; oh, gods, get this over. “Five.”

Seventy feet? At the speed they're going? You're thinking aircraft, not meteorite.

He put his head down, and concentrated on his boots, but they weren’t much of a distraction in the midst of the alarms and the roaring noise from the engines.



“Four. Three. Two.”



Farran hit the landing command and thrust himself back in his seat, into the brace position, his brow beaded with sweat. “Hang on!”


The ship hit the ground, hard and shuddering.

You're trying to land it like an airliner. Don't. Kill all speed (on all axes) and bring it down on ballistic, more like a helicopter. The thing might be a spaceplane, with wings and atmosphere motors as well as vacuum drive, but its stall speed's going to be lousy. And tyres to cushion and absorb speed like that on a desert runway, not even a commercial spaceport? Fly in backwards, engines at full absorbing speed, lower undercarriage as soon as aerodynamics says turbulence caused is acceptable, and aim to hit zero velocity relative to the ground (horizontal and vertical) at a few centimetres height

Reverse thrusters kicked in at full power, screaming in protest. More alarms sounded, lights flashed and blared; the ship may be equipped for space-to-ground landings, it didn’t have to like them. Finally, the ship came to a halt.


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You really don't want to watch Star Wars movies with me.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

Chrispy, you're amazing, thank you. That's what I needed. And, um, no - I don't want to watch Star Wars with you.

Could I have an almost-stall, a drop and some nice landing repulsors. Please.

 

[chrispenycate]

Landing repulsors, fine. You can define how they work; I'm afraid I don't know. I ran all that on conventional physics. But it'll be a total stall, just not an unstable one; it would actually have been easier to bring them down on water. But there wasn't any.

 

[tinkerdan]

I'm confused-common affliction of mine.

Are all the freighters landing and are they already into the atmosphere of the planet.

Or the fighters from the planet coming up to pursue or are they in space pursuing the freighters.

A thought is that the freighter might be designed to do this the fighter may or may not be able to make entry from space. But if this scenario is close to an earth like planet then they would have more troubles at entry than to worry about dogfights. Unless they have specially designed equipment that exceeds conditions we experience now on entry.

The fighters may be designed as a force that expects to pursue from space to atmosphere, but those would have to be specialized and more expensive than pursuit fighters made for space maneuvers only. I'm going to guess that firing anything while entering atmosphere for landing will be risky at best because I've no training in that.
I would almost expect that any concern after entering the atmosphere would be toward the possibility of something launched from planet side to intercept although it might be possible that they would still be a target to anything that had no intention of entering the atmosphere so someone would have to distract those from doing so.

Anything that comes into the atmosphere with them should be having some of the same issues they would have. That's not to say that your technology has compensated for all of those issues and that at that time dogfights easily continue from space to entry to touchdown.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

Um. Tis very firmly space opera this. The freighters are coming into the atmosphere. The fighters are launching from the planet. Only one freighter is landing - the others are decoy - and then only long enough for a one-person off load. The freighters are adapted for smuggling runs.

Does that help plausibilty at all?

 

[chrispenycate]

Tis very firmly space opera this.

Perhaps I shouldn't have stuck my oar in.

Don't forget a thermal suid for he who is bailing out; the outside of that ship will be HOT

 

[tinkerdan]

Then maybe like the shuttles with some maneuverability.

When I was working in Antelope Valley near Palmdale/Lancaster area, the shuttles would land at Edwards Air Force Base. They come in fast and hard with lots of noise-it's incredible.

 

[Natimus15]

Landing repulsors, fine. You can define how they work; I'm afraid I don't know. I ran all that on conventional physics. But it'll be a total stall, just not an unstable one; it would actually have been easier to bring them down on water. But there wasn't any.

I actually like the ambiguity of the "landing repulsors". Anyone used to reading hardcore science fiction needs to be ready to adapt to new elements and imagine their function in a new world. Otherwise, constant descriptions can interrupt the narrative. Another possibility is to include some type of glossary at the back for quasi-scientific terms, although that's somewhat lame....

 

[Jo Zebedee]

Many thanks, Natimus, and welcome to the Chrons.