Little bit of plot help. Steampunk/detective/fantasy.

[anthorn]

So, I have this main character who in his 30s is considered a war hero and is the head of an investigation unit. He's widely credited with bringing the cities ancient order into the modern era. (I'm writing a steampunk fantasy with electricity and steam powered men. The idea is that without the help of magic after it died 500 years ago, technology progressed as they were no longer reliant on mages.)


He still answers to the city Governor, but is pretty much able to do what he pleases. He is in the middle of investigating the murder and disappearances of several women when his friend arrives to ask him to find a lost relative.
Now I have a vague idea of the larger plot in that it involves corruption on a grand scale. It involves a group trying to force the return of magic by breeding women to those who had magic in their ancestry. The Governor is in on it, he's being paid to look the other way. He also gets to sample the wares on occasion as well as those 'rejected.'


I'm struggling to work out how the main guy can discover this. So far I have him investigating the murders, the disappearances. A dwarf whore giving him a subtle hint that his order might be involved, and him suspecting a human trafficking angle.
Any ideas on how he can discover the connection with the Governor? I had one thought of him bumping into the Governor at a brothel where a missing girl was rumoured to be seen and the Governor bringing him in on the deal as a partner, but I'm not sure if that's too flimsy. This would also go side by side with the conflict between him and an old friend who contacted him to find a lost relative. Because of his actions she begins to think he was involved in her relative's kidnapping. This would also allow me to introduce another character who keeps dropping hints that not only was he involved, but he killed her too, providing evidence to his point.


What do you guys think?

 

[hopewrites]

I'd want a softer touch than bumping into him on a sting op or being pulled aside for a cut of the spoils (unless he's the kind of guy who gives of the vibe of being buyable). To me ether would seem careless of the Governor and I would question how he has managed to stay in power, whether or not he's a puppet figurehead, and if he is, I would expect him to be replaced in short order (possibly in a set up to take the fall) if he is that careless.

Actually, now I think of it, having him set up to take a fall would put him in a prime position to call on an old war hero friend, especially if he suspects him of being on the case. Yes, if the Governor called him in to save him from taking the fall, that would sit well.

Hope that helps

 

[TheDustyZebra]

Perhaps he's investigating something where there is a ball or party going on and runs into the governor with a girl he's seen somewhere else? She could be one of the "missing" girls, or a sister or cousin of one, or someone he's interrogated under seedier circumstances?

 

[tinkerdan]

I think in a more simplistic way that the governor could have one or two of the women working for him especially if they have rejects-whatever that means. They could seem loyal to the governor but only on a sort of edgy way and maybe if there is more than one around and the governor has taken advantage of them as might be the case they might even have infighting and the detective might see some of that on occasion and perhaps maybe connect one or more face eventually with missing persons.

The detective could start his mental ball rolling maybe after accidentally walking in on the governor when he was almost in a compromising position with one of the woman and then perhaps later he start noticing different woman exiting the office or maybe with the governor in other settings. He could at first just think he's meeting up with the ladies before he discovers one or two might be on some older missing person lists.

 

[Venusian Broon]

Always difficult suggesting plots - especially when it looks like you've done a tremendous amount of work.

The governor trying to bring him in on the deal might work, if the governor likes him but has also been forced into a corner to do i.e. evidence has been uncovered - I think then you would have to have the protagonist reject completely the proposal and is therefore deemed expendable by the governor i.e. you set up clear good/bad and tensions. On the other hand it might be better for your protagonist to always be on the outside and discover what is happening bit by bit...



My riff on your ideas, that go a different way are, well, as you're having lots of breeding...

...a dead woman is found - and as he is investigating murders of women he gets called and goes there (thus tying it into your other plot about the lost relative). It turns out not to be anyone he is currently looking for, in fact she cannot be identified straight away - but very strangely there is also a small mysterious child hiding nearby that no one knows who they are but appears that the dead women might be the child's mother so the protagonist takes him/her in for the moment to look after them. (we find out later that she is one of the breeding mothers who escaped and snatched a child - or even her own child - and escaped her captors, but was unfortunately killed in the attempt.)

The child is unfortunately too young to know or explain where he/she has come from.

Then perhaps he could do a bit of back ground work to establish the identity of this woman - at first he can't find any records or clues so perhaps through clever shenanigans he discovers that she was indeed someone that disappeared years and years ago, and that the records have been tampered with and removed to make her officially disappear (and only the Governor's office can do that - and hence our protagonist starts to make a connection).

Or/and the governor gets to hear about this mysterious child that the protagonist has and knows full well what this child represents and hires someone to kidnap the child back. This attempt fails and during this there is some direct evidence from the kidnappers (beats it out of a terrified survivor or finds something on a body that can only mean - the governor!) and that tells the protagonist that the governor ordered this and there is a bigger plot regarding the child, missing women and him. So he drills down deeper and uncovers it all.

Oh, and as it's a magic breeding program, perhaps this child has magic powers, hidden at first, but come to the fore to save our protagonist at a sticky moment (and this also explains how a small child managed to evade capture while his/her mother got hunted down...)

i.e. a sort of steampunk Leon/Witness/Carrie mash-up!

 

[barrett1987]

If the governor is in on it then thats the link. Does he spot something that belonged to one of the girls when visiting the gov? A yellow headband that she always wore. hey presto, suspicion.

 

[anthorn]

Always difficult suggesting plots - especially when it looks like you've done a tremendous amount of work.

The governor trying to bring him in on the deal might work, if the governor likes him but has also been forced into a corner to do i.e. evidence has been uncovered - I think then you would have to have the protagonist reject completely the proposal and is therefore deemed expendable by the governor i.e. you set up clear good/bad and tensions. On the other hand it might be better for your protagonist to always be on the outside and discover what is happening bit by bit...



My riff on your ideas, that go a different way are, well, as you're having lots of breeding...

...a dead woman is found - and as he is investigating murders of women he gets called and goes there (thus tying it into your other plot about the lost relative). It turns out not to be anyone he is currently looking for, in fact she cannot be identified straight away - but very strangely there is also a small mysterious child hiding nearby that no one knows who they are but appears that the dead women might be the child's mother so the protagonist takes him/her in for the moment to look after them. (we find out later that she is one of the breeding mothers who escaped and snatched a child - or even her own child - and escaped her captors, but was unfortunately killed in the attempt.)

The child is unfortunately too young to know or explain where he/she has come from.

Then perhaps he could do a bit of back ground work to establish the identity of this woman - at first he can't find any records or clues so perhaps through clever shenanigans he discovers that she was indeed someone that disappeared years and years ago, and that the records have been tampered with and removed to make her officially disappear (and only the Governor's office can do that - and hence our protagonist starts to make a connection).

Or/and the governor gets to hear about this mysterious child that the protagonist has and knows full well what this child represents and hires someone to kidnap the child back. This attempt fails and during this there is some direct evidence from the kidnappers (beats it out of a terrified survivor or finds something on a body that can only mean - the governor!) and that tells the protagonist that the governor ordered this and there is a bigger plot regarding the child, missing women and him. So he drills down deeper and uncovers it all.

Oh, and as it's a magic breeding program, perhaps this child has magic powers, hidden at first, but come to the fore to save our protagonist at a sticky moment (and this also explains how a small child managed to evade capture while his/her mother got hunted down...)

i.e. a sort of steampunk Leon/Witness/Carrie mash-up!

Funnily enough you actually suggested the backstory I already had planned for the main character there. Product of a breeding program, mother escaped, came to the city where they lived a relatively safe life.