How to write this line?

[barrett1987]

Ok - The sergeant has a fit of coughing and I need him to say Watch your tongue.

I've written it like below but i feel it lacks style.

“Watch your tongue,” the sergeant squeezed out between coughs.

The man has a lot of coughing fits. I tried a few different ways.

Watch. Cough. Your. Cough. Tongue. etc etc but not happy.

Any ideas?

 

[SciFrac]

Sergeant coughed out a response, "Watch your tongue."

Or

"Watch..." Sergeant coughed. "Watch your tongue."

 

[steelyglint]

"Watch your tongue," wheezed Sergeant amidst another coughing fit.

'Wheezed' could be changed to 'breathed', 'spat'.

.

 

[Darkchild130]

"Watch..." Sergeant coughed. "Watch your tongue."

This one gives the best impression that he is actually coughing IMO.

 

[Brian G Turner]

The sergeant coughed. "Watch your tongue."

 

[tinkerdan]

It gets hard to break it up sometimes and could be "Watch...your...tongue."
And even though it seems like more words could cause too much delay you could try this:

"Watch..." The sergeant coughed and his hand muffled the words. "...your..." He wheezed and grimaced and pulled his hand away."...tongue."

 

[barrett1987]

Thanks for your help guys

 

[JonH]

I'd be tempted to try em-dashes, but I do like SciFrac's second suggestion. Tinker's feels good but overdone.

 

[Mouse]

"Watch..." Sergeant coughed. "Watch your tongue."

This is the best one, use this.

 

[paranoid marvin]

Growing steadily redder in the cheeks as another coughing fit told hold, the Sergeant wheezed "Watch...watch your tongue!"

 

[AnyaKimlin]

"Watch..." The sergeant punctuated every word with a cough. "Watch your tongue!"