Metaphors / Simile For Things That A Character Shouldn't Know

[Devon.Q.Ly]

Hi all,
Am in a bit of a conundrum, my story is set about 3000 - 5000 years into the future, Earth has been long abandoned and the history of our world all lost or forgotten.

So when writing 3rd person subjective / limited viewpoint, can you still reference things like animals when they are not mentioned or the character wouldn't have a clue what it is

Eg. He charges like a bull
A viper he attacks Mr X
The Space Ship the size of a whale

But if he doesn't know what bull, viper, and whales are, how do I use it as a simile?

or is it still ok because I am trying to draw the distinction to the reader and the simile is for the reader...

my head hurts

Any suggestions would be wonderful.

I've been thinking about just making up animals but that defeats the purpose of the simile in the first place and will be on the vicious circle of having to establish the animals (or the novel's equivalent to the Earth "thing" ) in the universe rather than the plot.

- Dev

 

[ratsy]

Does someone visit from another planet? If so you could make it so they had similar animals. Would another planet have a snake? Well it could...How many fantasy books have you read where they have horses and dogs, crows and pigs? These are on different worlds so I think it's fair game. But you could create your own species to add some flavour to it.

The ship was the size of a Kracaun, but it flew effortlessly through the sky instead of the sea.

Something like that and people will understand the reference.

 

[The Judge]

It's just possible the phrases may have continued, even though no one knows what the creatures are -- for instance we still say that someone is on tenterhooks, or that he has changed tack, and I'm willing to bet the majority of people won't know about stretching cloth over a tenter on the one hand, or the zigzag changing course of a ship on the other**. However, those phrases have remained over only a few hundred years, not several thousand.

I think in your place I'd probably avoid all reference to Earth animals, and forget using similes of this kind.



** and thinking about it, many people say "changing tact" not "tack" even though tack is still a word in use, if not-quite-everyday use, and I've seen "tenterhooks" written as "tenderhooks" in a (self-)published novel, so like a game of Chinese whispers, over generations "big as a whale" would end up "big as a wail" or similar anyway. (And everyone in the year 5000 would wonder why wails were thought to be big!)

.

 

[Abernovo]

I'd broadly agree with The Judge, although suggest there is a get out clause. If the history is not all forgotten, but only of interest to a few specialised academics, some phrases may still be in use, but with only those academics knowing the true meaning.

However, I'd still stay clear of animals if they were never taken off Earth (a horrible thought, humans living outside such a major part of their ecosystem). In such a case, people would have little reference and phrases would most likely die out or be replaced with something more readily comparable.

That said, similes are easy to trip up on. It might be wiser to immerse the reader in the world, and avoid referencing an ancient Earth which bears little on the story. Your story, though. Best of luck.

 

[psychotick]

Hi,

Sadly I'd say no. If those animals never made it off Earth and three to five thousand years have passed, none of those names would still exist in comon parlance. Hell English wouldn't exist. It's just too long a span of time.

However my question would be why have none of those animals made it off Earth? It would seem to me that given they have interstellar travel and that level of tech it would be easy to transport animals even if only as sperm and eggs.

Cheers, Greg.

 

[Ray McCarthy]

Ivanhoe
"Electrified"
Hmmm.

Tricky too if you are only dealing with Aliens.

 

[sknox]

Abandon the simile, sez I. It's an opportunity to reach for other modes of description.

 

[Wicke]

I definitely wouldn't use references for things the POV character doesn't know. For me, I like to write the narrative as deeply inside the character's head as possible. If you can do it subtly, this kind of metaphor would be a great way to do a little worldbuilding and get into the mindset of the character."He ran with the heavy gait of an angry b'awl."

If you do it too often, or too directly, it could get heavy-handed and break the fourth wall, so be careful about it. Know your world inside and out, know your character's place in it, and write from that place as naturally as possible.

 

[tinkerdan]

I've seen this problem come up many times and there are various ways, all the way to sneaking in some bits of exposition that might work; although it's sometimes difficult to do it without injecting some clunkiness.

Almost the best is to try to previously introduce some analogous creature and use that for the comparison. Or to just use some name like Gnarth.

It had the ferocity of a Gnarth protecting her cubs.

It had the ferocity of a Gnarth which bears some resemblance to the extinct Grizzly I once read about.

Or :In the case of having brought a species with you across the stars.

It was like sticking your foot in a bear-trap; something we are all too familiar with since someone had the bright idea of importing bears onto our otherwise pristine world.

 

[David Evil Overlord]

Here in Australia we have feral dogs, cats, pigs, camels, horses, water buffaloes, foxes, rabbits, cane toads, sparrows, starlings, rats, mice, etc.

They were all brought here by European settlement, either because they reminded the settlers of home (sparrows, starlings), they were something to hunt (foxes, rabbits), they were workhorses (camels and...um, horses), they were food (pigs), they were stowaways (rats, mice), they were supposed to control other pests not become a bigger pest themselves (cane toads) or they started off as pets (cats) or pets and working animals (dogs) and escaped into the wild and thrived.

So there are many animals from Old Earth that may make an appearance, suitably modified by evolution on other worlds (a feral cat shot here a couple of years ago was supposed to be the size of a leopard, but DNA said it was a common domestic pussy cat!)

 

[BetaWolf]

You've got some precedents there. From Star Wars, ep.4:

Ben Kenobi: "Still, even a duck has to be taught to swim."
Luke Skywalker: "What's a duck?"

Played for laughs. The well traveled old warrior and his new protege, the desert-world farm boy.

In Dune and Star Trek, you get all kinds of qualifiers before animal names, like Rigelian bloodworms (not just any old bloodworms, but Rigelian ones). That might be an out for you. Of course, on Rigel, they might just be called bloodworms, to paraphrase Steven Segal.

If there are any significant kinds of local fauna, I'd use those if you just can't get around it, assuming your far-future humans aren't just floating out in freefall. Like tinkerdan said previously.

David gives some good advice. There's going to be some invasive species that come along for the ride, things that might be considered vermin maybe.

 

[JonH]

I think if you are using storyteller omniscient, you can use whatever you like. In third limited, I prefer it when metaphors fit the POV, so no bull please. In fact I try to tailor them to the individual character, where possible. That way you get double the payload because you also flesh out the character in passing. If your character was a shop assistant you might say, charged like a shopper who must get to that one bargain on the first day of the sales.

You can ask yourself what do the similes and metaphors mean?

In what ways does he charge like a bull? Does he paw the ground first? Is he unstoppable? Is he charging mindlessly? Once you've figured out what concept you are trying to convey by the simile, it might be easier to find an alternative. For example, if you want a force of nature idea you might say, charges like an oncoming avalanche.

 

[Devon.Q.Ly]

Thanks guys really appreciate the feedback you guys have some awesome stuff. So based on what everyone has said I think I'll do it like this

- Flesh out the ecology a bit more (I mean I have a whole section about how a grapevine managed to survive) so surely a few animals were in the mix, although they would have changed somewhat maybe became new species because of their environments
- Make up some of my own creatures and plants
- Experiment with other ways to describe and expand my skill as a writer
- When unable to directly refer to something use the traits instead.


The main reason I can't have Earth animals mentioned (much) is that the whole Earth being unknown / hidden is part of the plot, conspiracy very hush hush that kind of thing.

Now all I have to decide is if metric or the imperial system of measurement survives 3000 years from now...

 

[Abernovo]

Now all I have to decide is if metric or the imperial system of measurement survives 3000 years from now...

At the risk of starting a huge...er...debate, I think you can assume the imperial system is already dead. The US might be trying to give it life support, but the lines are flat.

I like your ideas for fleshing out your story, by the way.

 

[Toby Frost]

If I remember rightly, one of the many horrors in 1984 was that you could only get beer in half-litres. Truly a nightmare vision of the future.

 

[Ray McCarthy]

Especially if only in plastic beakers.

 

[BetaWolf]

At the risk of starting a huge...er...debate, I think you can assume the imperial system is already dead. The US might be trying to give it life support, but the lines are flat.

I like your ideas for fleshing out your story, by the way.

The far right in US politics uses the metric system (and science in general I think) as an example of nefarious foreign influence. In my fantasy writing, I use heads for height, steps and paces for short distance, and leagues for long distances. I guess for space opera and hard sci fi, metric is assumed to be the proper system, eh?

 

[tinkerdan]

I favor the notion that the metric system will survive. But there is a lot of resistance over here in the US and I've been surprised at where some of comes from.

At the risk of starting a huge...er...debate, I think you can assume the imperial system is already dead. The US might be trying to give it life support, but the lines are flat.

I like your ideas for fleshing out your story, by the way.

We make equipment that is used by the airlines, military, space agencies and the like and at least one was constructed with all metric measurements down to the mounting holes being designed for metric screws. I have had a few irate calls from people in some of those agencies who want to know why we can't have rational measurements on the thing.

Despite that I have hopes that the younger generation will prove to be much more flexible.