Character/plot problem with W.I.P

[anthorn]

As people know I have had some difficulty with settling on characters for my novel, which seems to be solved now by making the characters older. But this has also presented other problems.
My original outline for the series involved a conflict between two sisters and an a feud between Silendra and Anwyn that has been going on in the background and influencing several key events.
The setting is basically a world that since magic was lost from the world has progressed in technology to the point where you can compare it to early 20th century.


At the moment I have three plotlines

1. Anthorn bringing, or at least attempting to bring the Guardians into the modern era by making them more like the Police of our world. His story is investigating a spate of murders and disappearances that connect to a group called the Dumas Erandi that are kidnapping women for a breeding program to try and produce an offspring that has magical abilities. Nikita trying to discover what happened to her sister sixteen years ago while investigating the Dumas Erandi's connection to her father's company. So I have those two threads linked.

2. War breaking out in the north with the formation of a New Empire thanks to a woman claiming to be a Sorceress and the southlands preparing for such an attack. This would be the Guardians who are still stuck in the past more or less.

3. A mercenary group travelling across the world to find an artefact required by Silendra. This would tie into the main plot of the series. The trouble is that 2 and 3 are so far separated from 1 that they could easily have a book of their own.

It just seems that everything I had planned is changing. It now seems more evident that Anthorn and NIKITA's character arc will last for a book instead of them being the main characters throughout. This is annoying because Anthorn's backstory is directly connected to the Dumas Erandi, as him being a result of breeding program. And story between Nikita and Sarana is key to the success of Silendra's plan.

It just feels like a mess at the moment.

 

[tinkerdan]

I'm almost confused by all the names.

I assume Sarana is Nikita's sister but not sure.

I would concentrate on 1 and see how far you can go without having to dwell in either 2 or 3 and that should determine what role 2 and 3 if any must play in that initial story line.[You may have to sketch out some of two and three separately to get a better sense of things but do them as though they are just that; separate.] If they need introduction within story-line 1 then bring them in but try not to fully engage the exact thread they are working toward. There might be some question in readers minds why they are there when they seem to dead end, but if they have to be introduced to take you from 1 to 2 and 3 then they have to be introduced.

If two and three can coexist in the next part then develop their story-lines then. maybe two book or three or two parts to one book or three parts. Not sure how you are planning to present all of this. It might all depend on how many words it takes to get you to the end.

 

[psychotick]

Hi,

I can't work out who your characters / groups are. The guardians in 1 - how are they related to the guardians in 2? And are these guardians preparing for an attack or are they causing the attack in the north with whoever the sorcerous is? What does this feud between Anwar and Silendra and what does it have to do with Silendra sending out these mercs? And where do Anthorn and Nikita fit into any of this? As it is I'm just looking at names and wondering what connection aby of them have to any of the others.

Could I suggest writing a blurb? It might make more sense and sharpen your plot problems.

Cheers, Greg.

 

[anthorn]

There is a Guardian base in every country, usually they are mainly based in the main city of that country. The Guardians preparing for a possible war are in Caraksand where the main base of the Guardians are. The Guardians investigating murder are in a different city, and are much smaller in numbers. Those in Caraksand are still mired in tradition and reasoning of why they were originally formed centuries ago. (Keep an eye out for the possible return of the End-Lords, and or magic.)
The war between Silendra and Anwyn resulted in the death of magic 500 years before the story began. Basically, Silendra wanted to return to her homeland because she was missing her children, but Anwyn was against that as it would alert their enemies. Seeing how Anwyn had control of the crystal they used to open a portal, she had the final say. They ended up fighting each other and Anwyn won. When she won she trapped Silendra within the crystal and fashioned a false life out of it. (This was the cause of the beginning of magic's end) Silendra managed to create an Aspect of herself and started plotting in the background, turning everyone against Anwyn. (Aspects are basically a copy of that person, but weaker and able to take the form of anyone dead) Eventually a war was started which saw Anwyn escape death in a similar manner. (and destroy magic altogether)

Silendra's son Gideon hires the mercenaries on her behalf to travel to an ancient city where he believes the crystal is hidden. Neither of them know that Anwyn created a false life from it.

The Dumas Erandi are a group dedicated to bringing back magic and by doing this they find suitable women and men to breed with others who have End-Lord blood, or the blood of a Sorceress. Anthorn's mother was kidnapped, gave birth to him, escaped, coincidently bumped into Silendra's Aspect and Gideon who saw potential. They sent her back to Caraksand where Anthorn became a Guardian where he'd learn about the End-Lords and want to harm them so they could use him to kill Anwyn.

The Dumas Erandi invested in Nikita's father's business which as a result became very successful. As payment he was to give them his first born to them. He instead sent them to a school on Lull where through a series of events are found by the Dumas Erandi. Only Nikita escapes and meets Anthorn who is out training. Years later they meet again while Nikita is investigating the Dumas Erandi's involvement in her business and Anthorn the disappearances.

 

[psychotick]

Hi,

Ok, still confused but think I have the gist. What you have as far as I can see is a classic two part story. Part one is what I'd call pre-magic. All the other parts, Anthorn, Nikita, and the guardians carry on, do their warring, hunting down murderer etc etc. And in the back ground these mercs are heading for the crystal to return the magic. At the end of book one that happens as something one of the others eg Anthorn does, impacts and magic returns in a flash bang whizz.

The return of magic starts book two where your new plots would seem to be Silendra still trying to get home, the guardians (police ones) suddenly having to deal with an entirely new set of problems - magic murderers? Esapes? Anthors (and Nikita?) having magic and dealing with it, and this war heating up. (Honestly I don't see how the war relates save as background to the story.)

Your main difficulty as best I can tell is that you have three unrelated stories trying to work together. Silendra etc and her mercs. The war guardians. And the Anthor thread. They don't really seem to have any direct connection with one another. It's connecting them that's going to tie the book into one whole.

I'd suggest reading Hugh Cook's classic W and W series (can't remember its name but every book in the series has a title like the witches and the walrus or the wizards and the warlock) and they all take place during the same war. The books aren't actually sequals so much as contemporaneous stories set over the same span of time. To do that - what I remember from an interview I read at least - was that he began by plotting out the overarching war with a detailed time line. Then the other stories were grafted into this historical timeline one by one. In short it's like he wrote the history of say WWII and then plotted his character arcs across the world, into that framework.

Cheers, Greg.

 

[Chris Guillory]

It would seem that these multiple plotlines may make up entire books! What if you chose two that absolutely MUST intertwine, while during the story the other elements are merely hinted, or brought up in conversation. For example, one of your ideas is a great distance away and two characters are discussing some far away war in the north? Shelf the idea, focus on your current story, and circle back. In addition, when readers come across this in the sequel, it won't be a surprise.

 

[anthorn]

You mean like Steven Erikson did with Deadhouse Gates and Memories of Ice?

 

[Chris Guillory]

Yup, Abercrombie as well in the First Law trilogy.

 

[FibonacciEddie]

I feel like the 3 separate threads are a bit much too.

It is good to have a personal story superimposed onto more large-scale story; I would stick with the Guardians and the War ... leave the mercenaries (or as Chris says - hint about then only)

just an opinion