A syntax/grammar conundrum ... please help!

[FibonacciEddie]

I am writing in 3rd Person Close

There is a scene where the protagonist (Louise) is trying to get their husband to hurry up. The scene is written (hopefully) from Louise's POV.

I would benefit from advice on how to manage the difference between indirect and direct thought.

As is written ...

***
Louise turned back to the kitchen biting back the expletives naturally forming in her head. Yes, Jeff had worked late on Friday at the University, but ... ‘I’m not rising to it Jeff. You had all of yesterday to recover. We agreed 10am.’
***

Would you mark the phrase "Yes, Jeff had worked late on Friday at the University, but ..."
as Direct Thought or Indirect Thought. Can it work as Indirect Thought? Is it too long for Direct Thought?

Any opinions (or guidelines) gratefully welcomed.

(and for the kind people who gave me a critique over the last few days, I will be responding in 24hr or soon after - thanks)

 

[Jo Zebedee]

I would say it was direct thoughts and worked fine as such. (To be picky the repeat of back jarred, though... )

 

[J Riff]

works, but the ellipsis.... is... maybe....
...worked late at the university on Friday but she'd told him, "I'm not rising..."

 

[Ursa major]

In a past tense narrative, indirect thoughts will be tethered on the past tense, direct thoughts on the present tense. I say tethered, because that's the tense around which the text operates. It doesn't mean all direct thoughts are in, say, the present tense.

Looking at

Yes, Jeff had worked late on Friday at the University, but ...

this is pluperfect (well, Past Perfect) meaning that it's probably tethered on the past tense, but describing something that happened before. If it had been tethered on the present tense, it would have been

Yes, Jeff worked late on Friday at the University, but ...

 

[HareBrain]

Ursa's right. As it's written, the "had" means it can only be indirect. And that's how I'd keep it, personally -- long direct thoughts feel unnatural.