Conversation in main character's head

[juelz4sure]

I was wondering if i could get some advice on this. The story is written in 1st person and my main character is having a conversation with himself but i don't want to confuse the reader in what's going on. It's just the main character no one else. Should I make it it's own paragraph or what?

 

[Jo Zebedee]

I'd give it its own paragraph and add in a few actions to help the reader along.

I flung my hands in the air; I wasn't making any sense even to me. "Look," I said, firmly.

 

[MatterSack]

Maybe create two sub-characters, and refer to them as individuals? E.g.:

'It'll be alright,' said the Optimist cheerfully. 'Don't worry so much.'
'Alright?...' replied the Pessimist, always quick to retort. 'Alright?... Remember what happened last time?!'

 

[The Judge]

It rather depends on how much conversation there is and how much precedes it. eg "I kicked the door. 'You're stupid,' I told myself. 'You should never have let the llamas into the lamasary.' " is fine all in the same paragraph. But if the preceding thoughts go on for several sentences and then he starts talking out loud for several more, then having the dialogue in a separate para might be best. I think the only important thing is to ensure the readers know he's alone and he is talking to himself, not having a conversation with someone they've forgotten is in the room and/or an invisible friend.

 

[tinkerdan]

Sometimes thoughts are italicized and this sounds like a good opportunity for that. That might help the editor's too.

Editors can be your best friends and greatest frustrations.

I had a novel with telepathic characters and one character despite knowing about the telepathy verbalized everything; yet somehow the editors missed that affectation and thought that they were thinking it and they wanted to italicize since it was a thought and their style guide called for thoughts be be set off with italics in or out of quotes. I had to tell them it was to stay as it was and point out what I thought should have been obvious and in the end I sat for quite some time trying to figure out how to rephrase the narrative to clarify the point.

Never fear; someone will get confused.

 

[juelz4sure]

My main character is an investigator that sees supernatural thing angels, demons and creatures of the fey. Anyways he's introducing himself and trying to make a point about why cops tend not to pay him for his occasional help. The conversation with himself is playing out a court hearing with the main character explaining how he saw a fallen angel kill someone and other details, and how the defendants lawyer would make the main character look crazy on the stand causing the case to be thrown out.

 

[Ray McCarthy]

Brian Stapleford "Grainger" stories. He's chatting in his head to a symbiote

 

[feralreason]

I was wondering if i could get some advice on this. The story is written in 1st person and my main character is having a conversation with himself but i don't want to confuse the reader in what's going on. It's just the main character no one else. Should I make it it's own paragraph or what?

Just looked at first chapter of "The Moon is a Harsh Mistress", a good example of this. Heinlein seems to just use regular paragraph breaks throughout - nothing special - with a sentence that transitions us to the conversation.

Example: 'I took it, time plus bonus, but did not go into circuitry where fault logically should be. Once inside and door locked I put down tools and sat down. "Hi, Mike."
He winked lights at me. "Hello, Man." '

So he is communicating the change from internal dialog to external dialog with a brief description of his physical positioning, immediately followed by "dialog", without any special paragraph change other than the normal changes we would expect in good composition.

 

[Swank]

Example: 'I took it, time plus bonus, but did not go into circuitry where fault logically should be. Once inside and door locked I put down tools and sat down. "Hi, Mike."
He winked lights at me. "Hello, Man." '

Are we calling first person narration 'dialog'? I don't see a conversation.


I wouldn't write a two sided conversation that takes place in your head unless you want to differentiate internal characters for humor's sake. I would write it as a retelling of the conversation in paraphrase.

 

[msstice]

Are we calling first person narration 'dialog'? I don't see a conversation.


I wouldn't write a two sided conversation that takes place in your head unless you want to differentiate internal characters for humor's sake. I would write it as a retelling of the conversation in paraphrase.

Seinfeld's brain cap fascinated me. Many episodes of that show are ageless and, frankly, genius.

 

[ColGray]

There's also the fight club route:

I am Jack's crushing sense of irony.

I am Juelz4sure mental pitter-patter.

​

 

[Swank]

There's also the fight club route:

I am Jack's crushing sense of irony.

I am Juelz4sure mental pitter-patter.

​

That ship has sailed.

 

[ColGray]

I am ColGray's stone-faced witness to the obvious.
I am ColGray's unsurprised casualty of predictability.
I am ColGray's stale echo of expectations met.
I am ColGray's shrug that knew this was coming.
I am ColGray's deadpan response to the inevitable.
I am ColGray's yawn that greets the expected disaster.
I am ColGray's unblinking eye of predictability.
I am ColGray's flatline on the heart monitor of shock.