Thanks, Ju. Timehops were a real problem right up to the last edit and then Teresa explained to me that sometimes it's not what you leave out that's the problem, but what you need to leave in. So I had three scenes in flashbacks later that Teresa asked me to put into the story in realtime, which added about 15k to the start, but helped the flow. (I don't know how interesting/useful this is but we are a writer's forum as well as reader's.)
I'll go under a spoiler for which scenes they were.
I'll go under a spoiler for which scenes they were.
The scenes were - the one where the children return to the base and Karia lands the ship - previously I'd stopped when the beacon was connected and jumped to the last scene with Ealyn and the kids
Also, then, the scene where they leave the base - which added a lot I think to the relationship between Kare and Rjala
The two chapters where Kare and Silom escape from Dignad.
Also, then, the scene where they leave the base - which added a lot I think to the relationship between Kare and Rjala
The two chapters where Kare and Silom escape from Dignad.