can any one help me write a girls vampire fight scene?

[Taylor official]

The scene is between two vampire's... Except one of them has her sent hidden so the otherone can't sense it. The main character, blaze is like a reserved somewhat lost but has a temper because of things in her past. The girl who she fights is someone who has targeted her since her 2nd week of school. This fight is in schools hall ways. Anyways please help me. I'll take any idea into consideration!!

 

[tinkerdan]

It's not the fight that will count. Well; unless you're writing trash fiction. But I'd say study some street fighting if they are both Vamps and are used to fighting.

You need more precise explanation here though.

Is Blaze the one that has no SCENT or is it this other girl and do either of them know the other is a Vampire or is this a whole school of vampires-wait I don't think they swim in schools-but the point is important to helping figure out what is obvious and what misconceptions exist at the beginning of the fight..

Anyway if they don't know each other would either of them try to fight normals just for fun. If so which one. Would either of them prefer to leave normals alone but still have no compunction about hurting the normal that pushes things.

This is all going to be about the setup.

Maybe one won't fight normals till pushed and the other likes to pick on normals so there will be this sort of shadow dance where the one holding off won't give ground because eventually she figures she has nothing to lose with a normal, but she also doesn't want to just squash one.

The other might like to tease the normals until they strike out so she can squish them in an instant.

Or they could be both like the first example or both like the second example. Each way will determine how the fight starts and how long it takes to get to the real confrontation.

Who's POV will it be?
That's important to determine where to put in the emotions that happen as the misconceptions are cleared up and showing how they react until you get to the real fight.

Did I say emotions-do your vamps have emotions?

But overall you could insert any good believable fight here at the end as long as you make the journey to the fight as realistic as you can.

 

[psychotick]

Hi,

So it's a fight between two vampire girls(?) in a school, one of whom has somehow masked her scent(?) so that the other won't realise that she's a vampire?

I'm guessing that the other will realise that she's a vampire the moment her teeth come out, and that this will be a fight in which hair pulling and slapping won't play a major role.

Could I suggest outlining what exactly the powers of your vampires are before you start writing the fight. Super speed and strength is going to make a mess of the hallway and if they were trying to hide what they were from everyone else - well that hope's gone. Also do they have claws? Is their instinct to bite? Are they into punching? Is it to the death?

Cheers, Greg.

 

[K.S. Crooks]

Some questions that you may want to answer before you start writing. What is the purpose of the fight? For me a good fight scene starts with the reason for the fight. It needs to be something more than the people involved wanting to beat up/kill each other. A fight taking place when a bomb will explode in eight minutes has more tension than a fight where they can take all the time they want. For you perhaps having the fight close to when other students or teachers will arrive for school.
What is to gained by either person if they win? There needs to be something more at stake besides their well-being. Whether it is exposure as a vampire, further torment or something different.
How will the fight progress? This is dependent on the knowledge and skill of your characters plus their vampire powers if they have any. If your characters are really high school students and not century old vampires pretending to be high school students, like in Twilight, then they should fight like high school kids. If you have never seen one or can't remember then check on you tube. Students love to film school fights. Take your pick from these to start https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=high+school+girl+fights . If your characters are actually old then they would have picked up techniques through the years.
How will a win be determined? If your protagonist wants nothing to do with the other girl then she should flee at the earliest opportunity. If she is standing her ground to take on a bully, then she may want to extend the fight until there are witnesses to see her win. Real fights are not pretty and clean. There will be at least minor injuries, perhaps major one as well. Property will be damaged and evidence left behind even if no else witness the fight. If Blaze fights back or can even evade the attack, the other girl will instantly know she is a vampire. She may decide to change tactics when this happens. Another aspect to consider is that some schools have cameras in the hallways that would record the fight. This is an option that is reasonable to go either way. Hope this helps.

 

[Phyrebrat]

Hi Taylor,

I wonder if you're ready to commit this story to paper yet. Asking other people to help you with ideas is a bit of a - well - odd thing to ask; as a writer isn't it your job to come up with the story? I might be misunderstanding your question here, and if so, just ignore me

What my advice would be is to become an effective observer. Not just of conflict in schools, but of people in general. You're writing about people with lives here - people who do things even when you've not written about them in your story. Once you've nailed your characters' personalities, it will make things so much easier for you to decide on how this fight happens, because your characters will be acting from a place of authenticity, and true to their convictions.

There are two podcasts I'd recommend you listen to (both are under 20 mins each episode); Writing Excuses, and Helping Writers Become Authors.

Check them out and see what you think.

All the best,

pH

 

[Denise Tanaka]

Hi Taylor,

I'm assuming because you asked the question that you don't have much experience actually fighting? Even if you do, that may or may not help. Writing fight scenes is not so much about the choreography but (as others have commented) it's about the WRITING of characters, motivations, and believable depiction of emotion.

That said, I also struggled for a long time with writing fight scenes. I've come up with a few ways to get around my mental stumbling blocks.

(1) set the stage for the fight's location in advance. You said it is a school hallway? I expect by now you have described your characters walking here, standing to chat, etc. Before you get into the fight, the reader should have a clear idea of where things are. When the fight begins and your characters shove each other into a doorknob, a fire extinguisher, or a steel locker, it is a familiar object. I hate reading fight scenes where things "appear" just as the character needs it. So, no janitor's cart full of cleaning supplies such as brooms to break in half and make vampire stakes, please!!

(2) choreograph the action from all angles ahead of time. If you don't have buddies to act it out with you? (I have seen this done at conventions and it is very entertaining) Use props like children's toys or sketch stick figures. Your thoughts will be less distracted by the logical mechanics of what-goes-where, who-kicked-what, and you can more easily enter that semi-REM meditative writing state of mind. Your focus should be on the EMOTIONS, the fear, the rage, the intensity.

And... welcome to the Chronicles!

 

[psychotick]

Hi,

Just to add to what Denise said - choreographing the fights can be useful. Robert E Howard used to do this, playing with broomsticks etc and using them as swords. It's not so much about choreography though and more about getting to grips with the fundamentals of how the weapons work.

But still you have to work out what weapons your vamps have before you can work out how they use them.

Cheers, Greg.

 

[Avid Scifi Fan]

Taylor,

The story is yours and only you can decide what happens. It's good to seek the opinions of others in case it sheds light on something you haven't thought of, but it's still up to you. I offer you a few questions to think about for your story:

Does she win or lose the fight?
Is this a final battle scene or just one of many small spats early on?
Does this fight build something with the character (new moves, techniques, skills, etc)?
Who starts the fight, Blaze? or the antagonist?
Do they become friends afterwards and go onto meet other challenges together?

I think my point is the fight scene should not be just a fight scene for the sake of action, but should fit into the overall plot and move the story forward in some way. You hinted at Blaze being bullied by this particular character, so you already have parts set up. You need to decide where you need the plot to go with this (if your plotting as you go) and write accordingly.