Yeah, I know I'm crazy

[satyesu]

For those two of you who didn't read in my last thread, I have OCD. A large portion. I'm troubled by this monster right now:

To preface, many times I'll be going down a train of thought and will get "snagged" - my subconscious will take issue, for little or no reason, with some thought and if I don't stop, address that thought, and consciously dismiss it, something I'm doing at the time will feel "tainted" and I'll have to stop what I was doing. For example, as I type this I keep getting snagged and, when I try to just keep going, I feel like I need to start writing words over.

Yesterday or so, while on Wikipedia, I had an idea for my novel. While reading the inspiring text more actively or something (A reading problem snags me too), I snagged and didn't stop. Now I feel like I need to trash the idea because, even if it's quality, I had it while doing something "tainted" - not paying attention to the snag to see if it was a valid warning before moving on.

This "ill-gotten" idea, I fear, might put me a Planck's length "ahead" of other authors who would like an award for, say, a first novel. That's not why I write, but It'd be welcome.

I'm thinking all this is crazy, but I need to know why. Help!

 

[Venusian Broon]

Hi Satyesu,

When you say you have OCD, do you mean it has been diagnosed by a medical professional? And if so, did they suggested possible solutions?

I'm afraid I, apart from a few minor quirks, don't really know what it is like to suffer OCD and therefore know very little about the condition and what is being done in the wider community to help sufferers. I understand you are looking for fellow writers with the condition here and what they have done to combat their issues, but perhaps another suggestion would be to look into getting into contact with forums and groups that specifically deal with OCD, who I suspect will have more information and help for you.

p.s. I'm a tad uncomfortable at the use of your word crazy - I know you only apply it to yourself - however it seems to me a pejorative word to describe what can be such a debilitating condition, that as you will be aware from your own experiences, many suffer through no fault of their own.

 

[Verse]

It certainly sounds like OCD (from my layman's understanding), especially with the idea of snagging and how an idea can be tainted because it occurred when you were experiencing the snagging (intrusive thoughts?). However, I agree with VB above. This is not the right forum for you to be soliciting help.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

Firstly, I'm with VB. Have you been diagnosed? If so, what sort of treatment have you had? CBT, for instance. I don't have OCD, thank the lord, but I'm not unfamiliar with the concept of the thoughts that go along with it - the intrusive thoughts, I think they're commonly called. They're nasty and horrid and can be very, very hard to dismiss.

If you've had treatment for them and are still finding the impulses too loud to cope with, go back and talk to your GP. Don't be fobbed off with there's nothing anyone can do - there is. But it takes a lot of work from you, and from whoever helps you on the journey. In the meantime, best of luck with it. (And, yes, it can feel like you're going 'crazy', I'm sure, but more people than you ever know suffer from something in the mental health arena, and we can't all be crazy. )