Agent: How lack of pace or conflict can kill good writing

[Brian G Turner]

Literary agent Kristin Nelson explains how even if she loves the writing, lack of pace or conflict can kill her interest in the story:

For submissions, I’m pretty certain that writers assume that if the writing is good, an agent is going to be interested in offering representation to the author.

No doubt–good writing is essential but as an agent, I’ve passed on any number of submissions that exhibited some stellar writing. Why? Doesn’t talent trump all? Nope.

#1 Reason I Pass Even If The Writing Is Good
#2 Reason I Pass Even If The Writing Is Good

 

[MWagner]

This comment after entry #1 caught my eye:

The best tip I learned for pacing I learned from South Park writers in a clip posted online. The beats of your story should be connected by the invisible words “BUT” or “THEREFORE”, not “AND THEN.” “AND THEN” means your pacing is wrong, your tension falls off, and your story’s boring. BUT or THEREFORE keep the story hurtling forward, even if it’s a quiet story.
​

Seems like a useful little rule of thumb.

 

[Hex]

I love that rule -- it's in Storyteller Tools as well, and if I get stuck on a scene I'll go through it using:

Character does X BUT Y happened, so character does Z BUT... etc

 

[AnyaKimlin]

I now have a desire to make sure But then and therefore go in my story. I've never managed more than a but.

 

[Gary Compton]

This comment after entry #1 caught my eye:

The best tip I learned for pacing I learned from South Park writers in a clip posted online. The beats of your story should be connected by the invisible words “BUT” or “THEREFORE”, not “AND THEN.” “AND THEN” means your pacing is wrong, your tension falls off, and your story’s boring. BUT or THEREFORE keep the story hurtling forward, even if it’s a quiet story.
​

Seems like a useful little rule of thumb.

What you can do in Word is search and highlight those words. So when you read through you can see.

I recently did and edit where there were 500 instances of smiling, grinning, chuckling. I brought that to the attention of the author and they got rid of 70% of them.

I always do this to "was" as well.

 

[Ogma]

Is therefore really invisible? I would have thought therefore stuck out like a soar thumb.

 

[Hex]

I think what it means is that things relate with a "BUT". When you're planning it looks like -- e.g. The witch wants to eat the children BUT they are too thin THEREFORE she locks the boy up and forces him to eat sweets BUT he tricks her by pretending not to gain weight...

Bits of your story can be like that too -- only the "BUT" isn't actually there, it's about the relationship between the pieces ("BUT" is conflict, "AND THEN" is just progression)

 

[J5V]

The use of "…but…" indicates that the obstacle is unexpected.

It should surprise the reader, frustrate the character into a new course of action, keep the story moving.

Perhaps the better stories are those that create ripples that run through networks of characters and events, making changes along the way, and a big change near the end.

 

[Denise Tanaka]

It is SO HARD for me to weed these wiggle-words out of my writing. My day job is legal secretary where I MUST use passive voice and pad paragraphs with thus, therefore, and such.

 

[E.Maree]

The BUT/THEREFORE/AND THEN rule is for use when plotting a story/doing a rough outline, it's not a guideline for the prose itself. Writer Janice Hardy explains the South Park example and how to use it in her blog post "The Best Advice on Plotting I've Ever Heard".