Tumblr - Slush Pile Hell

[Brian G Turner]

The claim is that these are actual queries received by an actual agent...

SlushPile Hell

Just so everyone knows what they are up against when seeking an agent.

 

[Parson]

Stunned! I assume that these are actual queries. But can that be? The writers can seldom even write a coherent sentence. By this standard a non-writer like myself would not be the worst an agent would read in a day.

 

[pambaddeley]

Well there is the apocryphal tale of the novel written in green crayon on toilet paper ....

 

[Dan Jones]

Wonderful stuff!

 

[Brian G Turner]

Stunned! I assume that these are actual queries. But can that be? The writers can seldom even write a coherent sentence. By this standard a non-writer like myself would not be the worst an agent would read in a day.

For some reason I once ended up getting a few queries a few years ago, and I can assure you that they read like those in that list.

 

[Denise Tanaka]

I feel very sad now.

 

[psychotick]

Hi,

Oh dear, I feel so sad for the poor old agent! Really I do! Perhaps Mssr Grumpy should take some time on the other end of the letter chain, waiting forever while responses to queries never come.

Cheers, Greg.

 

[The Bluestocking]

In the immortal words of Jarvis: "Good Lord!"

 

[Gonk the Insane]

I feel very sad now.

Yep. But it's also (in a rather weird way) good, too, because it means that with a little bit of effort, a professional, considered approach immediately gives you an advantage over such queries.

 

[E.Maree]

QueryShark is a great look into the querying process too -- she workshops the queries into a good state, but some of the initial efforts are shocking!