Self-critiquing deep PoV (close-third) – tips?

NbDawn

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Critiquing my own work is not easy. I’m relatively new to writing in deep PoV (or close-third as some call it). I’ve read up on it and have been practicing it because I really like the idea of writing in deep PoV. But I have no one to tell me whether I’m doing it correctly. I will get beta readers in the future, but for now I’d just like a little guidance. When reading over my work, what should I look for and what questions should I be asking myself in order to make sure I am using this technique properly?
 
I'm bad for this so I've had to get used to being very vigilant with my writing, but I think the key thing is when reading back to ask: am I seeing this from inside or outside my character's head? And: what is my character thinking here? If you find yourself seeing things outside your characters head, like a sweet pan-shot from a movie, and you've lost track of their mind somewhere, that's where the POV can drift most in my experience.

Chances are if you've got a big chunk of description, you're not seeing it from your character's eyes. Can be tricky when you're trying to set the scene initially, but if you're in a place that your character knows well, he's probably not going to be thinking about the intricate patterning on the doilies on the table in front of him, but he might be thinking about how cold and bitter the coffee is and god, why do I keep coming here, cos it sure aint for the good coffee.

(eg: Internal thoughts are your friend :) )

maybe putting up a bit you're concerned about in the critiques section will help - that way you can get more tailored feedback.
 
Critiquing my own work is not easy. I’m relatively new to writing in deep PoV (or close-third as some call it). I’ve read up on it and have been practicing it because I really like the idea of writing in deep PoV. But I have no one to tell me whether I’m doing it correctly. I will get beta readers in the future, but for now I’d just like a little guidance. When reading over my work, what should I look for and what questions should I be asking myself in order to make sure I am using this technique properly?

Two thoughts

Critique others' work for closeness.
Get a critique on a section, Even if it's terrifying.

I write very deep third point of view - pretty much as close as I can go. I keep it in the characters's voice. One big enemy is filter words - saw, heard, thought, seen, watched etc.

But, really, until we see a section it's hard to know what you are nailing and what you're not (I'd also be happy to look at a very short section by PM if it helps - max 1000 words.)
 
It can be really difficult without third-party input. If you put up your first 1500 words up in the Critiques section, you'll likely get feedback on the areas in which you may be going wrong. If you do that, though, steel yourself for criticism - but it should prove very useful. :)
 
This is something I'm still struggling with. Jo is the queen of close 3rd, so I would definitely let her look at a short bit, and I would second Brian's suggestion too. The critiques section is agony at times but oh-so-useful. You'll get lots of good tips there.
 
Deep POV, close-third, can be hugely successful at connecting characters and readers. One of the things I look for is whether the narration reflects the character's tone and personality.

An external third person narrator might say: "Though the hour was early, the streets still populated themselves with the odd shopper. Some had clearly risen for a pre-dawn doorbuster, but others gathered themselves and their misplaced keys to shuffle home at last."

A close third person narrator might say: "Monica groaned. How did she let him talk her into getting up so early? The living didn't rise this early; it was unnatural!

"'Fudge!' She swore, swerving around a drunk as he stumbled off the curb and into the street. She checked the rearview out of reflex as she passed. In the amber street light she saw him fishing around the pavement for something -- likely his keys--, and hoped the next driver didn't make a smear of him.

"Stopping for a red, she squinted out the window at abberant mortals as they crowded around the too-bright entrance of a Macy's.

"Dear sweet baby Jesus on ice! What was that woman wearing!

"Leopard print and virulent pink polkadots danced nervously at the back of the crowd, hypnotizing Monica at the wheel.

"Had she even bothered to change out of her pajamas? Were those pajamas? She was clearly too old for those to be her pajamas."

Both approaches give similar setting information, but one is an observer's description of something, while the other is a person's personal experience of the moment observed. The benefit of the latter is how much information you can convey about the character's personality and personal views while still setting the scene without the need for infodumping later.
 
I agree that Close Narrative Distance is hard to self-critique. Having a second (or third!) set of eyes can be pretty helpful, if those sets of eyes know what to look for. What I would suggest first would be to scan your work for filter words-- saw, heard, smelled, thought, felt, liked, etc, and then rewording in the way your POV character would think.
 

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