Tough Descriptive Passage - how would you tweak this?

[sozme]

Trying to SHOW a character hawking a giant loogie right into the face of a judge sitting some 40 feet away from him. Needless to say, it is a borderline supernatural feat. Wondering if you could make any suggestions to improve my description?
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Cannon cleared his throat in a loud rasp, arching himself backwards on the bench. In one fluid movement, he cocked himself forward, releasing a gob of white spittle. The loogie arced through the air, time seeming to slow before it landed with splat on the dead-center of Kane’s forehead.

The old Ranger’s eyes widened in shock as a hand moved to brush the spittle. In an instant, his large jowled-face was transformed into a dangerous shade of bright purple. Veins the size of thick cords bulged from his neck as he jolted out of his seat. High Commandant Enderon, a stocky black Ranger lurched out of the adjacent seat to restrain him from jumping over the dais. “I’ll kill you!” Kane screamed, spittle flying from his mouth. “I’ll f***** kill you!”
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[Phyrebrat]

I'd save spittle for Kane's reaction. We don't use loogie in the uk (I think) but it's clear in the context what it is.

Also: how big is a big cord? A cord can be, I don't know, a millimetre to a metre? I'd be more precise or just say 'cord'.

Large jowled face is awkward. I'd be inclined to make mention of cheese and shuddering jowls, or fungal. You could make the jowly git sound more repulsive.

Maybe give him a small mean mouth. Google 'Donald Trump'

pH

 

[TheDustyZebra]

Cannon cleared his throat in a loud rasp, arching himself backwards on the bench. In one fluid movement, he cocked himself forward, releasing a gob of white spittle. The loogie arced (arced causes a slight pause coming after arched above) through the air, time seeming to slow before it landed (time landed?) with (a) splat on the dead-center of Kane’s forehead. (dead-center on Kane's forehead?)

The old Ranger’s eyes widened in shock as a hand moved to brush the spittle. (Whose hand? All by itself?) In an instant, his large jowled-face (large-jowled face, if you're using that) was (not necessary -- passive) transformed into a dangerous shade of bright purple. Veins the size of thick cords bulged from his neck as he jolted out of his seat. (He jolted out of his seat, thick veins bulging from his neck?) High Commandant Enderon, a stocky black Ranger (comma) lurched out of the adjacent seat to restrain him from jumping over the dais. (Dais is generally the platform they're sitting on.) “I’ll kill you!” Kane screamed, spittle flying from his mouth. “I’ll f***** kill you!”

 

[Brian G Turner]

I think spittle is used to describe to flecks of saliva, not a big hunk of loogie. You've also used the word 3 times.

What stands out most for me is that Cannon only exists in the first line. After that, we see nothing of him and it's all very objective and somewhat over-described. Over time you'll probably learn to centre the scene around a POV character and their experience, which means we'd focus more on Cannon's seething feelings of rebellion.

 

[Nick B]

Cannon is the main character/good guy right? If so, I really wouldn't have him do this. Maybe it is just me, but if an mc did this I would lose all sympathy with him immediately. Its just a real problem I have with spitting.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

Cannon is the main character/good guy right? If so, I really wouldn't have him do this. Maybe it is just me, but if an mc did this I would lose all sympathy with him immediately. Its just a real problem I have with spitting.

I think it largely depends what you want from your main character and how you write it. I mean, Begbie does some seriously vile stuff in Trainspotting yet we still identify with him. People spit. Nice people spit, if provoked. It wouldn't be a rule out for me if I'm sufficiently invested.

For me, with my writing style this scene would read in about 50 words with no description whatsoever. I really need to work on my descriptive capacities.

 

[VinceK]

Cannon cleared his throat in a loud rasp and arched backwards on the bench. As lithe as a spitting cobra, he cocked himself forward, releasing a gob of white spittle. It arced through the air in slow motion — landing with splat on the old Ranger’s forehead.

Kane brushed away the spittle, his large jowled-face transformed into a dangerous shade of purple. Thick cord like veins bulged from his neck as he leapt up out of his seat. High Commandant Enderon, a stocky black Ranger, lurched from the adjacent seat to restrain him.

“I’ll kill you!” Kane screamed, spittle flying from his mouth. “I’ll f***** kill you!”

Just some variation on what's already been suggested.

 

[Toby Frost]

Cannon is the main character/good guy right? If so, I really wouldn't have him do this. Maybe it is just me, but if an mc did this I would lose all sympathy with him immediately. Its just a real problem I have with spitting.

I wouldn’t go this far, but I’d be careful. If all he does is defy authority and throw his weight around, you’ll run the risk that he will look like a raging thug and, more importantly, the authority will look pointless. Authority, even the creaky small-town sort, exists for a reason and is often preferable to a lack of it. If he spends the entire book kicking down doors and shoving people out of the way, the question arises as to why this planet of gormless idiots has survived for this long (besides giving him an ass to kick). And of course even non-military authority has its ways of hitting back. Spitting on a judge in the UK would probably get you a conviction for assault and/or contempt of court and up to two years imprisonment, IIRC. In the Old West, which this reminds me of, it would get you killed.

 

[ErikB]

Trying to SHOW a character hawking a giant loogie right into the face of a judge sitting some 40 feet away from him. Needless to say, it is a borderline supernatural feat. Wondering if you could make any suggestions to improve my description?
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Cannon cleared his throat in a loud rasp, arching himself backwards on the bench. In one fluid movement, he cocked himself forward, releasing a gob of white spittle. The loogie arced through the air, time seeming to slow before it landed with splat on the dead-center of Kane’s forehead.

The old Ranger’s eyes widened in shock as a hand moved to brush the spittle. In an instant, his large jowled-face was transformed into a dangerous shade of bright purple. Veins the size of thick cords bulged from his neck as he jolted out of his seat. High Commandant Enderon, a stocky black Ranger lurched out of the adjacent seat to restrain him from jumping over the dais. “I’ll kill you!” Kane screamed, spittle flying from his mouth. “I’ll f***** kill you!”
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I might replace the word loogie which I know, but always sounds a bit "redneck" (no offense) with phlegm.

Fluid motion works but given that your character is about to spit it feels like a word play to emphasize the act. You could replace it with "smooth" or perhaps "swift" or "strong" etc.

I haven't read what others have already offered. So I'll leave it to the word shift suggestions. You can condense or revise or orchestrate the length in whatever manner seems best to get your point across.