Poem: Obsession

[dustinzgirl]

Obsession


I want to be your only obsession,
without thought nor will nor cessation.
Command me, force me unto your will,
consume me until I submit and lay still.
Devour me, consumate me as your own,
leave your fears behind closed doors.
Bring your soul to my open embrace,
and lay it upon my waiting breast.
Your heart should be my daily sustanance,
your darker prayers my religion.

I want you to beg of me as I beg of you,
to be washed clean in your desire.
Breathe in me your temple and altar,
all gold and brass and silver stone.
Bring me the hearts of your lovers,
and lay them still beating for my sacrifice.
Lay thier eyes and tongues open before me,
as I bring those who would trespass against thee.
Decieve me not with words prettily said,
but lay out your pain for me instead.

I want to infect you like a sickness,
burn slowly within your beating chest.
Breathe against me and I will be consumed,
and leave your temple tied to your bed.
Infect me in the depths of pure darkness,
worship me as your true godess.
Press your lips against my silent eyes,
and bless me within your sweet depths.
Force your hand against my temple,
as you worship at your trembling altar.

 

[Tsujigiri]

You are no stranger to passion! Very impressive!

 

[Stormflame]

Splendid. It is like there is a wild animal full of lust and caged passion ramming against the cages of your heart trying to get out. Keep it up. I just didn't expect the whole poem to be of such long length. But, yea, I works. Tantalizing.

 

[_Kitana_]

I love the detail you put forth mixed with heavy passion you put into it. Shows you really care about the peice.

 

[littlemissattitude]

I like that. It proves my point that one can put passion (of the kind that it obviously is) into a piece of writing without being explicitly graphic. Not that explicitness doesn't have its place, just that it isn't necessary to portraying sexual, sensual passion.

 

[freebird]

Awesome. Very Jim Morrisonesque.

 

[dustinzgirl]

Oddly enough, i was never a big morrison fan, i am more of a megdeth/black sabbath/suicidal tendancies kind of girl. LOL.

Thank you guys for your opinions.

 

[_Kitana_]

I like that. It proves my point that one can put passion (of the kind that it obviously is) into a piece of writing without being explicitly graphic. Not that explicitness doesn't have its place, just that it isn't necessary to portraying sexual, sensual passion.

I love open sexual passion. Which is why you find very little of my fantasy work ever getting posted here. I don't like to flower cover something that is already beautiful. To me the beauty of fantasy and the excitement of erotic writing were meant for each other. Anyways….

I like the darkness and desire this poem presents itself in. I almost feel like I am looking through a keyhole while feeling her thoughts. I love how she gives clues and describes her body as her lover’s temple. Giveing you just enough… to make you want to be embraced by something so sexual and beautiful, so you really get the overall feeling. The flow, word choices and rhythm all work surprisingly well. When most people forget one of those three, it is clear she didn‘t. It is also quite clear she spent a good time thinking and developing her word choice. DG is one of the few amateur writers who work truly inspires me in a lot of ways. I don’t see many people with her writing talent on message boards and the internet as whole much.

 

[dustinzgirl]

Interesting Kit, I would not have posted what I have without having read some of your poetry and writings, as such, you have been an inspiration of sorts to me, too.

 

[FelineEyes]

I liked the way it reads. It flows like a song.
(I think it may need music!)

 

[Daeman]

wow thats intense, I've never writtin ANYTHING that deep. well most of the songs/poetry I write ends up screemo rage type of stuff anyway, but this is something else completely. you have a real gift. you can translate emotion into word. I know I've felt that way a few times, theirs been times I've felt that way about a person for sure! I hope to see more of your poetry cause this piece made me feel emotions I thought were long dead and gone...a very powerful piece.


(have you writtin many songs before? or do you tend to stick to poetry?)

 

[dustinzgirl]

Thank you daemon. I mainly stick to poetry and stories, the universe did not see fit to imbue me with any musical or artistical talent. Seriously. My kids run out of the house when I sing.

 

[Daeman]

hahaha well you don't have to be a good singer to be a good song writer its really similar to poetry in every way , it just depeneds on wheather or not you can hear a rythm in your head or not.