Which is better background and motivation.

[anthorn]

I hate doing this, but here we go.

I have a character who plays a large part in the story as it is because of her relationship with her sister that a millennia old feud between two immortal sisters finally gets resolved. Trouble is, I've come up with several scenarios in which I can tell this story.

Here are the scenarios.

Scenario ONE.

Daughter of a wealthy merchant is expected to broker a deal between two countries while a rebel group hire her to spy on the military might of the country and it's military base so they could attack. If she does this they will let her know the location of her sister who went missing several years later in another country, after the sister abandoned her to be raped and kidnapped. She requests that the man who found her in the woods escort her, using him to learn more about the people she is about to spy on, manipulating him into loving her, as a way to escape should she get caught.

Scenario TWO.

Daughter of a wealthy merchant is expected to marry the King in order to foster a relationship between the two countries after a major war. Rebel group expect her to kill the King in return for finding the sister. She again requests this bloke and begins seeding the beginning of a relationship between the two in order to have a route to escape when she kills the King.

(Not too sure about this one as this merchant's country wasn't involved in the war at all)

Scenario THREE

Daughter of a wealthy merchant discovers that her father sold her and her missing sister to a mysterious group that intend to use them for a dangerous mission to an abandoned isle, in order to retrieve a crystal. She runs away and meets up with a wandering woman who offers to escort her north. The woman decides to go to where her father has contacts with the military to ask them for help in finding sister. She is unaware that her bodyguard was actually hired by her missing sister to protect her. She ends up meeting these people who are taking her on this dangerous mission and the same man who once saved her life, a man who is being sent on what just might be a suicide mission because his Commander does not like the fact that he's popular with people and will be voted in as Commander.

 

[Ihe]

Scenario 1 and 2 look to be interchangeable, except for the fact the MC feels guilty in 1, as she abandoned her sister to a horrible fate. I think scenario 3 is the least believable and a bit all over the place. Out of the 3 scenarios, the first one has more potential for drama and conflict, specially the internal kind, IMO, so I'll vote for 1.

 

[The Big Peat]

I tried to keep up with some useful questions but the only one I can think of right now is what do you like and dislike about each scenario?

I feel like there's a lot of info missing - why would she be a good spy/person to send on a dangerous mission/wife for a king? Who is this man who found her in the forest and when and why does he come?

 

[anthorn]

I tried to keep up with some useful questions but the only one I can think of right now is what do you like and dislike about each scenario?

I feel like there's a lot of info missing - why would she be a good spy/person to send on a dangerous mission/wife for a king? Who is this man who found her in the forest and when and why does he come?

She's a good spy/person to send, because they have leverage over her. I.E location of her sister, and because they don't really care if she dies or not, and because obviously, you're not going to suspect the Queen To Be or Merchant daughter from a country many people still view as a land of savages. This man who saved her was part of the military unit she is sent to spy on, who was on training missions when he encountered her in the woods after her sister was kidnapped. He escorted her to the nearest city so she could return home. He is sent to escort her 1. because he's next in line to become Commander and the old Commander doesn't like that, so he repeatedly sends him off on missions to keep him out of the city and earning support. 2. Because it's easier to manipulate someone you've met even just once.


I like them all.....

Scenario 1. It's tight, a more small group orientated scenario travelling from one country to the other.
It kind of peters out in book two and there doesn't seem to be a consequence for her actions.
After the other character kills the King, her storyline seems to fizzle out too.

I had thought that maybe once she arrives in the city she gets arrested as a traitor, having already been discovered as a spy. But it seems a bit far fetched for them to invite this person and arrest them rather than restricting their movements. Do you really want to risk another war after the previous one damaged your credibility?

Scenario 2. It gets rid of some characters from scenario 1.
It introduces other characters.
Still has those character moments from scenario 2.
Merchant daughter has a lot more to be worried about, can be more manipulative.
Combines the two plotlines of the downfall of the military unit and the country's descent into a republic.
Minor changes to another plotline.

Scenario 3. It combines three plotlines while disregarding another.
Some problems similar to scenario 1 with fizzling plot threads.
A lot of characters get where they need to be without the character development.
Makes no sense that she would end up with the people who burnt her house down.

 

[AnyaKimlin]

The unhelpful answer is it's very difficult to tell without knowing all the characters involved. You know them the most intimately which one is most believable taking into account all the personalities?

 

[anthorn]

Scenario 2...I think .

 

[AnyaKimlin]

Scenario 2...I think .

Then that's the best motivation. The least dramatic sounding motivation can be made very real and dramatic in the right story with the right characters whereas the most dramatic can come off as contrived with the wrong ones.

 

[RX-79G]

I don't think I understand: The "daughter of a wealthy merchant" is thousands of years old, and has been cooling her heals waiting to be married off in support of family business for all that time?

 

[anthorn]

I don't think I understand: The "daughter of a wealthy merchant" is thousands of years old, and has been cooling her heals waiting to be married off in support of family business for all that time?

Two different sisters.

 

[RX-79G]

Two different sisters.

Okay, two different sets of sisters - two young, and two very, very old. Makes sense.

 

[NbDawn]

I like scenario 1 best, 2 second-best, 3, last. I like 1 because I can see the plausibility in using a merchant as a spy and as the daughter of a merchant using her sex as a way to be manipulative. It seems more thought out than the other two scenarios as well. For 2, while it is plausible, it seems to stretch out on the believability a bit more. When I think of kings and nobility, the only reason I can see a king marrying a wealthy merchant is if her wealth is sufficient enough and his wealth is in danger of dwindling. I can see such a woman wanting to kill her king, but women by nature tend to kill by poison rather than by weapons. And depending on your era, it would be more difficult for the woman to cheat on the king than it would be for the king to cheat on her. So you'd need to think about how she could attract this other man and get him to do her bidding. The daughter of a merchant in the first scenario would probably have more freedom than the wife of a king in the second scenario. For 3, I'm not really following you on that one. It seems a lot more convoluted.