April 2017 75-word Writing Challenge -- VICTORY TO HOOPYFROOD!

[David Evil Overlord]

RULES:

Write a story inspired by the chosen theme and genre in no more than 75 words, not including the title

ONE entry per person


NO links, commentary or extraneous material in the posts, please -- the stories must stand on their own



WHEN WRITING YOUR STORY, PLEASE REMEMBER THIS IS A FAMILY-FRIENDLY FORUM


All stories Copyright 2017 by their respective authors

who grant the Chronicles Network the non-exclusive right to publish them here



The complete rules can be found at RULES FOR THE WRITING CHALLENGES


Contest ends at 11:59 pm GMT, April 23 2017

Voting ends at 11:59 pm GMT, April 28 2017


You do not have to submit a story in order to vote --

in fact, we encourage all Chrons members to take part in choosing a winner


The Magnificent Prize:

The Dignified Congratulations/Grovelling Admiration of Your Peers
and the challenge of choosing next month's theme and genre



Theme:

Play, Hobbies, and other Leisure Activities

Genre:

Fantasy



This thread to be used for entries only
Please keep all comments to the Discussion Thread


We invite (and indeed hope for) lively discussion and speculation about the stories as they are posted, as long as it doesn't involve the author explaining the plot


** Please do not use the "Like" button in this thread! **​

 

[BigJ]

The Human Engineer

He grows them. People, I mean. In vats; bellies take too long. Townsfolk say it’s magic, he says he just pulls the strings while they grow. Tinkering with them, always tinkering. Everybody needs a hobby, I guess.

The good ones go out on their own; philosophers, poets, warriors. The bad ones don’t see the light of day; axed.

He tried to make a copy of himself last month. Funny, he forgot my name after that.

 

[Cat's Cradle]

A Sporting Truce

Dwarves gnawed goblins’ ears, while goblins kneed groins somewhat lower than corncockles. The scrummage contested the oozing prize.

Umruud took possession and fled, then violently punted the orb. It shattered mid-air, mandible and cranium divorcing explosively. All stopped.

“That was the last prisoner!”

“Weaklings – their heads come too easily unhinged.”

“Our truce too unhinges. Dwarves rally – to arms!”

Humankind played no further part in that battle; ‘twas the day the strength of men’s heads failed.

 

[Talysia]

Who is the prey now?

Although some said it was barbaric, hunting was still his favourite pastime.

Ruling had been very stressful lately, so his vassals had risen early to scare the prey into flight. Without that advantage, there was no thrill to be had from the chase.

The Fox King smiled, fangs showing. His tail twitched in anticipation. Ahead of him, four dozen human nobles and courtiers were running for their lives.

‘Forward!’

The hunt was on!

 

[LittleStar]

Craps!

"Sorry. This has never happened to me before."

"It's okay, just take a deep breath and role again. Eighteen and up's all you need."

"It's only a D20! Your level's too high."

"Cheeky bugger! I'm only thirty-eight. Just role."

"Well, it's your armour class then..."



*Galdaia Thundershield sighs and unequips her armour*



"Better? Just don't role a one like last time."



*Uthred the Destroyer stares*



"Umm... ..."

"Well, at least you finished your quest."

 

[Cathbad]

The Brawl Bowl


“When Barth smashed the left guard, that was legal?”

“Correct, Susan.”

“But Kaya cutting the elf’s throat was a penalty?”

Steve sighed. “It’s the difference between being on Offense or Defense.”

“The score says eighteen to eleven; but all anyone’s done is hike the ball, which leads to a brawl, which ends when the player with the ball is on the ground?”

“That isn’t the score.”

“No?”

“It’s how many players each side has left.”

 

[Luiglin]

The grand idiotic old game

The ball rolled to the lip of the bunker, teetered dramatically and dropped into the sand below.

The Dark Lord, sporting bright chequered plus fours and horribly clashing jumper, stared disconsolately down the fairway.

"Remind me how hitting a little white ball for miles and then walking after the damn thing is meant to ease stress?"

The Minion's hand twitched out a reply.

"After nearly eighteen hellholes you only now tell me about the 19th!"

 

[Jason McGraw]

Play with the Bones
For two weeks, Scott lived with a clan of giants. A child-giant liked him so he was spared. As a living doll, the two would play together. Scott could tolerate it, he thought, while he looked for a path of escape. That is, until the day the child wanted to play with the bones - ribs, femurs, skulls. It was too much. Scott could not bring himself to touch the bones of his former caravan members.

 

[Calliopenjo]

Dragonball. Strike—Oops

I talked someone into playing a game with me. I laughed with pleasure at the thought.

I got on my dragon, he on his, and we went up to the sky. I hit a ball with my racket towards him and he hit back. It went like that for most of the morning until his dragon had to let go of some fire. The ball made it midway before it turned to ashes.

 

[Ashleyne]

I'm a Stalker

If people knew, they'd think I'm creepy.

I spy on people who are at rock bottom. My latest project is a man who's lost his wife, kids and home.

I see versions of the future and I know just the ticket. A lottery one.

I put tomorrow's winning ticket in his begging tin. "Good luck", I say.

He grunts, "Thanks", sounding more polite than thankful. I can't wait to see his face when he realises.

 

[Walled Cities]

Dungeon Crawler

The boy came from the forest, father's sword in baldric, panoply of mother's pots.

Bereaved by reality. Deracinated love.

Will you live in a fantasy world, or be a fantasy who never lived?

The entrance of a cave. Crucible of freedom. Above, a proverb carved in runes, epitaph of fool or wise man:

Outside, the forces of this world determine our lives, but this, this is wild country.

Free yourself. Dungeon Crawler. Come in.

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

Whom Gods Destroy

Game pieces covered the board. One was a mighty tower. The elder of the two players pointed at it. It crumbled to dust.

"Cleverly done, Father," the younger said. With the wave of his hand a piece in the form of a city appeared.

The elder breathed upon it. It evaporated into clouds.

The younger sighed. The board melted at his touch. "You win again. Another game?"

"Yes," the elder said. "With people this time."

 

[Shyrka]

The Divine Game

Darrin clutched the orb closer to his chest, fingers sticky with blood.

Still bleeding. If only Marta was here.

Marta. Her warmth, her breath. Gone now. All of them.

The dolmen rose from the clearing’s heart. The God’s Gate. The ancestors were right.

They came from the trees, surging, hooting. Desperate, he hurled the orb. Watching, wide-eyed, he hardly felt the arrows.

It sailed true.

As darkness claimed him, a voice boomed.

"ONE NIL."

 

[Joshua Jones]

Of Fun and Dwarves.
A pretty elf sat at the table. “Hi, I’m Enwen” she said warmly.
The dwarf snorted and glared. “Rigel”
“Ok, then…” she said. “Tell me about yourself.”
“Nutin to tell” he replied grumpily.
“Ok… do you have any hobbies?”
“Splittin’ skulls.”
“Oh…I see…”
“Time!” the moderator called. Enwen fled and was replaced with a dwarvish woman.
“Hi, I’m Arthira. What do you like to do?”
He laughed vigorously. “Scare speed dating elves!”

 

[Andrew Lambert]

Monopolising.

Into drive, accelerating my space speeder and banking hard right.
I see Damo stopped by the police, ‘That’s jail, buddy!’
Flying now, straight through the jeweled asteroid belt and perilously close to the LP space station.
Do I take a chance? Of course.
I may fare better avoiding that posh blue planet, and it’s hoard of hotels.
Another sharp right, taking severe g-force, and downloading my two hundred Grobas, as I pass GO!

 

[Dave Barsby]

Sheathing The Sword

​

“Greetings, Krastor The Destroyer.”

“Greetings, Timothy Bloodrage.”

“So what you been up to?”

“Whittling.”

“Whittling?”

“Whittling.”

“What’s whittling?”

“It’s a hobby. You?”

“Thought I’d learn to play the harp.”

“Harp? Isn’t that a bit girly for a barbarian?”

“So’s whittling. Probably. Whatever it is. Another flagon of mead?”

“May as well. Now we’ve killed all the ogres, dwarves, orcs, elves, mages, dragons... What’s left to do but drink? Gods, life is so boring now!”

 

[Mr Orange]

The Unfortunate Destruction of the Realm of Flemëros.


ф

Clouds swirl about Mount Eragor.

"Is he here, Ultherůk?"

"Who?"

"You know who. The Idiot God of Terraquakes."

"Oh. No, he's swimming in the Oracle Pool."

"Good. Cards?"

ф

"Hmmm… Agricultural Advancement."

"Plague on the Realm."

"Oooh, nice. Miracle Card, cure all. And-"

"Hiiiiiiii guuuuyyyys! Watcha doin'?"

"Hello Thandim, how ar-"

“Can I plaayyyy?"

"Umm, I guess so. Just don't do anything stupid. Beroki, your turn."

"I'll double up with another Miracle Card and-"

"SNAP!"

ф

 

[mosaix]

What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

My Dearest Son,

The time is fast approaching when I must sort my affairs.

One consequence of my hobby of collecting unusual jewellery is that you haven't seen as much of me as you would have wished. To make amends I've enclosed a precious piece from my collection. One that I know you have long coveted.

I hope this ring brings you much pleasure, Gollum.

Your loving mother.
P.S. Please don't lose it!

 

[Stable]

It Was Thiiiiiiiiis Big!

The bait hit the river hard with an unhappy moo.

My client – a corrupt Beijing official – was trying to impress his date with cynicism, calling me a fraud. I grinned as the float twitched.

The monster exploded upwards, drenching everything, cow dead between terrible jaws. Our huge hooks pierced its noble face. We had it. Steel cable screamed off the reel.

I handed the winch controls to the shaking client.

Dragon fishing is the best.

 

[johnnyjet]

The World is a Cheap Video Game with Clunky Graphics

I was going to be late for work due to road construction. As I sat in unmoving traffic, my mind began to wander. Around me, everything transformed into cubic caricatures.

Someone called to me, "Mario!"

"Yeah?"

"Let's race to work."

We were off, leaping between boxy cars, spanning chasms, dodging unexpected missiles.

I arrived first. I raced to my desk and plopped into my chair. The world reverted to smooth edges.

I needed coffee.