June 2017 75-word Writing Challenge -- VICTORY TO MOSAIX!

[holland]

No, the Universal Translator Device Doesn’t Exist in the Far Future, Shut Up!

Desŧepickéstiġozďravkočōlic, the only galactic interpreter who speaks the primary languages of all fifty planets that participated in the Seventh Milkomeda War, is waiting in his booth for the testimony of the surprise protected witness before the Galactic Tribunal for War Crimes.

Finally, a blurry figure appears on the screen and says only one word, the only word with a meaning in all fifty languages, and a different meaning in each of them:

“Kaätz.”

 

[Tywin]

The Mutiny of the 761st Interplanetary Marine Regiment: “The Bloody Belt Bandits”

“And now, Governor, I have something to show you,” the colonel smirked. “Sergeant, the detonator, please.”

“Detonator, sir?”

“The detonator. I need it now.”

“It’s back on Ceres.”

“Ceres? We need it now!”

“It was due maintenance, sir.”

“Maintenance? We’ve prepped this mission for a year.”

“Sir, you issued a policy letter against skipping scheduled maintenance.”

“Is there a problem?” asked the governor.

“No, Governor, we just came to offer our continued thanks and friendship…”

 

[LittleStar]

Last First Date

Cat just kissed me, then lay back, watching the stars.

My hands shook; my heart in my throat. Finally a girl I really could spend the rest of my life with.

"Uhh... Tessa?" She sat up.

I saw too. A thousand stars waltzed, fireflies in the breeze. They rained down, cracking the atmosphere.

My hands stil trembled; I swallowed past my heart. Cat linked our fingers, squeezing tight as explosions turned night to day.

 

[Cat's Cradle]

AHEM

Chim marked his territory by flinging around his… ahem.

MY bananas –
*fling*...

MY female (ripe Anzee) –
*fling*...

Thus he controlled chimpanzee society.
#

Then a rogue male appeared; Panz moved fast as Eagle – Chim’s flings never landed.

But food was power: he’d mark every banana within range.

Chim flung, then slipped on a banana peel; he tumbled onto Panz’s mounded... ahem.

Thus defiled, Chim’s rule ended.
#

Chim watches Anzee grooming Panz. Panz bristles: Flee! Forest kittens!

 

[johnnyjet]

Outward Bound

Our journey of discovery began with celebration. Now, our engines dead, we were on an endless journey beyond our solar system. We would survive as long as supplies lasted.

When all hope seemed lost, we found a viable, life-supporting planet.

Amazingly, we landed safely.

The world was full of poisons and carnivores.

What else could go wrong?

There was a knock on our outer hatch.

 

[chrispenycate]

Damoclacy before bleakfast

Catastrophe emerges. Soundless paw
Pads down the avenue of good intention.
Parliament hanged? Perchance would be more sure
Involving Doctor Guillotine's invention.
Nothing can go wrong - deepset logic flaw
For naught's continued as predicted
And, demonstrating Murphy's law
Leaves politicians near indicted,
Organisation sapped by Chaos' spore.

Zebedeetown delivers her new allies in the war
As calendar inexorably nears Brexit.
Ulstermen, no more enthusiastic than before
"It weren't broke, why'd ye fecking fexxit?"
​

 

[Cory Swanson]

Murphy Slaw

1/2 cup mayonnaise

1/2 tbsp lemon juice

1 tbsp vinegar

3 whole Murphys shredded

Dash of salt

Whisk mayonnaise, lemon juice, vinegar, and salt until smooth.

Pick three medium sized Murphys from your hydro-garden. Remember, Murphys are ornery, so wear your gloves and eye protection. Shred them alive for best taste. Should a Murphy bite back, don't panic. Pull the red cord. Your escape pod will arrive on Earth within four months.

 

[Old_Man_Steve2016]

My Pet Dragon, Leader of Albana City
​

"The city leader position is open again," said Chuck.
"What happened now?" asked Fin-2 as they adjusted their nanowire hair.
"Assassinated again."
"Nobody will wanna run."
"I know, right?" Chuck looked down at the ballot. "I'm writing in Inglacious."
"But, he's your mom's dragon. Eh, he'll never win. I'll do it too." They mailed their ballots and left town.

Three months later, they returned and heard the chants of "All hail Inglacious, Dragon Leader!"

 

[Hugh]

Supper​

This ageing process is an ever-increasing series of humiliations. Just when I’ve adjusted to one bizarre circumstance, something worse comes along. How am I supposed to remember those stupid passwords, or where I’ve left my teeth?

At the same time, strangely, the older I get, the more the immensity of time and space beckons like a ringing bell, moving me to tears with its beauty.

More mundanely, what’s my cat making me for supper?

 

[Teresa Edgerton]

Usually Invisible

Sly Duke Orson awaits, smug. His will be the first face his Queen sees after tasting the sweet, deep purple, enchanted wine.

Ariana takes her first sip; a quiver of delight passes over her. A deeper drink, she trembles with pleasure.

Orson smirks, pleased with his success.

He doesn’t know . . . yet . . . that her passionate glance is for the handsome young servant seen just over his shoulder, bringing in the next dish for the banquet.

 

[Heijan Xavier]

Eve of Destruction

Mother.

Eve.

Abel is dead. Kain murdered him.

I’m sorry.

It’s your fault mother! Reveal yourself. Then they’ll fear sin.

I must stay hidden, or there would be no free will of conscience.

Fine...

Aha! Let’s rewrite the narrative and say you’re a man. That would keep the men in line!

It’s your book Eve, but please think this through.

What’s the problem? We’ll be using fear to control men. What could possibly go wrong?

 

[HazelRah]

Eventually, Everything Grows Thorns


For seven years we came to this tree. It grew, twisting around our etchings, entwined with our love.

I wanted to show her the skies, travel the worlds with her. But she loved that damn tree so much, I never asked.

On our anniversary, a storm hit and a schism ran through our names. Our tree died.

She told me I had waited too long to ask.

So she left to travel the skies alone.

 

[Parson]

Found Guilty in 2250​

When Rev. Martin started preaching he knew that personal responsibility was anathema. After 300 years of watching vids in which “regular” people were never to blame for their failures; everyone “knew” that when bad things happened to them it was Murphy’s fault.


When Martin was inspired to preach personal responsibility, he was soon arrested, tried, convicted of Heresy, and sentenced to death.


Martin’s last words: “I AM A CHRISTIAN! I DO NOT BELIEVE IN MURPHY!”

 

[Phyrebrat]

Murphy Always Wins

Chad gawped at the impassable plug hole of the Ionian wormhole.
Third time lucky? Or trouble comes in threes?
Test pilots weren’t cheap - the Alliance were playing fast and loose here.
‘Shoulda admitted psych just declared you OCD.’
If he told himself it wouldn’t work, the ‘rule’ was it’d go well.

So: You’ll crash just like the other two…

###

Through! Towering pillars of dust and nebulae glittered like jewels.

‘Bogey: 339, mark 12.’

Oh sh—

 

[Piper]

THE VOYAGE


“Come on.” He urged “We’re at the wrong place, we need to get to the other side.”

She stood rooted in place staring at the behemoth.

“There’s no tubular transport in this reality.” Frustration crept into his voice.

“Is it safe?” she whispered.

“Oh my yes! Did all the research myself. It’s their safest, indestructible.” He beamed.

With a slight shrug, she followed him over the gangway, under the colorful banner ‘Welcome aboard the Titanic’.

 

[Starbeast]

Larry, from Room 13
​

"...........I......live. The deal with that vampire....money, for immortality. He kept his word. I'm strong, my senses are heightened. I can tell it's daylight outside. I'll exit this coffin, tonight. I won't be subordinate anymore. I can accumulate centuries of wealth, and, obtain a multitude of brides....wait. Something's burning? The coffin, it's smoking. (gasp) I'm being cremated! NNAAAAAAAAGH!!!"

"Poor, Larry. He was penniless."

"You're kind, and a thoughtful Landlady, Mrs. Danvers."

 

[Perpetual Man]

When Everything that Can Go Wrong, Turns Out Okay

“Uh, Cap, the autopilot switch just snapped!”

“Don’t panic Lieutenant, manual landing isn’t too hard.”

“The joystick wires tore loose during dry run.”

“We can always reprogram the computer…”

“You know that virus yesterday?”

“Oh for $#!+$ sake!”

“Sir, profanity on the bridge is cause for suspension.”

“I’ve never had such a crappy Thursday.”

“It’s Friday sir.”

“Sod it! Crash into Mars! Get it over with.”

“Weapons misfire! Descent slowing.

“Umm, we’ve landed.”

 

[mosaix]

If Something Can Go Wrong...

“...and for the kidnapping of John Moore and the harvesting of his organs I sentence you to life imprisonment.”

***

“...a drone will drop the device into the prison yard. Activate it and you're out of here. Where to? Timeline?” A shrug. “Who knows? We don't even know who you'll be.”

***

The bed's comfortable, the room bright and warm.

“Not too bad. Could be worse...”

Above the bed hangs a medical chart labelled 'John Moore'.

 

[Moonbat]

One True Mistake.​

Let there be light.
What’s all that darkness?
Let the light chase away the darkness.
Chase it faster.
Not that fast.
Better, but now it’s too hot.
Must find a way for it to cool down.
Organised energy loss, perfect.
That’s pretty, they explode too, brilliant!
What is that?
Life!
Kill it.
What do mean multiplied?
Kill it, with rocks.
Well kill it again.
Burn it.
Drown it.
Kill itself.
Again.
Again.
Again.​

 

[ratsy]

Every. Single. Time

Fire burned as they ran into the ship.

“Close the hatch!” Francis yelled.

“Starting engines,” Jeb said, flipping switches.

Invading ships fired lasers all around them.

“We have to leave!”

Their ship lifted, and fell back to the ground.

“What’s the matter?” Francis asked.

Jeb looked at the fuel gauge. “We’re empty, sir.”

Outside, the singularity fuel station sign loomed over them.

Francis shrugged. “You know I have points with the other guys.”