Britain's Got Authors

[Phyrebrat]

I had an awful thought today that I wanted to chew on here and see what people think.

We live in a society now where the education generation are taught that so long as they make effort, they can be anything they want. Of course, the reality is they've grown up finding it's not true, and are somewhat disenfranchised, spoilt and lost. Talent shows like BGT and the Simon Cowell one (I avoid those shows like rabies) have given young people this platform to humiliate themselves in deluded self-belief whilst the nation whoops, jeers, cheers and salivates.

However, the talent show model, the reality show model, is like kiddie crack, and there are plenty of adults who watch this kind of garbage - I admit to being a fan of the Real Housewives of America franchises, and Celebrity Big Brother.

In the light of the boom in SP and aspiring writers, how long is it before the media produce a search-for-a-star-author show?

And more importantly, would you go on it? How would you pitch yourself to a panel of judges? Would doing so make you less authentic, lack integrity as a writer?

Because, if I'm being honest - and notwithstanding my indefensible double-standards - I can imagine myself trying that route!

Oh, the shame!

What about other writers?

 

[HareBrain]

I'd ghostwrite for someone young and pretty who'd overcome horrible tragedy.

 

[Phyrebrat]

I'd ghostwrite for someone young and pretty who'd overcome horrible tragedy.

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have 2017's winner!

But, you're banned, HB. You're already a highly successful household name*.

pH
*unless you want to ghostwrite for me; I'm young and pretty in the right light, and I overcame childhood trama when Louise Fouracre stole my story in primary school: The Unhappy Traffic Light.

 

[Cli-Fi]

I had an awful thought today that I wanted to chew on here and see what people think.

We live in a society now where the education generation are taught that so long as they make effort, they can be anything they want. Of course, the reality is they've grown up finding it's not true, and are somewhat disenfranchised, spoilt and lost. Talent shows like BGT and the Simon Cowell one (I avoid those shows like rabies) have given young people this platform to humiliate themselves in deluded self-belief whilst the nation whoops, jeers, cheers and salivates.

However, the talent show model, the reality show model, is like kiddie crack, and there are plenty of adults who watch this kind of garbage - I admit to being a fan of the Real Housewives of America franchises, and Celebrity Big Brother.

In the light of the boom in SP and aspiring writers, how long is it before the media produce a search-for-a-star-author show?

And more importantly, would you go on it? How would you pitch yourself to a panel of judges? Would doing so make you less authentic, lack integrity as a writer?

Because, if I'm being honest - and notwithstanding my indefensible double-standards - I can imagine myself trying that route!

Oh, the shame!

What about other writers?

What a good topic, Unfortunately I really don't think this is workable. The reason those reality shows are so popular is because they are big and flashy, not to mention cheap to make. I'm not so sure how to make writing big and flashy. It's a very personal thing for most people, and then you have the weird introverts who don't want to share any of the work they ever put to paper.

Perhaps, if possible. It could work like a shark tank deal. if certain agents/famous authors like your work then you could get a book deal, tv and movie deal plus royalties, but even then. What would be the challenges? How could the audience know the rest of the book is good if they only read a snippet of it. I would assume that snippet would be the best part of the book too. They could read a really good snippet of their work and the rest could be crap. Or do you want to watch a bunch of authors and lit agents sitting in a room for three hours reading books??? I get reality TV shows can be boring and cheesy, but this would just be boring lolz.

But then again: Candy Crush and Shazam Get TV Treatment – JohnJFalco.com

 

[Toby Frost]

I think we're part of the way there already. For a while, I've suspected that there is one story that newspapers really want to tell about writing: a new, young author gets a gigantic amount of money for a first novel. The author is always photogenic, and usually what the film critics call a Manic Pixie Dreamgirl, together with irritating quirky lifestyle.

However, I don't think an authorial talent contest would really work, because each entry would take too long to read (even an excerpt) and there wouldn't be many shiny things to look at on the screen. Once you've seen one author reciting their novel on a burning unicycle, you've seen them all. Sort of.

Of course, if you believe in yourself, and you keep hold of the magic feather, you can do anything.

 

[Cli-Fi]

Once you've seen one author reciting their novel on a burning unicycle, you've seen them all. Sort of.

I keep being surprised by the stuff I see on America's Got Talent, but no one has entered in their novel for consideration. That would be original!

 

[Toby Frost]

I'm pretty sure someone tried it on Dragons' Den. It didn't go down well.

 

[Cli-Fi]

I'm pretty sure someone tried it on Dragons' Den. It didn't go down well.

Yeah plus you gotta give 10% or whatever to those guys on top of lit agent fees and advertising???? It's a bad business model for an investor.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

I's just talk them into submission. That usually works for me

 

[Phyrebrat]

I wasn't expecting it to follow the Simon Cowell format, but more like Dragon's Den. I think the judges would have to be pre-read te first chapter or something. Just like a query and proposal, perhaps? If they don't like you, they chuck a Strunk at you and say 'gerrout!'

pH

 

[The Judge]

I'm young and pretty in the right light

Me, too! Unfortunately, the right light in my case would be pitch darkness. So I'm going to insist on delivering my spiel behind a curtain on which is pasted a photo of Scarlett Johansson cuddling several kittens, and possibly a puppy or two and a lamb, in case there are any felinophobes out there.

 

[Vaz]

I'd write for world peace.

My Author talents are: looking brooding and being able to write through the night without caffeine.

 

[SilentRoamer]

...and then you have the weird introverts who don't want to share any of the work they ever put to paper.

Oi!

I resent being called that! Just because I don't let people read my work does not mean I am an introvert! Weird is a fairly accurate adjective and one I can live with, but introvert! How very dare you!

 

[Lumens]

Aren't the monthly challenges here a little bit like a talent show?

I mean, it's all quite harmless and far from as self important as those shows, but there is voting, and a winner, involved.

 

[The Big Peat]

Next time we meet, I'm literally going to look at you like you just peed on my shoe just for suggesting this.

 

[tinkerdan]

Since getting exposure is the name of the game this would have a lot of promise.

I think we could give it a spin that would offer a great reward and possibly some entertainment.

Each 'new' author would be allowed to portray their debut novel or story as a radio play or play; pieced out of a section while vying for a contract with some movie producers to do the whole thing.

And the name of the show::

Write the First Time.

 

[Dave]

I think they would need to have already written a novel before the show begins. Otherwise, I can't see that watching a author at work would make for riveting TV. So, the format would need to be more like The Apprentice, where some belligerent crazy person, with groping hands and dyed hair, makes teams made from 16 new authors sit various different tasks, and eliminates one person every week. The tasks could be a grammar and spelling B, speaking at a literary festival, holding a book signing, adapting it for radio with a hammer and nails... The winner has their novel published, while the losers face a life of appearances on other reality TV shows.

 

[Lumens]

Next time we meet, I'm literally going to look at you like you just peed on my shoe just for suggesting this.

I have to meet you now, just to see what that expression looks like!

 

[Stephen Palmer]

The show could be called, Who Wants To Be A Media Whore?

 

[Cli-Fi]

The show could be called, Who Wants To Be A Media Whore?

That's already every cable news channel