Reading the four passages, I do actually think that the SF ones do sound a bit less sophisticated than the "normal" versions. However, I think this is because of the generic nature of the SF additions: "person" has been changed to "android", a minor character is depicted as a four-armed alien for the sake of it, etc. The events in it are clearly real-world events with a gloss. The gloss feels like a lot of non-SF readers' idea of SF: a sort of 1950s Buck Rogers world where anything goes. So in that way, the SF passages do feel "sillier".
Also, in an SF novel, I would expect the things that matter to have a particularly SF aspect (and often great general significance) to them, whether it's a serious consideration of the meaning of consciousness in a robot or just blasting some aliens with laser guns. In the "normal" scenes, there's more of a feeling that the (galactically, pretty minor) events depicted could form a pivotal moment in the story, especially in a more "literary" work, where almost any event could trigger the character into having a vital epiphany.