First-person present v third-person past, examples

It does feel weird at first. But I became used to it sooner than I thought I would, and now it doesn't matter at all.

However, we all have our own tastes. Maybe some people never could get past the stage where it feels strange. I'm just glad that I stuck with it long enough for me to get past that stage, because otherwise I would have missed reading some books that I really enjoyed.

And I do think some of those books were actually better for being written in first person present tense. If a writer chooses it because their instincts tell them it's the right way to go for that particular book, I think it's usually the right choice. If they are trying to be trendy or trying to be too artistic then the results can be . . . mixed.
 
Yeah, I'm a fan of present tense. When done well and in the right book (massive qualifiers), I think it provides a sense of immediacy and character immersion, keeps the narrative snappy and dissuades from long, meandering descriptions that can sometimes tempt you when you're writing in past. It reads fast and pretty smoothly once you get used to it (there is definitely an adjustment when you first pick it up, especially if you're used to reading 3rd past).

I also don't think it's necessarily just a quirk of young adult novels either, though it probably does appear there most frequently. Cloudstreet, by Tim Winton, uses 3rd person present a lot of the time, and it actually works surprisingly well. So does Cloud Atlas, by David Mitchell, and one of my favourite books, the Poisonwood Bible, dips in and out of present tense a fair bit. And for added literary hoo-ha, Soul Mountain by Gao Xingjian, the Nobel prize winner, uses all three of first, second and third person present, often more or less at the same time, hahaha (great book, by the way).

Of course, then there's 50 Shades of Grey, but what can you do? :p

As a writer, I sometimes find that when I'm stuck on a scene or particularly unmotivated, writing in first present helps me to overcome hurdles, and then I change the tense as needed. And to this day, the only story I've written in entirety from beginning to end without huge chunks of it needing to be re-worked is in first present. So there's something to be said for it, to be sure.

As for your excerpts, I definitely preferred the first, because the narrator has a quirky voice and it's great to get right up close inside his head and in the moment like that. But I'm sure you could make it work either way :)
 
But it doesn't feel like "Storytelling". I do write some in present tense, and there, I'm ok with it. I guess when I read, I'm expecting to be told a story, rather than "watch" events unfold.

*shrugs*
 
The 1st one feels closer to the character, almost intimate. The second has a bit mote distance, a wider view. So I guess it comes down to which perspective works best for your story and style. Seems to me a character would need a particularly compelling voice to withstand the closeness of 1st person present, especially over a whole novel.

It would be interesting to see if there really is a generational shift going on with kids growing up reading present tense in YA. Not sure I could deal with both that AND the habit of raising the pitch of the voice at the end of a statement.
 
I heard someone at some point say that publishers won't touch first-present. (Aside from YA) Is there any truth to that?
 
First Present Tense is so easy that it's hard::
Cory Swanson said:
I heard someone at some point say that publishers won't touch first-present. (Aside from YA) Is there any truth to that?
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::By that, I mean that for a new author it is an easy way to feel close to the character; however it is hard to get it right and make it work, so I think that such a sweeping statement as they won't touch it is wrong in the sense that they would read it if it was done well. It takes time to get it right.

I'm not sure about other peoples tastes other than to say when first-present-tense is done well many people don't realize they just finished reading a First-Present-Tense novel.
 
Montero said:
So are any of the Firestealers books published? Went looking but couldn't find anything.
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Sorry for the wasted effort, Montero. The series title wasn't used (rightly or wrongly) in the listings for The Goddess Project. That'll be addressed when the second one comes out this August.

(And thanks, you two!)

As for this first-v-third question, thanks everyone for your feedback. I've decided to keep it as first for now, as it just feels more right to me, even if it would alienate some potential readers. At least I now know the third-person conversion works OK, and I might well go for it if, say, an agent or publisher thought it would work better.
 
I know you've just said you made your mind up, but I'd vote for the first version as well. Much more immediate and tense. The trouble I guess it brings is you are stuck with one character all the way through and can't flip POV, but if that's how you planned on writing it then that's fine.
 
I just finished Artemis by Andy Weir, which is 1st person past (I think - definitely 1st) and admittedly I listened to it on Audible so the excellent narration helped, but I felt it really helped me connect with the MC, even though I have very little in common with her. I think it brings a conversational tone to things, like the MC is telling you their story, rather than a more detached even close 3rd style. It allows the MC to share stuff with you as a reader that maybe wouldn't work in 3rd. I think Ben Aaronovitch nails it in Rivers of London - for me he manages a feel that you are sinking a pint in a London boozer and your mate PC Peter Grant is waxing lyrical about his weird day. The disadvantage is that as a reader, you have a very high degree of certainty that whatever danger the narrator faces, they are going to survive, otherwise how are they narrating. I guess that's potentially where 1st present comes in, or a more ballsy flip of POV character part way through when you kill the narrator, but that's risky.
 
I've been tinkering with a new short story that hasn't been clicking for me for a while. I've just gone back and re-written the first page in 1st person and I like it better already :)
 
For me, the main difference in feel between the two versions I posted is exemplified by the sentence "Here we go". In the first-person version it's in the narrative, in the second it's direct thought. Why should that matter? I'm not sure, but maybe it's the narrative voice, rather than dialogue (which direct thought is, effectively) that drives immediacy.

Having said that, "Here we go" could only be in first-present, not first-past.
 
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