How to write a good chase scene?

[Penny]

hey all,
I'm writing a scene with my character free running, through my sci fi city and I am starting to feel like I am just jamming a consecutive series of events down my readers throat that might be hard to follow.
I go from one segment to another to another to another and link them with a brief description of running, jumping ect.
I am thinking it is technically like a chase scene so I was wondering if anyone has any tips and ideas for structuring a good chase scene, how to break up the action into manageable chunks, that kind of thing without slowing down the perceived action.

I can post some small chunks of it if needed, not sure on rules for that kind of thing here though.


I've been reading some Mathew Reilly books to get an idea of chases because a friend suggested it, I don't like his enclosed arena style of writing but his action and chase scenes seem to read well for me. not sure if there are better examples.

 

[J Riff]

Not yet, you need 30 posts to post excerpts.
Chase scene... hmm, looking over shoulder. Stuff moving in the shadows... .was that it? / She'd better keep moving...
Describing action is not always easy, no particular advice, just do it. )

 

[Penny]

mmm, my main problem is my character is racing against the clock rather than necessarily running from someone so its like a desperate transit scene, chasing the clock so to speak. she is kinda pakouring/freerunning so I need to show that she can do this, that she is driven and fit, show a little of the city and get where she needs going.
Some of the stuff I have read says. use less description but i feel if i use too little then... I lose that freerunning element and you don't get as good an idea how mazelike and chaotic the city is structured

 

[Brian G Turner]

I'm writing a scene with my character free running, through my sci fi city and I am starting to feel like I am just jamming a consecutive series of events down my readers throat that might be hard to follow.
I go from one segment to another to another to another and link them with a brief description of running, jumping ect.

I suspect you're missing the character experience - in a novel, an action sequence isn't simply a series of external events happening to a character, but the internal reaction to it and usually in reference to a longer emotional development arc.

So if a character is running against the clock, we would likely need to feel some sense of their desperation and the physical effects of them pushing hard on their bodies, plus an underlining of the stakes and the consequences of failure.

If of help, Wonderbook by Jeff Vandermeer covers most of the bases of this, along with all of the other technicalities of writing that writers needs to know. Save the Cat goes even deeper into character emotional development arcs.

 

[HareBrain]

Some of the stuff I have read says. use less description but i feel if i use too little then... I lose that freerunning element and you don't get as good an idea how mazelike and chaotic the city is structured

Following on from Brian's post, describe what she notices in that situation. She's going to have a vague awareness of the whole setting, so keep that brief, but she's going to be strongly focusing on details that her life depends on -- the exact distance to the next building, whether that plank is likely to tip, etc. What's important to her at that moment will be important to the reader and will carry them along. What isn't, likely won't.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

Exposition breaks up lists of action too

 

[Toby Frost]

To be honest, if they’re in control of how fast they are going – ie running or driving a car as fast as possible – I’d have thought that there wasn’t much opportunity to think about much other than the immediate dodging of obstacles (perhaps a couple of momentary thoughts about what’s at stake, but not much). The kind of desperation that comes from fretting about the situation requires a lack of ability to go any faster (being stuck on a bus, say), which gives you the opportunity to worry. The car-versus-train scene in The French Connection springs to mind, where the hero is trying to outpace a train and causes chaos on the road in the process. If you’re writing about someone running, then you could introduce the weariness and physical pain they’re feeling, too. The novel Marathon Man had a chase scene involving runners, which I remember being quite good.

 

[goldhawk]

A good chase scene is like a game of poker. If the runner is faster than the chaser, the runner simply runs away. If the runner is slower than the chaser, then the chaser will catch them. The runner has to be a little bit slower than the chaser. That means the runner has to outfox the chaser. I mean outfox literally. Fox chases were popular with nobility because the fox tries to trick the chasers into losing the trail. A good chase scene is as much a mental game as it is physical.

 

[Paul Meccano]

One way to do it, by no means the only way, and I'm bound to receive a telling off by someone but I couldn't help but post...Is this:

Put yourself in the chase and write under pressure ( set a clock to complete the first draft, if it fails try again). Its keeps the word count down whilst keeping the action up. Character feedback should be kept to a minimal also, mostly because if you're running full pelt with unexpected events happening all around it's unlikely you're going to be thinking as you normally would with reactions to the unfolding more instinctual (especially if military trained).

essentially try to plan the A and the B of the scenario but let the chase dictate how you go from A to B. see what just crops up in your mind.

example:
He rounded the corner, brighter, still wet, the floor better drained but slippery. The clocked ticked in his mind as his lungs strained, breath heavy, mind on goal. A looming gate blocking the way. No return I can't go back. damn it. He started to scale; feet in gaps, fingers stabbing, gripping at the facia, hopes to keep pace. Water slapped his dampened clothes, leaking from roofs cascading down as he fell from the climb, catching trouser and leg heaping on the floor. Up and off, he could hear the transport, see the lights, It was the main drag again. Another breath a re-set of mind, the clock ticked. Which way, which way? He craned his neck to see the open sky the clamour of buildings lazy and sprawling, bundled and limp, draped over the city like a...

Ive written that in 2 minuets ( unchecked grammar and spelling, so back off some of you) and its not great but it does keep pace. for me I find a chase scene (rushing scene) a difficult place to add too much emotion or detail on surroundings. bits n pieces. But thats just me. And I'm only so good off o the cusp.

 

[tinkerdan]

It's all about pacing and balance. You can use some exposition to help; however you need to keep in mind the pace you are trying to build into the scene, because if you are at a place where you need immediate action--it could be jarring to wander too far into exposition.

There are a lot of books that could be helpful here. These days I often find that it seems like the main character is in these situations 90 percent of the novel and there is no rest. Some of those leave me breathless.

I think when doing these scenes you need to look forward to where and how the chase ends and then try to balance just how reasonable it might be for it to last-one page--three pages--or nine pages. Or as in some cases--seemingly the entire story.

 

[The Bluestocking]

Read the CASSIE PALMER series by Karen Chance. Karen is the master of high-octane chase scenes and her books should give you an idea of what a really effective chase scene is like. Seriously.

 

[janeoreilly]

So it's free running, she's not actually being chased? I would consider what the character is running for - why they are doing it - because that will affect the thought patterns of the character - and also where you are in terms of your story structure. There needs to be a point to it (as there is with a chase - that's what creates the sense of pacing and urgency - the scene question it creates of will they/won't they get away. You've said she is chasing the clock, but why? What's the motivation?) You can then look at things like sentence structure and internal dialogue and throwing roadblocks in the way to make reaching the goal more difficult for the character.

 

[sknox]

She's racing the clock, but nobody can run at full sprint for an hour. You can have her stop now and again--to catch her breath, to get her bearings, to be stumped by an obstacle. At each break, there's an opportunity to bring us in close, feel what she's feeling, see her sweat. Remind the reader of the stakes, of the ways in which this could all go wrong.

In early drafts I often pay more attention to the setting, especially if it's an action scene. I'm still working out the logistics, describing the setting, moving characters around. And it always feels empty, wooden. Then I'll come back and pay attention to the characters, now that I know where they are and what they do--who lives, who dies, who gets hurt, who is brilliant. And there's room for another pass, too. That's where I look at sentence structure, working in dialog (internal or external), and in general getting the words to move at the same pace as the scene. I'll also look for places for symbolism or theme, callbacks or foreshadowing.

You could also consider whether you need to do all the things you mention with a single scene. Perhaps we learn about her physical fitness before this. Or we are introduced to the city before or after. What happens if she doesn't beat the clock? Is this life and death?

 

[Penny]

Thanks for the advice peeps, I have re-written the scene a couple of times so far. It seems easier now that I have broken down the original scene by location, using that i wrote each section with a brief segment where she sees the location ahead or plans her path in her mind instead of just immediately throwing each location and event at the reader.
It seems to have slowed the action enough and give a better mental picture of what I was after, and I think better emulates the thought processes we have while we are searching for the next handhold while climbing something, at least thats how I was picturing the way she plans as she runs.

I am working on adding a breather scene where she has to wait for the path to clear which gives her time to worry and consider the time and her goal, which should help as a midpoint focus to remind the reader why we are running and let them stop if they need to.

@Paul Meccano
Not sure about putting a time constraint on yourself helping write action scenes, when I am writing I am going about the same speed i think of things so, if I don't have the time to think through what is happening in my head then I probably am not going to write something particularly coherent. Still I may try this at some point to challenge myself anyway.

@tinkerdan
Yeah I had the whole thinking getting in the way of the action thing on version 1, it was creeping in again on the current version but I shifted it to the very start of the scene so its not in the way now. Thankfully the scene is sitting under around 1400 words, trying to bring it under 900 if i can. There is no way I could do the whole book that way, it would break my hands.

@janeoreilly
She is esentally running late for an appointment lol, her friend is trying to get her out of her depressed mood and has put her in a situation where she has to go free running or miss out on a job, her friend knows that the main character enjoys running, that it puts her in a good mood so she has essentially organised it to cheer her friend up.
The main character as a result is half annoyed half enjoying the whole experience but shes pretty desperate for work so she has her serious face on.

 

[J Riff]

Put obstacles there... a drunk grabbing at her, a truck that pulls out, an injured dog, a twisted ankle. )

 

[Juliana]

Put obstacles there... a drunk grabbing at her, a truck that pulls out, an injured dog, a twisted ankle. )

This sort of stuff also lets you slip in bits of dialogue that help to break things up a little. "Hey, watch it!"; "S***!" as she slips, etc......

EDITING to add: also, moments of quiet help it not be too continuous - stopping behind a dumpster to catch breath, stuck behind a crowd at the crosswalk, muttering "Come on, come on!"...

 

[monsterchic]

Popping in to agree with Juliana and J Riff. Whenever I'm doing a chase-y type scene, I break it up quite a bit with dialogue and inner thoughts.

 

[Steve Harrison]

I have a scene where a character is on the run from the cops through alleys and back yards in an area he doesn't know, so I juggled all the elements:

- His desperate immediate goal is to escape, so that was the element that linked everything (the glue, if you like)
- He doesn't know the area or where he is running to, so there is the possibility of danger or obstacle round every corner, over every wall
- The cops are gaining on him and some may even be ahead of him, so the fear and tension are always present
- He has to stop every now and again to get his breath, so this is a brief opportunity to reflect and plan what happens if he does escape
- His fears of being caught are not just for himself, but he has a bigger 'mission' he must complete or die in the attempt
- Which means any cop who confronts him is in mortal danger

It's a very big basket of material. The opportunities to switch back and forth, maintaining a very fast pace and covering an large amount of other issues and character development were terrific. My thoughts were that if I could make the reader feel like he or she was also out of breath after short, break-neck sequences within the chase, they would be happy to break off briefly with the character before he takes off again.

I was out of breath writing the scene

 

[Penny]

been trying to figure out how to describe the duct and vent covered top of roofs in the richest and shortest way possible for like an hour lol. my chase scene is taking way longer to write than it would physically take

yeah, pauses to spot the next thing to charge for are very important from what I've figured out so far. although it's less about the emotion and more about the task for my character.

my character tends to have singular focus when working on something immediate

 

[thaddeus6th]

Can't say objectively if it's good but there's a chase in Sir Edric's Kingdom. Two things I remember including to try and convey the action were the narrowing distance (both pursuer and quarry were on horseback), and when they charged, still on horseback, through a pub and one of them snatched a bottle of wine from a patron. High speed in a confined space seems to work well. Also, if it's prolonged, you may need to add them being sweaty/out of breath and so on. I suspect the key point is whether you're writing from the POV of the chaser, in which case the gap between the two needs to be mentioned (in/out of sight, are they followed by sight/smell/sound etc) or the quarry, which may have more blind panic as they can't see their hunter.