A Cunning Plan

[Shorewalker]

I am close to requiring some beta readers...my WiP is currently going through a rigorous 2nd draft + proof reading. The first five chapters are the ones that I've struggled with, so I'd like some different sets of eyes on them. This is a tome, a traditional fantasy epic coming in at over 200,000 words, so I'm not going to ask anybody to read it all (unless somebody loves the damned thing...in which case, have at it!). However, those first five chapters are crucial.

The problem is, I run my own business and work in excess of 60 hours per week. I find it tough enough to find the time to write, so I am unable to recipricate at this moment. However...

My wife is currently working through her SfEP qualifications. Way back in the day, she was the deputy editor on her college paper (Bryn Mawr, for those who are interested) and subsequently qualified as a lawyer, so her attention to detail is damned sharp. She's now looking for a self-employed vocation that will see her into retirement and proof reading/copy editing is something that she has a natural aptitude for.

The idea is an exchange...for anybody who wants to beta read my first five chapters, my wife will proof-read a piece of similar length (around 45,000 words, give or take) gratis.

Is this something that's acceptable and/or of interest?

 

[unbusy thing]

Hi, Shorewalker 200,000 words is a big book for a debut author. 45,000 words for the first 5 chapters is a lot. What happens in those chapters? Is it backstory or story? What would be lost by cutting them? There may be a more economical way of incorporating the info.

We tend to get attached to what we've written, and so used to it that we can't actually see its flaws. I for instance fell asleep listening to a piece I'm working on using the Natural Reader software this morning!! If even the author can't stay awake listening to it, that truly doesn't bode well.

Blackwing author Ed McDonald did a podcast over at The Bestseller Experiment Could you write a Bestseller? where he talked about his 165,000 word MS being edited to 108,000. Might be worth a listen?

Of course, it may be absolutely brilliant and not need a word changed - but the market seems to be moving towards novellas, or at least shorter novels, anyway. I've seen a fair few comments on Tor.com that readers are after a break from longer works. HTH, and best of luck.

 

[Shorewalker]

Thanks for the comments.

200,000 is conservative...it's probably closer to 220,000. However, it was running to around 270,000 and has been slashed.

The story actually starts after the story starts, if you know what I mean, and the backstory has been incorporated into the narrative using a number of devices. The first chapter doesn't so much have physical action as it has things of great importance happening. From chapter two, the action starts to unfold.

I've already debated the idea of splitting the book in two, but there is no way to bring any of the plot strands to a conclusion to provide a climax that is in any way satisfying.

As for the market, I agree. However, I'm going with 'stuff the market' and writing the story I have, which is many-layered and...I hope...enagaging and exciting enough to keep the readers attention.

 

[The Judge]

I was very interested in the pieces you put up in Critiques, and I'd be interested in reading more, though only a chapter or so at a time if they're averaging at the 9k per chapter mark. But as you'll undoubtedly remember I thought you needed to cut an enormous amount of unnecessary verbiage from your opening scene, and I rather suspect my advice is going to be much the same for what follows. If you're nonetheless happy to let me loose on the first chapter, PM me. No reciprocation needed, as I'm a former lawyer and therefore a champion nitpicker myself!

 

[zmunkz]

This is a tome, a traditional fantasy epic coming in at over 200,000 words

...

The problem is, I run my own business and work in excess of 60 hours per week.

Same problem on both counts. I say screw the market, write the story you want.

Unfortunately I don’t have the time to help here, but good luck!

 

[Shorewalker]

I was very interested in the pieces you put up in Critiques, and I'd be interested in reading more, though only a chapter or so at a time if they're averaging at the 9k per chapter mark. But as you'll undoubtedly remember I thought you needed to cut an enormous amount of unnecessary verbiage from your opening scene, and I rather suspect my advice is going to be much the same for what follows. If you're nonetheless happy to let me loose on the first chapter, PM me. No reciprocation needed, as I'm a former lawyer and therefore a champion nitpicker myself!

That is pretty damned decent of you...thanks a lot.

Yes, the verbiage is being slashed, but I'm sure there's still stuff that can go. However, the first chapter or so is now much leaner than it was and has a certain pace.

I'm currently working on these opening chapters, polishing and polishing, but I'm going to take you up on the offer as soon as I think it's ready to go.

Thank you immensely!

 

[tinkerdan]

I would go with a chapter chapter swap and both side could see if it's a go or no go for them. See if they fit or not.

 

[Shorewalker]

I would go with a chapter chapter swap and both side could see if it's a go or no go for them. See if they fit or not.

That's a very good shout.

Although in fairness, I think two for my one might be more equitable.

 

[unbusy thing]

Ed also mentions trunking a 300,000 word mega epic; he kept ideas not words. (I know you're busy, but the podcast really is worth a listen.)

I've done the same. 250,000 words that were fun to write, not to read; I call it pagepuking I realised I'd written the wrong character's story and started at the wrong place. As to cutting the book in half, I have the same predicament with a different book. Do you make a shorter book but sacrifice resolution? In an ideal world, shorter wouldn't mean unfinished, just much, much tighter. I thought Joe Abercrombie's The Blade Itself was pure set up. I've just finished Ada Palmer's Too Like the Lightning which suffered from being one book cut in half and had too much world-building padding for my tastes (but other people love it).

We all want to be exceptions to the rule, but count the odds. In Steering the Craft, the late great Ursula K le Guin advocated cutting the word count by half. Each sentence should do multiple things: advance plot, character, setting.

I've had a look on Critiques and I can see an improvement in each version. Your premise is interesting but there's still too much padding, so I'm glad to hear you're still cutting. Bluntly, I'd start with the door flying open in Jenn's face, her getting a faceful of drunk stinky fat guy, wondering whether she's got the right place and asking for Lady Blade (although that does sound somewhat unfortunately like a woman's razor - sorry). Make the reader intensely interested in what Jenn's not revealing.

Again, good luck!