A Dark Lord tune

[Luiglin]

There's a part in my current Dark Lord main work where he finds himself coming out with song, much to his embarrassment. As background, his current incarnation is in a heroic barbarian body, which is giving him issues of good. Also, the world parodies D&D in certain respects with a Questing Guild, the membership made up standard stereotypical character classes.

There was only one song that seemed to fit and was short enough for me to play with. Two questions, is it obvious and does it work? As normal, good, bad and ugly comments always welcome. Cheers.
------------------------------
Arggh ah, Arggh ah!
We come from the land of the rock and cold,
With the all-day sun and the hot springs scold
The war axe of the gods
Will drive our bands to novel lands,
We’ll be that horde, screaming and howling,
Brunilda, I am coming!
Downing many ales and roasting boars,
Our only aim your dungeons hidden drawers

Arggh, ah, arggh ah!
We come from the land of the rock and cold,
With the all-day sun and the hot springs scold
How soft your fighters so untrained,
We’re lured with tales of gore,
And promises of riches galore
Barbarians for hire
Downing many ales and roasting boars,
Our only aim your dungeons hidden drawers
So now you'd better stop and hire us for your ruins,
For a competitive price we can win the day
Even with you all losing

 

[-K2-]

Honestly, and PLEASE correct me if I'm wrong... yet I could swear you wrote that, simply by only slightly changing this:

Doh! And I just re-read your second paragraph understanding it. My comment above was made WITHOUT realizing you used a song to write that. In other words... What I'm reading is perhaps a little too close to the original. I could even envision the tempo and tune simply from your lyrics.

Then again, perhaps that was your intent (?).

In any case, having played an online-chat-rpg for many years, my principal character a barbarian (with significant race/culture building so I paid attention to many others as well), I will say that the 'IS' is about as cliché and overused as it gets regarding such races. Again, that might be what you want or don't, I'm not sure. Heck, I even used it (back in 2000), then realized everyone else did as well .

Hope that helps, sorry

K2

 

[Luiglin]

My intention is to make it as blindingly obvious as that. The point is not to make the reader think 'how clever the author is' but more 'groan, that's an awful pun'.

Good humour is only ever appreciated by a select few ie I dislike Ricky Gervais but can appreciate he's good with comedy because he is popular.

Yet bad puns are appreciated by all. Hence why all Christmas cracker jokes are so bad

However, it does need some work, cheers.

 

[-K2-]

My intention is to make it as blindingly obvious as that...

Then please, let me rephrase my post.

You Sir, have skilzZ!

Warm thoughts for the success of your efforts,

K2

 

[OHB]

My concern would be with potential copyright infringement. There's no such thing as "fair use" for songs. (i.e. The record company can make you pay for every word of the song that you use.) I don't know whether these rules apply to parodies of songs, but it's worth looking into as you can get slapped with a lawsuit for thousands of pounds if it is considered copyright infringement.

 

[Luiglin]

My concern would be with potential copyright infringement. There's no such thing as "fair use" for songs. (i.e. The record company can make you pay for every word of the song that you use.) I don't know whether these rules apply to parodies of songs, but it's worth looking into as you can get slapped with a lawsuit for thousands of pounds if it is considered copyright infringement.

There is that and I'll probably end up writing something original. It'd never be as good though.

Then again Robert Plant only lives around 5 miles away from me. I could always go and knock on his door

 

[Phyrebrat]

Do you need two stanzas in their entirety?

With respect to pacing I think two whole verses might be a bit tedious. If not it certainly would interrupt the pace of the text before and after. Also, in the text, will it be rendered all in one as above, or split between dialogue/thought/narrative? The latter might give you some really fertile ground to make the humour more sophisticated and manipulate the reader more.

Good luck

pH

 

[Luiglin]

Cheers @Phyrebrat. I've not thought about splitting it up as part of the narrative. That cod be fun to mess about with.