Cli-Fi
John J. Falco
Here is something I just threw together I hope you enjoy.
The Squirrel dashed along a crack that snaked its way miles and miles as far as he could see. Maps created by humans would have called this, the San Andreas fault, but for the squirrel and his fellow nut hunting comrades all he knew was that it was a literal gold mine. He was plump and older; his bushy tail was almost completely grey in color but his little nose twitched in the air as he picked up the scent of acorns just as well as any young squirrel in his prime.
He followed the scent of the nuts and using whatever type of radar squirrel’s had to determine the location of said nuts, he knew he was getting close. Close to the most fun hunt yet. When he reached the collection point, his mouth hung open and a human would have been surprised to see a squirrel standing there drooling. His senses were going crazy, they had to be here! He could sense nuts everywhere as the pulsating aroma revealed their hidden locations as far as the eye could see.
His nose itched with excitement as his hind legs twitched getting ready to commence the hunt. He quickly dashed in a straight line where he counted nearly twenty before he started digging. He jumped across the crack and counted forty more and dug in about five locations. Oh what fun! He zig zagged across the crack to and fro counting up to two hundred nuts before he lost count and just decided to dig everywhere. Eventually he would collect what he wanted, and amass a massive fortune; enough to displace and horde. Wonderful!
As he went forth on this quest of quests he was determined to count all the hidey spots before digging up whatever he needed. A small impulse grew in him and it told him to flee, but the scent of the nuts was too strong and over powered that impulse. Then, the ground shifted. One half of the crack rose and the other fell. The crack got wider and wider as the squirrel tried to maintain some type of direction in the chaos of falling and dividing ground. The squirrel had to be careful now as his first instinct to flee was getting stronger, but he hesitated. It made no sense. He couldn’t flee. If he ran away, how would that look? He would be ostracized by the others. He would be called a loser squirrel and a scaredy-squirrel. It would be blasphemy to not have a fun hunt here, regardless of any danger he might sense from incoming predators, but what he was sensing was unlike anything any creature or human had ever seen before.
The Squirrel spotted a glistening pattern of silver crosses and in the distance there was a big old oak tree. Perfect cover! As he darted onto the fence he sniffed and realized that it was the type of fencing he had seen before. The fence with the bad smell. The small that warned, “Out all ye who enter.” The fencing surrounded a big old white house that almost looked like a castle. As the squirrel’s tail flicked back and forth it seemed to dust off a bright yellow sign which read, “Beware of Dog.” The humans lived there and that was also a warning to other humans. “Out all ye who enter.”
He did all this as the ground rumbled and churned below his paws. As It swayed back and forth, the fence didn’t seem to be the safest place anymore so he went dashing over to the tree where he waited and watched; scratching his face to get the scent of the acorns all over his body. At least he could enjoy that. The nuts would be there after the rumbling stopped, he hoped.
Suddenly, he heard a loud booming bark coming from below. There he was! Squirrel’s didn’t have a native word for dog in their own language so he just called the dog, the stupid. They didn’t dare go near the wild ones that roamed free in the desert or the stupids that stood guard of their master’s properties and just stood there without fences. Nor would they bother the stupids when their human masters took them outside with big sticks wrapped around their necks. They knew those sticks were not for climbing, anyway. It was too close to the humans and the stupids, but they were more than content to torment the stupids, as long as they were behind these fences and they were up in a tree far, far away from the ground where the stupids couldn’t possibly catch them. That was fun too, and he never had experienced what fun it truly was to torment a dog in the middle of an Earthquake while standing on the branch of an oak tree. Hilarity commenced.
If the squirrel could read English, which he couldn’t, then he would have seen that this big black shaggy dog’s name was Butch. As it said on the gold thing on its collar. It didn’t matter to the squirrel; he could mock the stupid with or without a name. It continued barking until its human master came outside seemingly more affected by Butch’s asinine barking rather than whatever the squirrel was experiencing. As the tree shook and its gorgeous nuts fell from its branches the squirrel at first ran to protect them from falling, but the acorns didn’t look right. As he grabbed one from the branches, he stuck his nose up at it. Blah! Not ripe enough yet. The squirrel concluded as he chucked the rotting stinky acorn to the ground. He watched breathlessly as they all fell around him, hoping they would hit the stupid. Butch too, didn’t seem to care about the rumbling beneath his own paws as the Earthquake continued. He cared more about the squirrel and the fact that it seemed to have weaponized the tree that he had peed on, every day since he was a puppy.
“Butch! Stop that racket and come inside.” John Paul Henry yelled in mid yawn as he stretched his arms to the sky. “It’s just an earthquake.” The Squirrel was amazed that the human was so relaxed in this situation, the rumbling was going on for what seemed like minutes before. Was the human just waking up now??? Talk about terrible senses. He could not sleep like this. The squirrel looked back down at the stupid who was staring at his master with a similar dumbfounded look. Did his master not see what this squirrel had done to the tree??!! Acorns were hitting him in places he didn’t even know existed! As Butch started to chase his tail, John Paul Henry, a tall lanky guy in his mid-60s wearing the same cheap suit he fell asleep in grabbed onto the shaggy collar. Butch obediently followed his master even though he heard the little squirrel noises that always mocked him in the distance. He wanted to turn back and chase the squirrel again, but knew Master would be angry if he did it. Hopefully there would be treats where he was going! In fact, he was almost sure of it...
Then, Butch felt the grip on his neck loosen. He looked around, and couldn’t find Master anywhere. Howls from the neighboring dogs all started echoing in unison with each other in the night. This was not a full moon howl for clouds covered the area; this was something else. Something strange and Butch felt the need to join in. In the morning there would be all manners of new senses and new smells to experience, but for now, Butch was confused and howled with the neighborhood pack. One voice that exclaimed to the world, “Where is Master?”
To any human walking by, the scene would have been eerie. The howling simply scary, and if they paid attention to the actions of squirrels or any other wildlife in the vicinity, they wouldn’t know what to make of the chaos. For the population of Shady Acres, a nice fifty-five and older community nestled discreetly in the suburbs of that the unincorporated town of Smithtown California, had been reduced to zero in the blink of an eye.
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Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, Michael Bloomberg, the Kochs, the Waltons, the Trumps all dead and the direct heirs to their fortunes MIA. Governments around the world were left scrambling, unstable, and decimated. Top media corporations in the world were left without a basic chain of command and some of their prime time news lineups. The United Sates government had never been so unstable. At least the British were set. “All Hail King William,” The BBC had declared. All US institutions were struggling to fill the massive gaps in society that used to belong to the older and more experienced, and that’s where Allison Henry, crisis manager came in.
The Big Boned John Hopkins graduate grabbed a newspaper as she kissed her boyfriend on the cheek..
The Squirrel dashed along a crack that snaked its way miles and miles as far as he could see. Maps created by humans would have called this, the San Andreas fault, but for the squirrel and his fellow nut hunting comrades all he knew was that it was a literal gold mine. He was plump and older; his bushy tail was almost completely grey in color but his little nose twitched in the air as he picked up the scent of acorns just as well as any young squirrel in his prime.
He followed the scent of the nuts and using whatever type of radar squirrel’s had to determine the location of said nuts, he knew he was getting close. Close to the most fun hunt yet. When he reached the collection point, his mouth hung open and a human would have been surprised to see a squirrel standing there drooling. His senses were going crazy, they had to be here! He could sense nuts everywhere as the pulsating aroma revealed their hidden locations as far as the eye could see.
His nose itched with excitement as his hind legs twitched getting ready to commence the hunt. He quickly dashed in a straight line where he counted nearly twenty before he started digging. He jumped across the crack and counted forty more and dug in about five locations. Oh what fun! He zig zagged across the crack to and fro counting up to two hundred nuts before he lost count and just decided to dig everywhere. Eventually he would collect what he wanted, and amass a massive fortune; enough to displace and horde. Wonderful!
As he went forth on this quest of quests he was determined to count all the hidey spots before digging up whatever he needed. A small impulse grew in him and it told him to flee, but the scent of the nuts was too strong and over powered that impulse. Then, the ground shifted. One half of the crack rose and the other fell. The crack got wider and wider as the squirrel tried to maintain some type of direction in the chaos of falling and dividing ground. The squirrel had to be careful now as his first instinct to flee was getting stronger, but he hesitated. It made no sense. He couldn’t flee. If he ran away, how would that look? He would be ostracized by the others. He would be called a loser squirrel and a scaredy-squirrel. It would be blasphemy to not have a fun hunt here, regardless of any danger he might sense from incoming predators, but what he was sensing was unlike anything any creature or human had ever seen before.
The Squirrel spotted a glistening pattern of silver crosses and in the distance there was a big old oak tree. Perfect cover! As he darted onto the fence he sniffed and realized that it was the type of fencing he had seen before. The fence with the bad smell. The small that warned, “Out all ye who enter.” The fencing surrounded a big old white house that almost looked like a castle. As the squirrel’s tail flicked back and forth it seemed to dust off a bright yellow sign which read, “Beware of Dog.” The humans lived there and that was also a warning to other humans. “Out all ye who enter.”
He did all this as the ground rumbled and churned below his paws. As It swayed back and forth, the fence didn’t seem to be the safest place anymore so he went dashing over to the tree where he waited and watched; scratching his face to get the scent of the acorns all over his body. At least he could enjoy that. The nuts would be there after the rumbling stopped, he hoped.
Suddenly, he heard a loud booming bark coming from below. There he was! Squirrel’s didn’t have a native word for dog in their own language so he just called the dog, the stupid. They didn’t dare go near the wild ones that roamed free in the desert or the stupids that stood guard of their master’s properties and just stood there without fences. Nor would they bother the stupids when their human masters took them outside with big sticks wrapped around their necks. They knew those sticks were not for climbing, anyway. It was too close to the humans and the stupids, but they were more than content to torment the stupids, as long as they were behind these fences and they were up in a tree far, far away from the ground where the stupids couldn’t possibly catch them. That was fun too, and he never had experienced what fun it truly was to torment a dog in the middle of an Earthquake while standing on the branch of an oak tree. Hilarity commenced.
If the squirrel could read English, which he couldn’t, then he would have seen that this big black shaggy dog’s name was Butch. As it said on the gold thing on its collar. It didn’t matter to the squirrel; he could mock the stupid with or without a name. It continued barking until its human master came outside seemingly more affected by Butch’s asinine barking rather than whatever the squirrel was experiencing. As the tree shook and its gorgeous nuts fell from its branches the squirrel at first ran to protect them from falling, but the acorns didn’t look right. As he grabbed one from the branches, he stuck his nose up at it. Blah! Not ripe enough yet. The squirrel concluded as he chucked the rotting stinky acorn to the ground. He watched breathlessly as they all fell around him, hoping they would hit the stupid. Butch too, didn’t seem to care about the rumbling beneath his own paws as the Earthquake continued. He cared more about the squirrel and the fact that it seemed to have weaponized the tree that he had peed on, every day since he was a puppy.
“Butch! Stop that racket and come inside.” John Paul Henry yelled in mid yawn as he stretched his arms to the sky. “It’s just an earthquake.” The Squirrel was amazed that the human was so relaxed in this situation, the rumbling was going on for what seemed like minutes before. Was the human just waking up now??? Talk about terrible senses. He could not sleep like this. The squirrel looked back down at the stupid who was staring at his master with a similar dumbfounded look. Did his master not see what this squirrel had done to the tree??!! Acorns were hitting him in places he didn’t even know existed! As Butch started to chase his tail, John Paul Henry, a tall lanky guy in his mid-60s wearing the same cheap suit he fell asleep in grabbed onto the shaggy collar. Butch obediently followed his master even though he heard the little squirrel noises that always mocked him in the distance. He wanted to turn back and chase the squirrel again, but knew Master would be angry if he did it. Hopefully there would be treats where he was going! In fact, he was almost sure of it...
Then, Butch felt the grip on his neck loosen. He looked around, and couldn’t find Master anywhere. Howls from the neighboring dogs all started echoing in unison with each other in the night. This was not a full moon howl for clouds covered the area; this was something else. Something strange and Butch felt the need to join in. In the morning there would be all manners of new senses and new smells to experience, but for now, Butch was confused and howled with the neighborhood pack. One voice that exclaimed to the world, “Where is Master?”
To any human walking by, the scene would have been eerie. The howling simply scary, and if they paid attention to the actions of squirrels or any other wildlife in the vicinity, they wouldn’t know what to make of the chaos. For the population of Shady Acres, a nice fifty-five and older community nestled discreetly in the suburbs of that the unincorporated town of Smithtown California, had been reduced to zero in the blink of an eye.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, Michael Bloomberg, the Kochs, the Waltons, the Trumps all dead and the direct heirs to their fortunes MIA. Governments around the world were left scrambling, unstable, and decimated. Top media corporations in the world were left without a basic chain of command and some of their prime time news lineups. The United Sates government had never been so unstable. At least the British were set. “All Hail King William,” The BBC had declared. All US institutions were struggling to fill the massive gaps in society that used to belong to the older and more experienced, and that’s where Allison Henry, crisis manager came in.
The Big Boned John Hopkins graduate grabbed a newspaper as she kissed her boyfriend on the cheek..
