Words you can cut

[HareBrain]

"The Man in the High Castle," that PKD wrote in 1962, did.

I'd beware of this. To me, this implies there's another "The Man in the High Castle" PKD wrote, not in 1962, and you're seeking to distinguish between them.

Which and that are not exactly interchangeable. You can find the "rules" with Google.

 

[Don]

PKD's "Solar Lottery", written in 1955, never received a Hollywood treatment; his 1962 novel, "The Man in the High Castle", did.


Note: I've only moved the commas because, on my side of the Pond, that's where we put them when punctuating text in quotes that isn't dialogue. (Oh, and I like using semicolons, so you can ignore that as well.)

Yes, your prose reads much better. My poorly written, contrived example simply illustrates my point. It's far too awkward for actual use anywhere else.

 

[Don]

I'd beware of this. To me, this implies there's another "The Man in the High Castle" PKD wrote, not in 1962, and you're seeking to distinguish between them.

Which and that are not exactly interchangeable. You can find the "rules" with Google.

This is good to know. Danke.

 

[AMB]

Before you decide you've overused a particular word or phrase, do you go back and read what you've written as if it was someone else's and you were a reader picking it up for pleasure?

Cutting or changing word instances for overuse is a critical process. You should start by making sure there is a creative need. With critical brain off, does the work feel repetitive? If so, what does your creative mind feel would be better?

Not everyone is going to notice you shrugged 90 times in the last three chapters if it fits the flow of the narrative and your writing voice. Obviously there will always be some who pick up every instance, but that will be the case whatever you do. If, however, an uncritical reading flags them up as overused or unnecessarily bogging the story down, then you should listen to that voice and see if it offers up suggestions creatively rather than critically.

There are times I read something in a novel that gives me pause, and I think "if it were me, I would have read better this way." If you can divorce yourself from your own work enough to do that, it might be interesting what you come up with.

Disclaimer: These days I find I'm gravitating more to public domain works that were written before most of the writing "rules" became a thing. The sheer breadth of narrative voices is, in my opinion, so much wider and more interesting than a lot of what modernity has to offer. As such, any advice I give may be contradictory to established thought.

 

[Mark Turnbull]

That is a great article, I always search for 'just' because it slips in. I'll be using this plenty!