In media res concerns

[Antemurale]

Hello!

I am writing a story that can be summarized as speculative historical science fiction. It takes place in deep time, ranging to the recent past. I am achieving this by presenting the story as a series of "primary" sources that detail efforts by non-humans to genetically engineer a species to serve them in a bureaucratic role. Put simply, my story as I envision it does not have a traditional narrative structure. The reader is meant to construct their own narrative through the progress outlined in the "primary" sources with sparse exposition.

However, detailing the characteristics of the non-humans up front and presenting the story in a linear fashion spoils the end of the story. So I thought I would skip right to what I call the experiment logs, and then introduce one of the engineered individuals a few chapters in to take over as a scribe for ongoing experiments and to detail the events that led to his creation, as well as the events yet to come after the experiments end.

However, the non-humans in this universe are wholly non-human - lacking concepts like self and identity, war, deception, and the value of life. They do not express themselves as individuals. They have no names. They have no personalities. They are conduits for information. As a result, the first several chapters - insofar as that word applies - read as cold and impersonal.

Due to this, my problem is that I don't have a solid hook. When I gave the first experiment log consisting of 3 sections, or chapters I suppose, to a few people to give me their thoughts, I did get the desired "what happens next" but also a few of them were concerned with what can be best summed up as "who are these people and why do I care?"

So my question then is how do I humanize the inhuman, without making them too human and shattering the illusion, while at the same time maintaining the in media res approach, which I am quite satisfied with.

 

[-K2-]

If I understand it correctly, might you be served by presenting one of the Gengineered beings first and present it from their viewpoint, concerns and revelations?

K2

 

[Antemurale]

I considered that and even wrote a version of the story with a preface that established a traditional setting.

My concern at that point would be in introducing the scribe, having him give a little context, and then having him more or less vanish from the story until his own creation a fifth of the way through the manuscript.

Is that legal or kosher or however you want to say it?

 

[BAYLOR]

Nevermind.

 

[The Judge]

Welcome to the Chrons, Antemurale. That's an interesting conundrum you're faced with.

It would be possible for you to introduce your engineered scribe in a kind of prologue and then not bring him in again for some chapters if you wanted, but there are perhaps potential difficulties. First and most importantly, your readers might get a bit miffed if they're enjoying his story and suddenly they're plunged into something very different -- one short chapter of cold and impersonal might be fine, but if they're faced with several long chapters, that interesting preface/prologue might still not be enough to carry them through. The jump back in time to before he's created might also annoy some readers. (I've read a story which did that, so the first chapter was set some months before chapter 2, and from 2 onwards it went in choronologcial order until mid-way through the book we're back at the time of Ch1. The only reason for it was to start the book with something interesting, as Ch 2 and onwards weren't nearly as gripping. And yes, it did annoy me!) And, of course, there's always the risk that if the reintroduction is delayed too long they forget who the scribe is and get confused when they meet him again!

Is there a way that you could alternate chapters? So an initial intro of your scribe, then a brief primary source, then the scribe again, and so on. That would then carry its own momentum forward. You could have the scribe perhaps introducing each primary source with some detail, but you could also try and do it as separate timelines, which perhaps might converge at a later point.

Otherwise, if you're trying to humanise the non-humans, it might be worth just experimenting with different voices for the experimental logs. Hard to do, if they don't have personalities or sense of self, but presumably you've allowed yourself some leeway in word use and such like, that would allow a distinctive voice, or perhaps argument, to appear?

It sounds intriguing, anyway! Good luck with it!

 

[-K2-]

As another thought, the non-humans could also come off as ignorantly comedic, satirical (to human standards). IOW, what they value very seriously we might find absurd. Naturally, their ways and opinions all work out very well for what they're trying to accomplish. So, it's actually us humans that are actually ignorant in the end, and up until we realize that the non-humans seem silly.

Sad to say, but never dismiss the human ability to ridicule, find humor in, and make fun of that which 'we' don't understand. It would of course need to be presented in a very serious/dry fashion.

K2

 

[JNG01]

Your story sounds interesting, and you've got a fascinating writing tactics issue on your hands.

Is it possible to build an accessible human frame around your first few chapters? A history teacher, introducing his students to "the way it [whatever it is] happened," and giving the context for the primary sources they're about to study? That's meant to be more example than suggestion--I guess the question is really whether you can build a relatable frame to ease the reader into your less-relatable POV?

 

[Biskit]

I understand the fascination with trying to present the utterly non-human and I think you have set yourself a significant writing challenge. The responses above have really highlighted the major stumbling block for your venture - your human readers will always have trouble relating to, or taking and interest in, your non-human entities. You've asked how to "humanize the inhuman" but I think what you really want to do is make them relatable, which is not necessarily the same thing. And I think your "inhumans" need to be relatable all the way through the book.

My suggestions would be:

1: Show your inhumans through human eyes. As @-K2- says, humour/comedy can work here, or even just the human puzzlement over the peculiar behaviour.

2: Show the same events from more than one viewpoint, which allows you demonstrate the mismatch between your human and inhuman perception. There's a link in a recent post on another thread (https://www.sffchronicles.com/threads/576668/post-2395009) to an excerpt from an old favourite of mine - Coupling - a very sharp and funny relationships sitcom. The same scene is run twice, in two different languages, so that neither character understands the other and their perceptions of what's happening are wrong.

3: Devise a bridge character who can somehow understand both sides, human and inhuman. In particular, I was thinking of something I saw on a documentary some years ago about Temple Grandin, animal behaviourist with Asperger's. Essentially her great advantage in studying animal behaviour was that she doesn't project a "normal" human framework on to the animals. You might find her a useful resource in general.

4: Give serious thought to restructuring your story. If what you're trying to present isn't working, then perhaps you need to take a step back and work out how to tell the story, pick out the things that matter and work out how to present them. (That's a bit "do as I say not as I do", as I'm not much of a planner, but I've recently ripped out 20k of a story, abandoned the whole thread and started again because it was just not working.)

 

[BAYLOR]

The reader has to be able to identify with these non human characters. But based on your specifications of these non human characters and how they operate and look at the world , that's going to be difficult to impossible to achieve. You have to give your reader a stake in all of this . A reason or reasons why they should care about them and what happens to them. if you don't, then the story will not succeed because you will lose the reader.

 

[Antemurale]

Thank you all for the thoughtful responses!

A mix of deep and almost uncanny understanding as best as I can portray it and wildly off-the-mark guesses seems like the best course for achieving my goal. Unintentional humor can also highlight the absurdities of human behavior. I think after reading these suggestions, my own perception of the problem was off the mark. I don't need to humanize them so much as I need to ensure that there is a significant gap in human versus non-human interpretation of the world around them. I need to make them similar enough to appeal to the analytical side of the reader while being different enough to distance them from the emotional side of the reader.

Such an arrangement would also serve to cause the reader to question human emotional responses in consideration of analytical realities, creating conflict in the reader as the conflict in the story progresses. If I can do it right, anyway.

This would also solve the problem of it becoming an us versus them story, which is something I hoped to avoid.

Y'all are fantastic.

 

[BAYLOR]

Your story idea and the world set up sounds quite fascinating.

 

[ginny]

I had a thought:
It might work out to develop a narrator that has its own personality to tell a story.
Then at the beginning of each chapter have a piece written by the scribe that relates to the story being told.
Not sure about what the point of your story is; however, it sounds like it could be interesting--just needs a narrator to enliven it a bit.