Grammar question for dialog and action

[JNG01]

I ran a search and read a lot of informative posts on this topic in this forum, but neither the posts nor my Google skills were able to help me answer this question to my satisfaction:

Is there a rule for paragraphing action in close proximity to dialog? For example is it?

"Run, Spot, run," Johnny said. He cupped his hands to his mouth and shouted the phrase again, just to make sure Spot heard him. The old hound was practically deaf, after all.

"I can hear you fine," Spot grumbled.

Or is it:

"Run, Spot, run," Johnny said.

He cupped his hands to his mouth and shouted the phrase again, just to make sure Spot heard him. The old hound was practically deaf, after all.

"I can hear you fine," Spot grumbled.

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

I don't think there's a rule for this. Either one is OK.

I prefer the first one, as the paragraph continues with what Johnny is doing. The focus is still on him, if you see what I mean. In contrast to something like this:

"Run, Spot, run," Johnny said.

The old dog ignored him.

The focus changes to Spot.

(Be consistent in capitalizing Spot, by the way, as it is a proper noun.)

 

[JNG01]

Thanks--very helpful (and, fixed the capitalization typo).

 

[AMB]

Just to point out, your example can also be written:

"Run, Spot, run." Johnny cupped his hands to his mouth and shouted the phrase again, just to make sure Spot heard him. The old hound was practically deaf, after all.

Because the action and the dialogue are together and it is clear that Johnny is the one speaking, you can omit the "said" if you desire. Just putting that there so you know it is an option.


A good way to get a feel for this is to look at a few of your favourite books Read a few passages with dialogue and action and see how it is handled.

 

[ginny]

One rule of thumb might be:
If what is said is important to the reader then it might be better set off in its own paragraph.
However if the dialogue and the action are equal weight then they work well together.
Likewise if the action needs highlighting then perhaps break it away to emphasize it--keeping in mind that in so doing that it inadvertantly draws attention to the dialogue.

One other thought--if the dialogue has a response in dialogue that is important to the story--you should pay attention to how much action you put between the initial dialogue and the response.

I have read books that have dialogue and then a long one page descriptive-action world building paragraph with the response on the next page and have had to go back to recall what the other character is responding to.

 

[JNG01]

Thanks for all the help--really appreciate it.