Question on revealing new characters' names

[Artemis Cromwell]

When introducing the names of new characters, when would be a good time in the story to reveal their names? I'm currently stuck on this scene in the story I'm currently working on and have been debating whether to outright reveal their name or having another character aside from the main character reveal it. I appreciate any feedback that I can get on this matter.

 

[-K2-]

Just my opinion, but I'd think the earlier the name is presented--casually, almost as though inconsequential--the better. From there on you can just use the name and that will hammer it home (vs. trying to do so at the first instance).
I could elaborate on what I mean, but I'm sensing that would just muddy it.

As I review my work I'm faced with that very issue. I'm finding a bunch of: 'it turns out his name was...' or forced in somewhere so it doesn't fit. So, I'm trying to correct that as we speak.

Welcome to the forum!

K2

 

[Artemis Cromwell]

Just my opinion, but I'd think the earlier the name is presented--casually, almost as though inconsequential--the better. From there on you can just use the name and that will hammer it home (vs. trying to do so at the first instance).
I could elaborate on what I mean, but I'm sensing that would just muddy it.

As I review my work I'm faced with that very issue. I'm finding a bunch of: 'it turns out his name was...' or forced in somewhere so it doesn't fit. So, I'm trying to correct that as we speak.

Welcome to the forum!

K2

Thank you for your advice, K2. I think that the issue I'm having is slightly different. What I'm having trouble with since the scene is written in the main character's POV is how quickly to reveal the new character's name to the reader and the main character. I'm just unsure about how long I should refer to character ambiguously before revealing their name.

 

[Joshua Jones]

First of all, welcome to the Chrons! If you are so inclined, we would love to learn a bit more about you and your work in the Introductions section.

Given you're writing in 1st person, I would suggest you introduce the other character's name when you protagonist learns it. If he/she learned it before the story began, I'd have the protagonist refer to the character by name the entire time. The principles are a little different in other perspectives, but for 1st person, my impression is this should follow the character's knowledge.

If you're talking about a long period without naming the character (as in multiple chapters of the character being present), you may want to use a consistent descriptor, so the audience knows who it is (the One Armed Man is one of the better known examples).

When you get up to 30 posts, feel free to post an excerpt on the critiques, and we can give more direct feedback to what you have!

 

[Artemis Cromwell]

I was concerned about how to refer to the character without it being overdone, but I think I have a clearer understanding of how to approach this problem now. Thank you.

 

[-K2-]

Just my opinion, but I'd think the earlier the name is presented--casually, almost as though inconsequential--the better. From there on you can just use the name and that will hammer it home (vs. trying to do so at the first instance).

As I review my work I'm faced with that very issue. I'm finding a bunch of: 'it turns out his name was...' or forced in somewhere so it doesn't fit. So, I'm trying to correct that as we speak.

Though I now understand the OP has a different situation, I thought I'd toss out a couple examples of my own changes. In the first, it's important to me that the protagonist's 'full' name is voiced in the first and last paragraph of each chapter (just a thing I've got going). Unfortunately, in the very first chapter it feels clumsy:

Two days? No, three maybe…what does it matter anyway, Rokka-Kae wondered when last she slept, lethargically tugging at her restraints.

I've changed that to this:

Two days? No, three maybe…what does it matter anyway, Kae wondered when last she slept, lethargically tugging at her restraints.
Very Short Paragraph...
Very Short Line...
“3-7-9, Rokka-Kae, stop talking and moving,” a guard interrupted before he resumed whining about the late hour.

In another example I'm leaving alone, I'm a quarter of the way through Kae and Pogue's first encounter before Pouge's name is ever used. What is already mentioned, is how Kae only understands bits of what Pogue says. But, one of those bits is her introduction:

"...aneejawn. Mi Pogue, mi ahways beed ‘ere. Mi da firster southpaw nawt ka’-uh-dese slick tourst. Mi noewt ebeyjawnt bout Sowfilly. Jes axs haroun, un mi naw dimmy neeter.” [T2E]

Kae’s hand slipped to her pistol when Pogue’s whispers shifted to casual speaking without the volume control. The real trouble was, Kae could barely understand her.

What I'm trying to remove is poor writing like this: Blah, blah, blah, Michael as his name turned out, was...


So, that's what I meant...hehe.

K2

 

[Artemis Cromwell]

Is it really considered poor writing if another character that the protagonist knows or the villain reveals their name? In the scene that I was referring to, my newest antagonist senses a presence they're familiar with and says the new character's name after they save the protagonist.

 

[DLCroix]

Is it really considered poor writing if another character that the protagonist knows or the villain reveals their name? In the scene that I was referring to, my newest antagonist senses a presence they're familiar with and says the new character's name after they save the protagonist.

Not necessarily. In fact, it may happen that the characters do not know the name of the villain; it may be someone from they only have a few vague references to.

 

[Steve Harrison]

As a reader I like to know a characters name very quickly, so in my own work if in third I will often start the first sentence with the POV character's name, and in my WIP I began the first person novel with, My name is...

I think this is one of those many issues that trouble writers, but readers don't care about. They register the name - wherever and whenever it appears - and move on.

 

[Joshua Jones]

Is it really considered poor writing if another character that the protagonist knows or the villain reveals their name? In the scene that I was referring to, my newest antagonist senses a presence they're familiar with and says the new character's name after they save the protagonist.

I don't see why that necessarily would be bad writing... but like almost everything in writing, it depends on the execution.

 

[tinkerdan]

Always best to get the name out at the soonest moment.
Close character POV can be easy unless it's first person.

First person gets worse when they are the only character in the scene.

That's where you see some books putting the name in the chapter title--especially when there are more than one first person POV in the book--such as Heinlein''s Number of the Beast.

Other points of view it is much easier to drop the name in naturally right at the beginning of the novel-chapter-scene.